Dear Mandy,
How oft the fact that little minds run wild...
I always knew Xue Qi and Asyiqin were the more outspoken and rambunctious lot. I never expected Xiao Yuan to be so cheeky also. Hahaha... Tsk, tsk, Xiao Yuan teaching me not to read a book by it's cover alone... well, in case you don't know what these three lovely angels from heaven did, they spammed my tagboard with 107 tags, from like, 3pm onwards?! *Faint* Now perhaps it was a bad idea to give my blog address to my class... and I thought they'd be mature enough. Haha... well, Asyiqin, Xiao Yuan, Xue Qi, I'm not going to choose an angel amongst you three. You three are, to me, angels, just like everyone else in class... though yeah, there're some I'm closer to? But I care for you all the same... :)
Well, I watched the 3rd episode of 7th Heaven Season 2 today... (Yes yes, I finally managed to get in an hour to watch my ever increasing collection of unwatched DVDs... can hear all the laughter...) and this episode, though funny and everything, but spoke to me about one thing: how important it is to let your loved ones know that you love them, and how important it is not to say "I love you" to your significant other unless you're pretty certain that the relationship has become a commitment.. a commitment to marriage. I think that I was guilty of that before.. to say "I love you" to my ex girlfriends too quickly, too easily. I think overtime, those three words became oversaid, and lost its meaning... It kinda became a routine thing in the end, but I can say that when I was with Shi Ying, I meant it most of the time. I know it's not much, and may sound like an excuse. Ah... I guess that's why God hasn't sent the right one to me yet. I still need to learn the real meaning of saying "I love you" to someone who may be my significant other.
It's been kinda rocky for the Victorians' Day meetings thus far... seems to me that communication between the College and us have to be more clear... there're too many loopholes and everything already. *Sighs* It didn't help that yesterday, I was pretty stressed and all. I had to bite back for a good 15 minutes just to sit and compose myself before I could carry on working for V-Day and preparing CHemistry notes for my class. I think I'd been taking on too many things for my own good, and it didn't help that yesterday was a day of unhappy surprises... oh well, I'll take what I can... but I was really really thankful. Because God seemed to sense my breakdown, and He sent Gayne to me... haha...
Gayne and I were actually poring over Psalm 9, and she smsed me to ask me something about it. So I told her that I'm not in a very good mood. The next thing I know, I received an sms with this: "When the Oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King above the storms, I will be still, know You are God." The exact same chorus I sent Gayne when God had first prompted me to do something. And Gayne, as for so often and for too long, became the one who encouraged me to go on. She said "Don't quite know what's bothering you, but keep praying for strength. I know you'll pull through." And I told her I know God's with me... for He gave His son for us, and I know that He loves us. And Gayne just smiled back at me. The next day, I got an sms from her :"You alright? Don't let it overwhelm you... You're sronger than all of this." The day suddenly seemed very optimistic... Hahaha...
Praise God for today as he gave me only 2 periods, so I managed to finish the notes. And I also switched off my phone for the entire day until about 2pm, because I felt kinda irritated that my phone keeps ringing or keeps getting smses... So I just switched it off. Though I got a lot of smses in the end, but I could do my work in school much better without that distraction, so Praise God... haha...
Well, let's hope tomorrow is a good day, because I think I'm going to have a long day. Haha... God bless you!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Dear Mandy,
Oh well, it's a new week and this week, it being the Chinese New Year week, I think I was sufficiently rested... haha... but how did I spend my time? Let's see...
On Sunday, I went visiting. First to Granduncle's house then to er.. Great Granduncle's house... then back to Granduncle's house... haha... then to Uncle Quek's house then to Ah Zhor's house then to 3rd Aunt's house before making one big U-Turn for home... I don't really know if it was as good as the previous days, but one thing is for sure, I felt rather awkward amongst my cousins whom I have kept minimal contact with, save Marjorie. Hahaha...
On Monday, I spent time at home marking papers.. before I realised that it wasn't Tuesday. -_- Yeah, u can imagine how peeved I was. Haha.. completely lost track of time and what nots. So I marked finished one set of Chemistry papers before I decided to take a break, and finished watching my 7th Heaven Season 1 tapes, and also hopped over to watch "Just follow Law" starring Gurmit Singh and Fann Wong. The movie was rather hilarious, and it did make sitting in Row A not so bad after all. After that, I went back to watch "The Lake House" and it reminds me now that I still have a bit of Red Wine left to finish off. Hahaha... oh wellz... but in any case, it was a good day... as you saw in my previous post, I really love "The Lake House". *Grinz* Romance has always been a personal favourite.
On Tuesday, I spent it at home marking papers and settling everything for Victorians' Day. It has been a roller coaster journey for Victorians' Day... and as much as I'm glad that the event is coming soon, I'm also quite worried about the event itself.
On Wednesday and also Thursday, I went to MOE Teachers' Network with Valerie for the Relief Teacher Course. Imagine how surprised I was to see ZhangHao there. Haha.. so of course, we sat together for the first day for the session. Well, this course has been a relatively good one. I learnt a lot of new things, and also had a whole new outlook on teaching in general. Sharing our experiences with teachers from other schools showed us that each school has their own problems, and that of different levels (primary and secondary) the teaching styles and the students are rather different. Naturally, it was very refreshing to learn new styles, and to hear real stories from not only our Facilitator, but also each other. Of course, I talked about my dear angels from 1D to them, and some of them were surprised that I had such a class. Pleasantly surprised, being the adjective that should be used. Haha... well, what can I say? My 1D is good wad... haha... of course, I dunno how they're like now, but when I took them, they were, without a doubt, a joy to teach.
Well, things took a sharp twist on the 2nd day when I shifted to sit with another group of teachers. This set was more vocal, so it was more fun working with them. Of which, Geraldine, Celina, Lily, Adeline and one more guy whose name I can't recall, had much fun discussing everything. Our sharing was also very interesting, since Celina was a Home Economics teacher, and I bonded pretty well with Celina, Geraldine and Lily.
However, a shock came just after lunch. ZhangHao asked me how tall I was. -_- I know I'm short la.. but I told him my exact height. Then surprise of surprises when he told me his colleague from the same school on the same course as us thinks I'm relatively good looking. Double -_-. Of course, my first reaction was that he's joking, but it turned out he wasn't. Ok, theory is: which part of me is good looking, pray tell? Unless I'm exuding the sweet aroma of God, which is the only possibility that I can think of at the moment. Ah.. why should I bother right? Hahha... but it was something of a surprise as well.
Thursday also saw me going to VJC for the Victorians' Day meeting, and I saw 23rd again. I dunno if I should be happy or not, but I was quite happy to see Sheena. Haha... she's one of the 23rd juniors that I think is great. Well, granted there aren't a lot, but oh well. Anyway, Shefong came for the meeting, and we kickstarted it off, hoping to end it within an hour or so. However, certain twists and turns caused us to end at 9pm, and it left me feeling a furore of emotions. Surprise, disappointment and sadness... not at my committee, my committee has been nothing short of wonderful thus far... but more towards the college and their help. I realised that I had been taking things for granted, and I need to be more proactive. James was right. Being in OVA really is just a voluntary basis. Working with the school, who think they don't stand to get anything from the Alumni has really woken me up. I needed to be more assertive, and to that, I will.
I returned to BNSS on Friday, and I really felt quite happy to be back. I think that 1D were a bit surprised to see me. Haha.. but oh well. Kickstarted the day with 1H for Social Studies, but it really wasn't a good start at all... Though the resident trouble maker was relatively well behaved this time around, but in any case, the class in general was still noisy... sigh. Even resulted in a teacher coming in to scold them... ugh. The constant announcements for the teachers to go for photo taking was no help either... causing more of a distraction than anything else. The day flew by quickly with myself being assigned a new E Math slot for remedial for this Sec 5B boy... oh well... it's another challenge that God has sent me, so I gladly took it.
Towards the end of the day, I ended up chatting to my 1D girls again at the canteen, and also Yi Wei. Yi Wei's at Chapter 2 of "To Kill a Mockingbird" so yeah, it's not a bad progress... I can't really remember the story for "To Kill a Mockingbird", but I know that when i read it in Sec 2, I was pretty enthralled, so Yi Wei should be as well. Then, I played guitar to my 1D, and Julia, being Julia had to make a wise crack. But then of course, I kinda realised that I need to be more assertive also, and that I really should start watching my actions. Cannot afford to get too close to them anymore.
After that, I went home to rest for a while, then headed down to Redhill for Felicia's baptism and Victor's transfer. It was really a moment for celebration, and I was really quite happy that Victor's transfer finally came through. Of course, Feli's testimonial touched me, really, and well, I felt that God convicted me to pray to him during worship, which I did, and after that, just really felt better. Was so happy to see Wei Lin, and well, talked to Suzanne as well... hopefully she gets to stay at VJC... I'll pray extra hard for her. Then of course, I even got a chance to take a picture with Evelyn Tan. And then, God spoke when XiaoYun smsed me while I was on 147 on the way home that God had spoken to her to bless me... well... I really needed that, especially after Thursday's meeting, and the new predicament that had happened to VS... I went home, worked till late... and yar.
On Saturday, I went to Lincoln's house for New Year, and had a good chat with the people there. Lincoln, Wilson, Vincent, Ming Min, Yi Qiang and a lot of other people. It was quite disconcerting to know that the S3 Department is in such a mess, and I dunno if there's anything I can do about it. Sigh... well, left at about 3pm before I went home to rest... and then, I went out for dinner before I headed to Paya Lebar Coffee Bean for the meeting with VS. The result we decided on was rather disappointing. THat after so many days of brainstorming and planning, we had to convert VS to a recreation school. Sigh... luckily Man U won Fulham yesterday... hahaha...
Today, I went for Post Encounter. OFFICIALLY GRADUATED TO SOL 1! Hahahaha.. yay. But today's service was good... and well, I prayed for Sanjee today. I now remember that I want to include him in my prayers because... well, just because.
Well, been in a very off and on mood these last few days. Had a total emotional attack and got very confused.. especially when I chatted online to Sheena and to Jacob... Sigh... need to get a hold on my emotions, that much is certain... *Sighhz*
Okay, onwards to a new week with God's grace and His blessings!!
Oh well, it's a new week and this week, it being the Chinese New Year week, I think I was sufficiently rested... haha... but how did I spend my time? Let's see...
On Sunday, I went visiting. First to Granduncle's house then to er.. Great Granduncle's house... then back to Granduncle's house... haha... then to Uncle Quek's house then to Ah Zhor's house then to 3rd Aunt's house before making one big U-Turn for home... I don't really know if it was as good as the previous days, but one thing is for sure, I felt rather awkward amongst my cousins whom I have kept minimal contact with, save Marjorie. Hahaha...
On Monday, I spent time at home marking papers.. before I realised that it wasn't Tuesday. -_- Yeah, u can imagine how peeved I was. Haha.. completely lost track of time and what nots. So I marked finished one set of Chemistry papers before I decided to take a break, and finished watching my 7th Heaven Season 1 tapes, and also hopped over to watch "Just follow Law" starring Gurmit Singh and Fann Wong. The movie was rather hilarious, and it did make sitting in Row A not so bad after all. After that, I went back to watch "The Lake House" and it reminds me now that I still have a bit of Red Wine left to finish off. Hahaha... oh wellz... but in any case, it was a good day... as you saw in my previous post, I really love "The Lake House". *Grinz* Romance has always been a personal favourite.
On Tuesday, I spent it at home marking papers and settling everything for Victorians' Day. It has been a roller coaster journey for Victorians' Day... and as much as I'm glad that the event is coming soon, I'm also quite worried about the event itself.
On Wednesday and also Thursday, I went to MOE Teachers' Network with Valerie for the Relief Teacher Course. Imagine how surprised I was to see ZhangHao there. Haha.. so of course, we sat together for the first day for the session. Well, this course has been a relatively good one. I learnt a lot of new things, and also had a whole new outlook on teaching in general. Sharing our experiences with teachers from other schools showed us that each school has their own problems, and that of different levels (primary and secondary) the teaching styles and the students are rather different. Naturally, it was very refreshing to learn new styles, and to hear real stories from not only our Facilitator, but also each other. Of course, I talked about my dear angels from 1D to them, and some of them were surprised that I had such a class. Pleasantly surprised, being the adjective that should be used. Haha... well, what can I say? My 1D is good wad... haha... of course, I dunno how they're like now, but when I took them, they were, without a doubt, a joy to teach.
Well, things took a sharp twist on the 2nd day when I shifted to sit with another group of teachers. This set was more vocal, so it was more fun working with them. Of which, Geraldine, Celina, Lily, Adeline and one more guy whose name I can't recall, had much fun discussing everything. Our sharing was also very interesting, since Celina was a Home Economics teacher, and I bonded pretty well with Celina, Geraldine and Lily.
However, a shock came just after lunch. ZhangHao asked me how tall I was. -_- I know I'm short la.. but I told him my exact height. Then surprise of surprises when he told me his colleague from the same school on the same course as us thinks I'm relatively good looking. Double -_-. Of course, my first reaction was that he's joking, but it turned out he wasn't. Ok, theory is: which part of me is good looking, pray tell? Unless I'm exuding the sweet aroma of God, which is the only possibility that I can think of at the moment. Ah.. why should I bother right? Hahha... but it was something of a surprise as well.
Thursday also saw me going to VJC for the Victorians' Day meeting, and I saw 23rd again. I dunno if I should be happy or not, but I was quite happy to see Sheena. Haha... she's one of the 23rd juniors that I think is great. Well, granted there aren't a lot, but oh well. Anyway, Shefong came for the meeting, and we kickstarted it off, hoping to end it within an hour or so. However, certain twists and turns caused us to end at 9pm, and it left me feeling a furore of emotions. Surprise, disappointment and sadness... not at my committee, my committee has been nothing short of wonderful thus far... but more towards the college and their help. I realised that I had been taking things for granted, and I need to be more proactive. James was right. Being in OVA really is just a voluntary basis. Working with the school, who think they don't stand to get anything from the Alumni has really woken me up. I needed to be more assertive, and to that, I will.
I returned to BNSS on Friday, and I really felt quite happy to be back. I think that 1D were a bit surprised to see me. Haha.. but oh well. Kickstarted the day with 1H for Social Studies, but it really wasn't a good start at all... Though the resident trouble maker was relatively well behaved this time around, but in any case, the class in general was still noisy... sigh. Even resulted in a teacher coming in to scold them... ugh. The constant announcements for the teachers to go for photo taking was no help either... causing more of a distraction than anything else. The day flew by quickly with myself being assigned a new E Math slot for remedial for this Sec 5B boy... oh well... it's another challenge that God has sent me, so I gladly took it.
Towards the end of the day, I ended up chatting to my 1D girls again at the canteen, and also Yi Wei. Yi Wei's at Chapter 2 of "To Kill a Mockingbird" so yeah, it's not a bad progress... I can't really remember the story for "To Kill a Mockingbird", but I know that when i read it in Sec 2, I was pretty enthralled, so Yi Wei should be as well. Then, I played guitar to my 1D, and Julia, being Julia had to make a wise crack. But then of course, I kinda realised that I need to be more assertive also, and that I really should start watching my actions. Cannot afford to get too close to them anymore.
After that, I went home to rest for a while, then headed down to Redhill for Felicia's baptism and Victor's transfer. It was really a moment for celebration, and I was really quite happy that Victor's transfer finally came through. Of course, Feli's testimonial touched me, really, and well, I felt that God convicted me to pray to him during worship, which I did, and after that, just really felt better. Was so happy to see Wei Lin, and well, talked to Suzanne as well... hopefully she gets to stay at VJC... I'll pray extra hard for her. Then of course, I even got a chance to take a picture with Evelyn Tan. And then, God spoke when XiaoYun smsed me while I was on 147 on the way home that God had spoken to her to bless me... well... I really needed that, especially after Thursday's meeting, and the new predicament that had happened to VS... I went home, worked till late... and yar.
On Saturday, I went to Lincoln's house for New Year, and had a good chat with the people there. Lincoln, Wilson, Vincent, Ming Min, Yi Qiang and a lot of other people. It was quite disconcerting to know that the S3 Department is in such a mess, and I dunno if there's anything I can do about it. Sigh... well, left at about 3pm before I went home to rest... and then, I went out for dinner before I headed to Paya Lebar Coffee Bean for the meeting with VS. The result we decided on was rather disappointing. THat after so many days of brainstorming and planning, we had to convert VS to a recreation school. Sigh... luckily Man U won Fulham yesterday... hahaha...
Today, I went for Post Encounter. OFFICIALLY GRADUATED TO SOL 1! Hahahaha.. yay. But today's service was good... and well, I prayed for Sanjee today. I now remember that I want to include him in my prayers because... well, just because.
Well, been in a very off and on mood these last few days. Had a total emotional attack and got very confused.. especially when I chatted online to Sheena and to Jacob... Sigh... need to get a hold on my emotions, that much is certain... *Sighhz*
Okay, onwards to a new week with God's grace and His blessings!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Dear Mandy,
I just finished watching "The Lakehouse" and, my goodness, it is one of the sweetest and most touching shows I've watched thus far. Add on "A Walk to Remember", "The Notebook", "ElizabethTown", and all my Korean movies, this movie has to stand out as one of the better ones I've seen thus far...
I know I know... I'm really slow, taking like half a year to watch "The Lake House" since it was released ( I can just hear people laughing... :S), but I like to take my time and savour all these shows... u know, letting the hype of how good a movie it was die away before I take my time to slowly break it down and bask in the romantic ambience of everything. Though yeah, I'm not the one involved in it per se, but it's nice to know and try to think about where the romantic inspiration comes from... and it does give the entire moment a stronger and more real feel... call me a sap, but I really like doing that.
It's been so long also since I last felt like doing something romantic for people, and the amazing thing is, of late, I feel that my romantic tune is playing again... There's that feeling of wanting to do things for people again, and to make the extra effort to make people feel special... It all started when I decided to get the "Hugs for Teachers" books for Wei Lin, Ps Bel and YanXi, and then subsequently birthday presents for Yi Wei and Adeline, and then the individual hp chains for my angels. And of course, re attempting to write poetry when I wrote one for Valentine's Day inspired by the V-Day poetry challenge, but I didn't submit my entry in the end. Haha.. lame right?
Okay, in any case, I'm quite glad for the fact that I have this huge break. As much as I'm going to miss my kids because I won't be able to see them for close to 1 week, but I think the distance will give me some time to do some reflection and thinking... especially so about how I want to approach my lessons, and also re-assess myself as a teacher. I think I have renewed vigour this week... especially after that talk with Joel, after having gone through Fiesta with 1D, after having received the letter for my course at MOE, and most importantly, because of all my quiet time with God through reading the Bible, prayers, and also "Hugs for teachers". Honestly speaking, I never expected "Hugs for teachers" to be so accurate in all their chapters... they seem to know what happens when... and the chapters seem to be so aptly placed... because at a point when I felt very desolate and in need of some sort of encouragement, I found it when I opened that book. They understand the challenges that teachers go through... and they too seem to know when we need it...
I think it's becoming increasingly difficult to find perspective at the moment... and for some reason, I'm immersing myself in work... or trying to immerse myself in work. Because I can seriously tell you that when I don't, my thoughts start to wander and I end up seriously wondering where life's going to take me in a few years' time. (Yes Jacob, I know what you're thinking about, after we had that discussion), and most importantly, my outlook on life then. I think I'm going to be a stubborn, self-opinionated and adamant guy in the future... and I told Gayne that. And I was so touched when she said "Well, you keep praying that you don't inherit those traits. Plus, I'm sure I'd tell you if you ever became like that." Haha, it's nice to know you have friends like these... Gayne has been a wonderful blessing to me... haha... She's always there, and never afraid to tell me what she thinks, even if it means a major dent on my ego. Hahaha... but that's why Gayne's special and one of my closest friends about. She's definitely not fake.
Realised a lot of people are going away for exchange... Dom, Pris, Kyle.. and especially so, after I met Jenna today, that I realised that it's a lot on personal effort to keep in touch with everyone. And I think that's one of my objectives this year... especially since Pris and Kyle are going off for one entire year! Sigh... the older we grow, the less time we have, the more we realise we need friends. And for me? An increasing need to hold on dearly to all my memories.
Fiesta @ BNSS was a blast... I really enjoyed working with 1D, and I bonded specifically with Am, Shyn Yee, YongJun and Asyiqin. I also managed to see who has leadership potential, and who are just there for the sake of being there. I'd definitely push for a select few to go in... but there are some that I know that no matter what, at this point of time,they're definitely not slated for leadership in the SC. Maybe in the near future, but at the present moment, they have to hone themselves before anything else can happen.
Alright, that's all... for today... been thinking a lot and too much for my own good... sigh...
I just finished watching "The Lakehouse" and, my goodness, it is one of the sweetest and most touching shows I've watched thus far. Add on "A Walk to Remember", "The Notebook", "ElizabethTown", and all my Korean movies, this movie has to stand out as one of the better ones I've seen thus far...
I know I know... I'm really slow, taking like half a year to watch "The Lake House" since it was released ( I can just hear people laughing... :S), but I like to take my time and savour all these shows... u know, letting the hype of how good a movie it was die away before I take my time to slowly break it down and bask in the romantic ambience of everything. Though yeah, I'm not the one involved in it per se, but it's nice to know and try to think about where the romantic inspiration comes from... and it does give the entire moment a stronger and more real feel... call me a sap, but I really like doing that.
It's been so long also since I last felt like doing something romantic for people, and the amazing thing is, of late, I feel that my romantic tune is playing again... There's that feeling of wanting to do things for people again, and to make the extra effort to make people feel special... It all started when I decided to get the "Hugs for Teachers" books for Wei Lin, Ps Bel and YanXi, and then subsequently birthday presents for Yi Wei and Adeline, and then the individual hp chains for my angels. And of course, re attempting to write poetry when I wrote one for Valentine's Day inspired by the V-Day poetry challenge, but I didn't submit my entry in the end. Haha.. lame right?
Okay, in any case, I'm quite glad for the fact that I have this huge break. As much as I'm going to miss my kids because I won't be able to see them for close to 1 week, but I think the distance will give me some time to do some reflection and thinking... especially so about how I want to approach my lessons, and also re-assess myself as a teacher. I think I have renewed vigour this week... especially after that talk with Joel, after having gone through Fiesta with 1D, after having received the letter for my course at MOE, and most importantly, because of all my quiet time with God through reading the Bible, prayers, and also "Hugs for teachers". Honestly speaking, I never expected "Hugs for teachers" to be so accurate in all their chapters... they seem to know what happens when... and the chapters seem to be so aptly placed... because at a point when I felt very desolate and in need of some sort of encouragement, I found it when I opened that book. They understand the challenges that teachers go through... and they too seem to know when we need it...
I think it's becoming increasingly difficult to find perspective at the moment... and for some reason, I'm immersing myself in work... or trying to immerse myself in work. Because I can seriously tell you that when I don't, my thoughts start to wander and I end up seriously wondering where life's going to take me in a few years' time. (Yes Jacob, I know what you're thinking about, after we had that discussion), and most importantly, my outlook on life then. I think I'm going to be a stubborn, self-opinionated and adamant guy in the future... and I told Gayne that. And I was so touched when she said "Well, you keep praying that you don't inherit those traits. Plus, I'm sure I'd tell you if you ever became like that." Haha, it's nice to know you have friends like these... Gayne has been a wonderful blessing to me... haha... She's always there, and never afraid to tell me what she thinks, even if it means a major dent on my ego. Hahaha... but that's why Gayne's special and one of my closest friends about. She's definitely not fake.
Realised a lot of people are going away for exchange... Dom, Pris, Kyle.. and especially so, after I met Jenna today, that I realised that it's a lot on personal effort to keep in touch with everyone. And I think that's one of my objectives this year... especially since Pris and Kyle are going off for one entire year! Sigh... the older we grow, the less time we have, the more we realise we need friends. And for me? An increasing need to hold on dearly to all my memories.
Fiesta @ BNSS was a blast... I really enjoyed working with 1D, and I bonded specifically with Am, Shyn Yee, YongJun and Asyiqin. I also managed to see who has leadership potential, and who are just there for the sake of being there. I'd definitely push for a select few to go in... but there are some that I know that no matter what, at this point of time,they're definitely not slated for leadership in the SC. Maybe in the near future, but at the present moment, they have to hone themselves before anything else can happen.
Alright, that's all... for today... been thinking a lot and too much for my own good... sigh...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Dear Mandy,
How oft it seems that fatigue can make one lose his mind. In the case of myself, I become hyperactive, and perhaps, in the case of today, went overboard with my teasing and sarcasm. But I guess that that's no excuse to begin with, because as a teacher, and a 20 year old, I ought to have more control over myself and my actions. But that's otherwise said as well... I'm beginning to wonder where the line stands you know? The line of where I need to watch where I should refrain myself from saying or doing too much lest I become inappropriate as a teacher... I wonder.
I guess for too often until now, I've been trying to control my actions, that in moments of craziness, I go totally overboard and become what they term, hyperactive... either that, or I've been working and immersing myself into my studies or CCA too much, that when I have a chance to let loose, I just go totally and completely bonkers. But now, as a soon to be adult, I guess I have to be more reserved, more disciplined, more strict and more mindful of the things I do. *Well, too bad for my students then... this MAY just be the new me... *
Today, I kinda pissed off 2 of my 1D Angels. One of them was cause I teased her too much about a boyfriend that's not exactly her boyfriend, and the other was cause he wanted me to help him solve a problem that was not within my scope and capacity to do so. So, I became rather sarcastic and overbearing on him, and I think he lost his cool in the end... I know I ought to feel sorry for what I've done, especially to him, but in a weird sense, I think that though I should be less sarcastic, but I feel that I was right in doing what I did. I cannot afford to please everyone, and especially not so when students become over reliant and start becoming overly dependent. Ok, so I will watch my language and my sharp words, but I should also look at certain traits that I wanna inculcate in my students while I still can.
The fun fair at BNSS is coming soon, and seriously, I was disappointed in my kids when a certain new restriction on their water game let me see clearly the attitudes and characters of a group of my students. Why I'm disappointed, I shan't say. But it clearly let me know that leadership is still a distance away for them, and in general, my class as well. Honing them will take time, but though there are potentials, let's just say that it's still early and that I'll need to see things out. But no matter what, I still am very thankful to God for having let me take this class. I think they're not bad, and a good class.
Leadership... It seemed that today is a day for talking and observing about leadership. I started the day with a discussion on leadership with Adeline, and it did bring me back to days of being a leader. In VS, in VJC and in the army, before I realised that at the moment, I'm still very much a leader, just in a different respite. Because instead of leading, I'm guiding. And that is much harder than before, but I also realised that I enjoy and like what I'm doing. I told Jacob this yesterday "Teaching. It became more of an anticipation than a job." And I realised that it's quite true. I look forward to each day, even if I slept late the night before, even if the day before was rotten because of a class I took, or even so much so as that the day before was a long day, I still look forward to teaching. And it soon dawned upon me that it's become a passion, and not a chore.
Amazing how God works, doesn't it? I'm still constantly in awe of all that He has done and told me... Praise God for his guiding light!
How oft it seems that fatigue can make one lose his mind. In the case of myself, I become hyperactive, and perhaps, in the case of today, went overboard with my teasing and sarcasm. But I guess that that's no excuse to begin with, because as a teacher, and a 20 year old, I ought to have more control over myself and my actions. But that's otherwise said as well... I'm beginning to wonder where the line stands you know? The line of where I need to watch where I should refrain myself from saying or doing too much lest I become inappropriate as a teacher... I wonder.
I guess for too often until now, I've been trying to control my actions, that in moments of craziness, I go totally overboard and become what they term, hyperactive... either that, or I've been working and immersing myself into my studies or CCA too much, that when I have a chance to let loose, I just go totally and completely bonkers. But now, as a soon to be adult, I guess I have to be more reserved, more disciplined, more strict and more mindful of the things I do. *Well, too bad for my students then... this MAY just be the new me... *
Today, I kinda pissed off 2 of my 1D Angels. One of them was cause I teased her too much about a boyfriend that's not exactly her boyfriend, and the other was cause he wanted me to help him solve a problem that was not within my scope and capacity to do so. So, I became rather sarcastic and overbearing on him, and I think he lost his cool in the end... I know I ought to feel sorry for what I've done, especially to him, but in a weird sense, I think that though I should be less sarcastic, but I feel that I was right in doing what I did. I cannot afford to please everyone, and especially not so when students become over reliant and start becoming overly dependent. Ok, so I will watch my language and my sharp words, but I should also look at certain traits that I wanna inculcate in my students while I still can.
The fun fair at BNSS is coming soon, and seriously, I was disappointed in my kids when a certain new restriction on their water game let me see clearly the attitudes and characters of a group of my students. Why I'm disappointed, I shan't say. But it clearly let me know that leadership is still a distance away for them, and in general, my class as well. Honing them will take time, but though there are potentials, let's just say that it's still early and that I'll need to see things out. But no matter what, I still am very thankful to God for having let me take this class. I think they're not bad, and a good class.
Leadership... It seemed that today is a day for talking and observing about leadership. I started the day with a discussion on leadership with Adeline, and it did bring me back to days of being a leader. In VS, in VJC and in the army, before I realised that at the moment, I'm still very much a leader, just in a different respite. Because instead of leading, I'm guiding. And that is much harder than before, but I also realised that I enjoy and like what I'm doing. I told Jacob this yesterday "Teaching. It became more of an anticipation than a job." And I realised that it's quite true. I look forward to each day, even if I slept late the night before, even if the day before was rotten because of a class I took, or even so much so as that the day before was a long day, I still look forward to teaching. And it soon dawned upon me that it's become a passion, and not a chore.
Amazing how God works, doesn't it? I'm still constantly in awe of all that He has done and told me... Praise God for his guiding light!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Dear Mandy,
Well, it's been another week, but in the last few days, I've been pretty tired out, and very very often, I could only just lie in bed at night, wondering what it is that I've gotten myself into. I also found myself being very very lost, and many a time, i just wished that there was a hug I could have from someone that would make me feel better. I turned to God many a time in prayer and in the Bible, and these last few days, reading the chapters on the book of Matthew, it seemed that each day, God would give me a subject title that would really make my day in school seem much much better, because it gave me something to turn to. Like on Tuesday, God imposed upon me this passage:
Matthew Chapter 11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
It struck me then that I really was tired, and needed much rest.. and that really really helped me throughout the day... because that very day, I was applied as an administrative assistant, who just had to do a lot of typing, and honestly speaking, it was, I realised, the first time I had no lessons, and was relatively free! But then again, typing took its toll on me as I attempted to speed type and managed to complete typing out 6 worksheets before feeling the fatigue. Praise God for his grace and mercy!
But as the days wore on, and I returned to teaching, it somehow struck me that I was still missing something... I was emotionally lacking in something. It didn't help that the next few days, I was very very involved in doing the planning for Victorians' Day, and my days in school were filled with periods of covering for teachers who were absent, or due to O level result release. I had as little as 6 periods a day, and as much as 11 periods a day, noting that a day only has 11 periods for lower sec and 13 for upper sec... and though I was my normal, happy self, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness when I look at the students... and I didn't really know why...
Friday was Yi Wei's birthday, also the most hectic day of the week in school thus far. Yi Wei is this Sec 3 Councillor who I think has a lot of potential, and she, together with Adeline, are 2 councillors I hope can make it into the SC Exco. So anyway, I spent the day running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and found out that there were a lot of discrepancies and administrative breakdown due to O level result release. I finally spent the last lesson in 3D, explaining mathematics to a guy, before I had the chance to read Yi Wei's personal account of an incident. Discovered her English is pretty broken, and Adeline also had voiced out to Yue Woon I think that the reading material I gave her was quite deep. So I decided to get a book for Yi Wei to READ. Cause I kinda deduced she either doesn't read enough or she reads the wrong kind of books.
On Thurs night, the OVA meeting, I voiced out that I cannot be the OIC for the Alumni Dinner because of myb pending exams, but they didn't seem to wanna let me off... sigh... But they'll discuss next week if they can change the IC to someone else. The meeting that day went awfully well... I really was happy that we started to shoot out our doubts and ideas, and we even despite everything, realised that student involvement was quite tied up by Mr. Kho, so we were much more ahead in our planning then we knew. The meeting ended on a high... and I thanked God profusely for giving me such a wonderful committee as well as a good meeting.
On Saturday morning, we had a meeting to finalise the planning stage details, and Praise God when we managed to find the CT Council Chairman to get all the details done! And after that, I had time to see the soccer boys play the old boys, where the old boys won 2-1. Then I also met Suzanne, and had a good chat with her. Also met up with Jacob's cousin! Before we met up with Edrei at Parkway.
We spent a good 3hours together... Jacob, me and Edrei, and we talked about a lot a lot of things. From council, to toilet sessions to our juniors... just reminiscing about the past. And the nostalgic mood probably carried forward when we met up with Joel and gang for Joel's birthday celebration. Sanjay, Sanjiv, Siva, Edrei, Deepak, Samuel, Jacob, Joel, Sara, Hui Yi, Hui Zhi and I just kept talking and talking, and a lot of secrets came out along the way, or rather, things we had never talked about. Sigh... I really missed my Council... and I can't put into words how I felt, but I was awfully awfully happy.
I went to tribe BBQ after that, only to launch immediately into a game of charades... haha... it was quite fun... acting out the whole topic on movies... :) I had fun. Then the BBQ went into full swing... we talked a lot and told lots of lame jokes here and there... haha... then we had the dessert making competition, which was a bit disgusting, but was a fair showing of our creativity. Andrew and I were the respective crappers for our teams, and we crapped well, to say the least. But full credit to Andrew's team for their creativity. :P
After that, I actually had a chat with Joel, and what started as being weary with all the Victorians' Day planning, eventually resulted in a revelation to why I've been feeling so lost. It became an unhappiness for being unable to do enough for the students to make their lives better in school, to prevent their information overload. I also wondered if I wanted to really be part of MOE, because I didn't agree with some of the policies and programmes that they were implementing. And most of all, I started to wonder if I was even cut out to be a teacher to begin with in the first place. And Joel helped set me straight. Firstly, he said that I had to pace myself. And then, he told me that we cannot change policies, but we can make changes to people's lives as a teacher. It's not so much changing a whole generation perse? But it's making changes to every individual... Be it the student pool, or eventually, the teacher pool, it's about touching individuals.. and making a difference to one person. It's somewhat similar to the story about the starfish... about how this guy throws starfish back to the sea. Even though there's like a million starfish, the guy is only concerned with making as much of a difference as he can. And Joel showed me that, to me, I may have only said a couple of things, but to the person I said them to, I may have indirectly impacted their lives. And lastly.... that God placed me there for a reason... and I realised that I had lost the view of the big picture. I started out wanting to be a teacher who can make a difference and also let my students achieve good grades. When did I lose sight of that? I wonder... But when Joel spoke to me, I felt released... as I finally found the reasons why I felt so lost. But my heart really felt refreshed and joyous when Joel prayed for me... It was a good way to end the day...
Of course, when Man U won Charlton 2-0, it had become the icing on the top of the cake.
Today, during Post Encounter, I smsed Shuxin, because she said she felt emotional... and amazingly, God spoke to me. In my notes, the words "Seek Counsel" and "Do not be hasty to act" immediately jumped out at me when Shuxin told me she was torn in a decision, and I told her to take more time and not rush a decision... God spoke to me, and I was really amazed that God answered my doubts so quickly! Praise God!
In today's service, it spoke to me... I needed emotional healing, but I didn't go to the altar to kneel down. Because I knew that I had experienced it yesterday with Joel, but it did strike me to remember Suzanne, and I guess God is prompting me to pray for her tonight. And until then, I will work hard and constantly remember the big picture I've painted for myself.
To God be the Glory!
Well, it's been another week, but in the last few days, I've been pretty tired out, and very very often, I could only just lie in bed at night, wondering what it is that I've gotten myself into. I also found myself being very very lost, and many a time, i just wished that there was a hug I could have from someone that would make me feel better. I turned to God many a time in prayer and in the Bible, and these last few days, reading the chapters on the book of Matthew, it seemed that each day, God would give me a subject title that would really make my day in school seem much much better, because it gave me something to turn to. Like on Tuesday, God imposed upon me this passage:
Matthew Chapter 11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
It struck me then that I really was tired, and needed much rest.. and that really really helped me throughout the day... because that very day, I was applied as an administrative assistant, who just had to do a lot of typing, and honestly speaking, it was, I realised, the first time I had no lessons, and was relatively free! But then again, typing took its toll on me as I attempted to speed type and managed to complete typing out 6 worksheets before feeling the fatigue. Praise God for his grace and mercy!
But as the days wore on, and I returned to teaching, it somehow struck me that I was still missing something... I was emotionally lacking in something. It didn't help that the next few days, I was very very involved in doing the planning for Victorians' Day, and my days in school were filled with periods of covering for teachers who were absent, or due to O level result release. I had as little as 6 periods a day, and as much as 11 periods a day, noting that a day only has 11 periods for lower sec and 13 for upper sec... and though I was my normal, happy self, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness when I look at the students... and I didn't really know why...
Friday was Yi Wei's birthday, also the most hectic day of the week in school thus far. Yi Wei is this Sec 3 Councillor who I think has a lot of potential, and she, together with Adeline, are 2 councillors I hope can make it into the SC Exco. So anyway, I spent the day running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and found out that there were a lot of discrepancies and administrative breakdown due to O level result release. I finally spent the last lesson in 3D, explaining mathematics to a guy, before I had the chance to read Yi Wei's personal account of an incident. Discovered her English is pretty broken, and Adeline also had voiced out to Yue Woon I think that the reading material I gave her was quite deep. So I decided to get a book for Yi Wei to READ. Cause I kinda deduced she either doesn't read enough or she reads the wrong kind of books.
On Thurs night, the OVA meeting, I voiced out that I cannot be the OIC for the Alumni Dinner because of myb pending exams, but they didn't seem to wanna let me off... sigh... But they'll discuss next week if they can change the IC to someone else. The meeting that day went awfully well... I really was happy that we started to shoot out our doubts and ideas, and we even despite everything, realised that student involvement was quite tied up by Mr. Kho, so we were much more ahead in our planning then we knew. The meeting ended on a high... and I thanked God profusely for giving me such a wonderful committee as well as a good meeting.
On Saturday morning, we had a meeting to finalise the planning stage details, and Praise God when we managed to find the CT Council Chairman to get all the details done! And after that, I had time to see the soccer boys play the old boys, where the old boys won 2-1. Then I also met Suzanne, and had a good chat with her. Also met up with Jacob's cousin! Before we met up with Edrei at Parkway.
We spent a good 3hours together... Jacob, me and Edrei, and we talked about a lot a lot of things. From council, to toilet sessions to our juniors... just reminiscing about the past. And the nostalgic mood probably carried forward when we met up with Joel and gang for Joel's birthday celebration. Sanjay, Sanjiv, Siva, Edrei, Deepak, Samuel, Jacob, Joel, Sara, Hui Yi, Hui Zhi and I just kept talking and talking, and a lot of secrets came out along the way, or rather, things we had never talked about. Sigh... I really missed my Council... and I can't put into words how I felt, but I was awfully awfully happy.
I went to tribe BBQ after that, only to launch immediately into a game of charades... haha... it was quite fun... acting out the whole topic on movies... :) I had fun. Then the BBQ went into full swing... we talked a lot and told lots of lame jokes here and there... haha... then we had the dessert making competition, which was a bit disgusting, but was a fair showing of our creativity. Andrew and I were the respective crappers for our teams, and we crapped well, to say the least. But full credit to Andrew's team for their creativity. :P
After that, I actually had a chat with Joel, and what started as being weary with all the Victorians' Day planning, eventually resulted in a revelation to why I've been feeling so lost. It became an unhappiness for being unable to do enough for the students to make their lives better in school, to prevent their information overload. I also wondered if I wanted to really be part of MOE, because I didn't agree with some of the policies and programmes that they were implementing. And most of all, I started to wonder if I was even cut out to be a teacher to begin with in the first place. And Joel helped set me straight. Firstly, he said that I had to pace myself. And then, he told me that we cannot change policies, but we can make changes to people's lives as a teacher. It's not so much changing a whole generation perse? But it's making changes to every individual... Be it the student pool, or eventually, the teacher pool, it's about touching individuals.. and making a difference to one person. It's somewhat similar to the story about the starfish... about how this guy throws starfish back to the sea. Even though there's like a million starfish, the guy is only concerned with making as much of a difference as he can. And Joel showed me that, to me, I may have only said a couple of things, but to the person I said them to, I may have indirectly impacted their lives. And lastly.... that God placed me there for a reason... and I realised that I had lost the view of the big picture. I started out wanting to be a teacher who can make a difference and also let my students achieve good grades. When did I lose sight of that? I wonder... But when Joel spoke to me, I felt released... as I finally found the reasons why I felt so lost. But my heart really felt refreshed and joyous when Joel prayed for me... It was a good way to end the day...
Of course, when Man U won Charlton 2-0, it had become the icing on the top of the cake.
Today, during Post Encounter, I smsed Shuxin, because she said she felt emotional... and amazingly, God spoke to me. In my notes, the words "Seek Counsel" and "Do not be hasty to act" immediately jumped out at me when Shuxin told me she was torn in a decision, and I told her to take more time and not rush a decision... God spoke to me, and I was really amazed that God answered my doubts so quickly! Praise God!
In today's service, it spoke to me... I needed emotional healing, but I didn't go to the altar to kneel down. Because I knew that I had experienced it yesterday with Joel, but it did strike me to remember Suzanne, and I guess God is prompting me to pray for her tonight. And until then, I will work hard and constantly remember the big picture I've painted for myself.
To God be the Glory!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Dear Mandy,
Just decided to randomly throw thoughts in at the moment... Looking at how things are at the moment, I know that I have every reason to be contented... but for some funny reason, I feel kinda empty... Hmm...
I gotta be honest, I'm really happy that my lovely angels from 1D have grown to like Mdm Tan. I honestly think Mdm Tan is a good teacher and one who will ensure that the discipline of the class and their maths grades will be of a certain standard. But I cannot deny it. I miss teaching the class. :) Being on Russian Roulette now doesn't really serve much of a purpose to me, but today, teaching chinese was a step closer to what I wish I could do. But I know that this is still an experience, and one that will be beneficial to my development to become a teacher, so I'm not complaining. I still have yet to find a reason to complain about my job at the moment, and I'm honestly thankful to God for having given me such an opportunity.
The Victorians' Day planning is going smoothly, and I must say, I'm encouraged by certain members of the committee... they really give me strength, and I thank God every day for these dedicated and committed personnel. Oh wellll.. haha... we're Victorian what... explains a lot of things...
Been spending more and more time as quiet time nowadays... setting it as every morning before I go for morning assembly, before I start work. I'll take time to read a chapter from the Bible, then take down some notes, then pray about it. And the thing is, I find that God speaks to me from the Bible... sure, He speaks to me sometimes in solitude and in prayer, but I find that the Bible tells me things. Phrases and words just jump out at me from the passages, and I find myself feeling more and more in awe of God's wondrous presence...
Okay, off to write my Valentine's Day poem... :)
Just decided to randomly throw thoughts in at the moment... Looking at how things are at the moment, I know that I have every reason to be contented... but for some funny reason, I feel kinda empty... Hmm...
I gotta be honest, I'm really happy that my lovely angels from 1D have grown to like Mdm Tan. I honestly think Mdm Tan is a good teacher and one who will ensure that the discipline of the class and their maths grades will be of a certain standard. But I cannot deny it. I miss teaching the class. :) Being on Russian Roulette now doesn't really serve much of a purpose to me, but today, teaching chinese was a step closer to what I wish I could do. But I know that this is still an experience, and one that will be beneficial to my development to become a teacher, so I'm not complaining. I still have yet to find a reason to complain about my job at the moment, and I'm honestly thankful to God for having given me such an opportunity.
The Victorians' Day planning is going smoothly, and I must say, I'm encouraged by certain members of the committee... they really give me strength, and I thank God every day for these dedicated and committed personnel. Oh wellll.. haha... we're Victorian what... explains a lot of things...
Been spending more and more time as quiet time nowadays... setting it as every morning before I go for morning assembly, before I start work. I'll take time to read a chapter from the Bible, then take down some notes, then pray about it. And the thing is, I find that God speaks to me from the Bible... sure, He speaks to me sometimes in solitude and in prayer, but I find that the Bible tells me things. Phrases and words just jump out at me from the passages, and I find myself feeling more and more in awe of God's wondrous presence...
Okay, off to write my Valentine's Day poem... :)
S Club 7 - Say Goodbye
This song is just to all the friends that I've said farewell to in the past... Though we're all on our separate ways at the moment, please note that you're still somewhere in my heart... Take care... :)
This song is just to all the friends that I've said farewell to in the past... Though we're all on our separate ways at the moment, please note that you're still somewhere in my heart... Take care... :)
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Dear Mandy,
"Passage Deuteronomy 8:3-5:
3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you."
Yesterday was the last day of the sanctification week's messages, and the above passage was by and far the most impactful. But then again, this was one of the services whereby I felt that I was once again humbled by God, and brought to come to the harsh reality of the fact that, hey, I may have been neglecting Him even though I think that I'm not.
The worship segment was really more strong than normal. We started off with "One Way" and "King of Majesty" for the fast paced songs. It was rather refreshing to see Ps Eugene dancing on stage and rallying us like we were being warmed up for a concert, which I came to realise later, that it was a preparation for an audience with God. The slow songs however, were stronger and exceptionally meaningful... we sang "How Great is our God" before we transited to "Run to You"... I've always thought that "How Great is our God" is a very powerful ministry piece of music, but I never expected to feel that awesome presence of our God when it was merged with "Run to You"... it seemed to speak to me... and there and then, I could sense that today's message is going to come across very strongly, and there and then, I prayed that God would keep my heart tender and receptive to whatever was going to be said.
The ovation that we gave after the worship and praise was resounding and never ending. It kinda resembled the Kallang Wave at the National Stadium last Wed... the sea that kept pushing forth... and then, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for each other the chorus of "Run to You". Victor Ong and I just prayed for each other and then, we began the message for the day.
Ps Eugene talked about his revelations after coming back from the International G12 conference in Colombia, and specifically, he spoke of supernatural formation and Word passion. He also mentioned National transformation, but he ran out of time before he could even touch on that.
For supernatural formation, Ps Eugene believed that our walk with God is almost always a supernatural journey. And what touched me was that, to Him, we are always Work in Progress. Even if we are like, 50 years old, God is still beginning to form in us a great altar to serve Him, and to be a great blessing to others. If I thought that so far it was impacful enough, imagine how the congregation felt when Ps Eugene started on not forgetting God. God's work, as Ps Eugene said, is to test us and know what is in our hearts. And as we grow spiritually in Him, or hearts form a new understanding of who He is, and our faith in Him would grow. Personally, that applies very much to me, as the more I grow in my spiritual journey, the more I believe in God. And as such, we should set our hearts to seek God, and hat was when Deuteronomy 8:3-5 was read to us, and this particular passage teaches us that men does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. This is a life long lesson... and one I'm glad I heard.
For word passion, it touched on how the hidden meanings of scripture in the Bible actually gives life. The Bible holds all the answers to all our hidden problems, and that was when Ps Eugene shared on personal devotional life. And that was when he told us about Ps Richard, who would always find food from scripture before he has his meals. He constantly searched and maintained his covenant with God. The wonders of Agape love! Haha... but then, imagine the silence of the entire TC when Ps Eugene said this: God is telling you "I miss you." It struck me... that when we move away from God, being preoccupied with the hassles of everyday life and work, when we finally come back to be reconciled with God, all God says is "I've been waiting for you. I miss you." Wow.
After that, Ps Eugene asked us to bring our Bibles and come forward to the altar to kneel before God and make a commitment to Him... I took a split second before I moved out of my pew. I was joined by Victor Sim and after a short while, Alicia. Haha... so we went forward, knelt down and started to make our promises to God. I prayed to Him, that where I'm not strong, I will find strength from the Word and in Him, and that I would start progressively to make more time for God, and finally make it a habit. Starting from reading the Bible and praying before lunch, and gradually increasing it until I do it for all three meals. I know that God will be there, and He is holding me to my promise to Him. I pray that these will not be empty promises, and I know I have to put in effort to make it happen. I know I can through Him.
After our personal commitments, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for those around us, so Victor, Alicia and I formed a threesome and started praying. Victor started off, and he prayed about us hungering for the Word, and not to forget God... Alicia took over, and she prayed that God will watch over us. I didn't know what I was going to pray about, so I just let my heart take over and I spewed words of prayer out easily, like as though I had been doing it for eons. I prayed and felt a strong emotion welling up inside of me. It was that of gratitude, and of fervour. It was one of promise and optimism for the future. I think God is telling me He believes I can do it... and I know that I want to.
I remembered saying this "Dear Father, let us not forget you in all that we do. May the rising sun each day remind us of your grace and your light. And when the sun sets each day and the night comes. May the twinkling stars remind us of Your Angels working tirelessly throughout the night. Help us to remember, and that we will turn to You in everything we do. To share our joys, our sadness with you." Even I was awed by what I was saying... amazing, isn't it?
After service, JB Tribe met and Ps Jimmy and Ps Belinda shared on their own experiences, and I found myself thankful for these 2 wonderful pastors. For they were honest in telling us their experiences, and they didn't hide anything. And then the sharing by Serene, Felicia and Lynette, before we closed in prayer... It was an impactful night, definitely...
Victorians' Day planning has been progressing smoothly, and as we transit into the execution stage, I start trying to be more optimistic and integrated in the planning. I have a good committee, but I'm starting to see the fact that a lot of reality checks are in store. Not just for myself, but also for my members. Both personally and situationally... well, I pray that we will pull off a successful Victorians' Day... I really do.
"Passage Deuteronomy 8:3-5:
3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you."
Yesterday was the last day of the sanctification week's messages, and the above passage was by and far the most impactful. But then again, this was one of the services whereby I felt that I was once again humbled by God, and brought to come to the harsh reality of the fact that, hey, I may have been neglecting Him even though I think that I'm not.
The worship segment was really more strong than normal. We started off with "One Way" and "King of Majesty" for the fast paced songs. It was rather refreshing to see Ps Eugene dancing on stage and rallying us like we were being warmed up for a concert, which I came to realise later, that it was a preparation for an audience with God. The slow songs however, were stronger and exceptionally meaningful... we sang "How Great is our God" before we transited to "Run to You"... I've always thought that "How Great is our God" is a very powerful ministry piece of music, but I never expected to feel that awesome presence of our God when it was merged with "Run to You"... it seemed to speak to me... and there and then, I could sense that today's message is going to come across very strongly, and there and then, I prayed that God would keep my heart tender and receptive to whatever was going to be said.
The ovation that we gave after the worship and praise was resounding and never ending. It kinda resembled the Kallang Wave at the National Stadium last Wed... the sea that kept pushing forth... and then, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for each other the chorus of "Run to You". Victor Ong and I just prayed for each other and then, we began the message for the day.
Ps Eugene talked about his revelations after coming back from the International G12 conference in Colombia, and specifically, he spoke of supernatural formation and Word passion. He also mentioned National transformation, but he ran out of time before he could even touch on that.
For supernatural formation, Ps Eugene believed that our walk with God is almost always a supernatural journey. And what touched me was that, to Him, we are always Work in Progress. Even if we are like, 50 years old, God is still beginning to form in us a great altar to serve Him, and to be a great blessing to others. If I thought that so far it was impacful enough, imagine how the congregation felt when Ps Eugene started on not forgetting God. God's work, as Ps Eugene said, is to test us and know what is in our hearts. And as we grow spiritually in Him, or hearts form a new understanding of who He is, and our faith in Him would grow. Personally, that applies very much to me, as the more I grow in my spiritual journey, the more I believe in God. And as such, we should set our hearts to seek God, and hat was when Deuteronomy 8:3-5 was read to us, and this particular passage teaches us that men does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. This is a life long lesson... and one I'm glad I heard.
For word passion, it touched on how the hidden meanings of scripture in the Bible actually gives life. The Bible holds all the answers to all our hidden problems, and that was when Ps Eugene shared on personal devotional life. And that was when he told us about Ps Richard, who would always find food from scripture before he has his meals. He constantly searched and maintained his covenant with God. The wonders of Agape love! Haha... but then, imagine the silence of the entire TC when Ps Eugene said this: God is telling you "I miss you." It struck me... that when we move away from God, being preoccupied with the hassles of everyday life and work, when we finally come back to be reconciled with God, all God says is "I've been waiting for you. I miss you." Wow.
After that, Ps Eugene asked us to bring our Bibles and come forward to the altar to kneel before God and make a commitment to Him... I took a split second before I moved out of my pew. I was joined by Victor Sim and after a short while, Alicia. Haha... so we went forward, knelt down and started to make our promises to God. I prayed to Him, that where I'm not strong, I will find strength from the Word and in Him, and that I would start progressively to make more time for God, and finally make it a habit. Starting from reading the Bible and praying before lunch, and gradually increasing it until I do it for all three meals. I know that God will be there, and He is holding me to my promise to Him. I pray that these will not be empty promises, and I know I have to put in effort to make it happen. I know I can through Him.
After our personal commitments, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for those around us, so Victor, Alicia and I formed a threesome and started praying. Victor started off, and he prayed about us hungering for the Word, and not to forget God... Alicia took over, and she prayed that God will watch over us. I didn't know what I was going to pray about, so I just let my heart take over and I spewed words of prayer out easily, like as though I had been doing it for eons. I prayed and felt a strong emotion welling up inside of me. It was that of gratitude, and of fervour. It was one of promise and optimism for the future. I think God is telling me He believes I can do it... and I know that I want to.
I remembered saying this "Dear Father, let us not forget you in all that we do. May the rising sun each day remind us of your grace and your light. And when the sun sets each day and the night comes. May the twinkling stars remind us of Your Angels working tirelessly throughout the night. Help us to remember, and that we will turn to You in everything we do. To share our joys, our sadness with you." Even I was awed by what I was saying... amazing, isn't it?
After service, JB Tribe met and Ps Jimmy and Ps Belinda shared on their own experiences, and I found myself thankful for these 2 wonderful pastors. For they were honest in telling us their experiences, and they didn't hide anything. And then the sharing by Serene, Felicia and Lynette, before we closed in prayer... It was an impactful night, definitely...
Victorians' Day planning has been progressing smoothly, and as we transit into the execution stage, I start trying to be more optimistic and integrated in the planning. I have a good committee, but I'm starting to see the fact that a lot of reality checks are in store. Not just for myself, but also for my members. Both personally and situationally... well, I pray that we will pull off a successful Victorians' Day... I really do.
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