Dear Mandy,

Merry Christmas!!

I find it quite warm and snuggly inside always during this season... So much so that as I listen to Christmas songs, and the rain falls outside? I start to imagine that they're snowflakes instead. And that kind of makes all the difference. =)

Isn't it amazing how in the coldest time of the year, Jesus was born? Almost as if it's a symbolic thing, that He would come in the coldest, darkest time, to give us hope and guide our path.

Love, actually, is what Christmas is all about. =)

Dear Mandy,


And so I finished watching Personal Taste... a total of 16 episodes, and I have to admit, this Korean drama really was more engaging to me than "Only You". Certain episodes of "Only You" I fast forwarded cause it was really boring, but for Personal Taste, I watched it till the end, cringing whenever In Hee or Chang Ryul tried to break up Kae In and Jin Ho... ahha.. will explain about the actors in a bit.

Well, the synopsis goes like this: Jin Ho is an architect, whose family went broke because of Chang Ryul's father, and so they have been at loggerheads ever since. In Hee and Kae In are roomies in the really wonderful house that Kae In's father build: Samgojang. The show starts with Kae In, a carpentress, dating Chang Ryul, only for him to break up with her, because he had been double timing Kae In with In Hee. They are about to get married when a bewildered and shocked Kae In unwittingly steps in and breaks up the wedding. Jin Ho, on the other hand, finds out that Samgojang is the basis on which this huge project for an art museum is banking on. And so, through a series of misfit events, he moves into Samgojang and starts an unlikely friendship with Kae In, who thinks that he is gay.



Well, one thing leads to another, and Jin Ho and Kae In find themselves falling in love with each other. What complicates matters is that In Hee falls for Jin Ho, and Chang Ryul falls for Kae In again, and so, it becomes a very complicated story that involves Jin Ho's mother, Chang Ryul's father, the director of the art museum project and this woman obsessed with being Jin Ho's wife. There're also a pair of blundering friends known as Yong Soon and "hyung" to all. Haha.. can't remember his name. So it's a series of sweet moments, but sad moments too. I like the ending though. =)


Throughout the show, Kae In would randomly give weather updates, predicting how her mood would be and how tomorrow would be. I especially love the ending quotes:
Kae-in: “It’s not always going to be a life of clear skies. But even if I encounter darkness, if I go with this man I can muster the courage to walk through.”
Jin-ho: “I ran without stopping, but I was always a child running in circles. But I met this woman, and learned that stopping to breathe…could take me farther than I ever knew.”

I think that it's very true. =)
In all situations, I have God to see me through the darkness. And when my rest is in God, I can run farther than ever before.



Perhaps this movie does let me realise that it is possible to have a simple relationship after all. There's no need to complicate things, but as Mother Theresa encourages to "live simply so that others may simply live", perhaps in a relationship, it would also be possible to have it simple too. Though some may say that Korean dramas tend to exaggerate things? But I think that underneath it all, it highlights something. If in a relationship, the couple were honest and trusting, then it would last, wouldn't it? Kae In exemplified this the most. No matter what the circumstance, in the end, she still puts her trust and faith in human relations, and that every human has a soul. Isn't that similar to the unconditional love that God has in us?


A simple show, but one where I learnt a lot. I'd really recommend watching this. =)

Dear Mandy,

Happy Grandparents' day!!

As the 3 days of tumultous events came to an end... One thing is for sure, God's grace and presence was with me throughout. And despite running and executing events and duties, God still made sure I was ministered to, and that there will be breakthrough in my life.


Ask me how I feel right now? I feel like the picture above. A moment of peace, serenity and tranquility, but on the verge of tears, because God is so good, and so awesome. Let me run you through the last few days.

The whole challenge would begin come Friday, but leading up to it was a series of small events and incidents that needed to be completed in order for the weekend to run smoothly. So in addition to attending cell group, I scheduled PT with one of my cell members, and English classes at NYP, I also found myself scheduling short meetings and settling much administration to get things going. Not to mention, I had to milk what I could to study for a maths exams on Saturday.. it wasn't a very fun week to say the least.

But then I think that it is apt that some readings this week was about how suffering draws us closer to Christ, and so I thank God for Thursday, where I was not only able to study for the exam in a great measure, I also met a close sister for an impromptu lunch, and PT with my cell member. All this, and Friday came around.

That's Ming Na (in blue), or who I call Na Na, teaching the youths for the very first event of our GESL Intergenerational Programme. Sulogna (to Ming Na's right) is assisting her, and Kaie See (Ming Na's left), observing the students. While this all seems to be nice, cozy and smooth, behind the scenes, the leaders were scrambling a bit. I was frantically trying to tie down a location for Sunday, while Wei Biao was trying to discuss the possibilities of having some of the youths go later for an event so we can hold the Sunday event at that particular time. Imagine the relief when God came through. The youths could go later, so we had the venue, and it would set the stage for the catering orders to go through, and the house visits.

The youths seemed excited and keen, and I thank God, because He sent the right people to us. And so, we went for lunch. Then, we embarked on our house visits. I really thank God for my GESL team, because they are so committed to the cause. Yee Ying went around despite her heel injury as best she could, and then my members actually went around beyond their own blocks. Two of them even went around to ask people along the streets! That is how committed we are. And I truly thank God for them. But it was exhausting, and so I went to East Coast to study, explaining the picture of the beach. And it was a good session. A chance to relax, and breathe.

Then cell. Danny and Evelyn came, and it was a very fun time for us all. But Danny's word was very impactful, and I believe that it spoke to each and every cell member.

And then, Saturday, the day of my maths exam and BB SG, came.
The paper was ok, manageable, and I trust that God will make a way and pass me.
And then I went to BB SG. It is quite a huge event, being honest, and when I see how SP work, I cannot help, but marvel at their efficiency and creativity in anchoring the project. I ended up being the transportation and auxillary person, but it allowed me to see the bigger picture and scheme of things. But driving around is tiring, and as there was much to do, so we reached service 10 minutes before it began. I parked, and seeing no seats, went upstairs to sit.

The message by PS Eugene was on Extreme Delight.. delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart.. and one part that really spoke to me, was when PS Eugene talked about rejoicing even in our sufferings... and I think I realised just how exhausted physically and mentally I was, and emotionally, I was struggling too, because of the exhaustion. So I decided to humble myself, and asked Irving, sitting beside me, to pray for me.
There was much breakthrough, and indeed, a very apt prayer. It allowed me the peace and confidence to be able to minister to Edwin thereafter, and I thank God for His provision. There was breakthrough for me when I humbled myself to ask Irvin to pray for me, because I think I tend to keep to myself too much sometimes. =) God ministered even in tiredness and busyness. =)

Went home, did some admin, slept, and then woke up early this morning for GESL. I felt God's presence even in QT, and so, headed out from home at 9am. Went to pick up Wei Zhong, and we had breakfast at Burger King. We then headed out for our second round of house visits thereafter, and this time, we had more people, so we split. Some of us went to the coffee shops and residents' corner to ask them to come, and well, the turn out wasn't exactly fantastic, but little did I know what God had in mind.


This is the terrarium the elderly and youth constructed. Ice breakers led by Ming Na and Yee Ying was brilliant! And the terrarium project was also quite good. Definitely there was intergenerational engagement, but also, without a doubt, I also agree that it could have been better. But to see the elderly being so engrossed in building their terrariums, occasionally supporting and suggesting to the youths what they could do. I think it was a very endearing sight! And the high-tea was fantastic as well. Really quite thankful...

Felicia came, and she shared about how she thinks our project meets a certain need and direction that they are thinking about, and she would love to use our project idea. I was quite encouraged. And that was when I knew that our project was definitely something that taught me that it is important to focus on the process; sometimes more than even the outcome.


This turnout despite having house visited 100 over units, would be deemed by many to be a failure. But each of my GESL mates learnt so much through the house visits, and it was a huge step out of comfort zone for us. Actually, Singaporeans have their polite and kind sides too. Sure, they are reserved, but they are kind. But it is difficult to do community projects- that's my 2nd learning point and reflection from this. Without establishing proper rapport and bonds, it would be difficult to engage the people. I was pleasantly touched with the feedback my group came up with though. I think we all have the same heartbeat after seeing the effects of our project.

Felicia's visit made it all the more special for me, because she really took time out of her crazy schedule to come. Really love this sister of mine. =)

Above all, when Felicia shared that today is grandparents' day, I was sitting at LJS having my dinner, and I almost just cried there and then. Because FAMILIES came, not just single elderly, and it was a symbolic celebration for grandparents, wasn't it? So God provided what seemed like a bad result, to become a time of celebration and appreciation.

God is good. So.. at the end of the day...

I saw the power of human emotion.
I saw the tenderness of human relations.
I wept gratefully at the awesomeness of God and His provision.
Amen. =)

Dear Mandy,


I just finished reading "The Wednesday Letters" by Jason F. Wright, and I cried uncontrollably at the end scene (not revealing what it is because it'd be a spoiler".

The technical facts? This is a book that is a surprisingly easy read, and draws you deeper and deeper into a plot. It's fraught with raw human emotion, and yet teaches so many lessons. The language is moderate, very few advanced vocabulary, but the simplicity of the book just lends itself so much more the the simplicity of human emotion. It is raw, it is real, and at the same time, it is a choice.

On to the synopsis.
The story spans the events that happen among the three children of Jack and Laurel Cooper after both died in the same night in each others' arms: one from a heart attack, the other from cancer. And with the packing up and the unfolding of events, they discover that their father wrote to their mother every Wednesday. Every Wednesday, he would write, recapping, recalling, reflecting, and in most letters, tenderly expressing how much Laurel means to him, and how much God works in him so that he can be a better man and a better husband. This shocked their children, for they never knew. Each child discovers the things that their father did for them, and how much each of them mean and are loved by him. There is much healing, much reconciliation, and much tears that come. But with the joy, a hidden secret is revealed. One that rocks the family, one that has them grasping in thin air for something that they never expected nor imagined.

And that's where the lessons come in. It's a book that exemplifies extreme forgiveness and extreme love and humilty- and an unabashed complete abandonment of reliance on God. It's powerful in its own way. You would understand what I mean when you pick up the book and read for yourself, but one thing is for sure. A Godly man will impart Godly values to his children and the people who he leads and interacts with.

I want to be such a person. I really do. Someone who understands that he is constantly learning and growing and being moulded, yet lovingly reflecting the Lord's countenance and grace to others, and inspiring others to do the same. A loving husband, and a loving father, and a loving friend to all. There's indeed so much that I have to learn in this... but I know this much: quoting Malcolm Cooper, the youngest son of the Cooper family:

"I will fail. But I pray you will never give up on me, though I will surely fail again.
More than anything, I pray I will always deserve you."

The Lord will never give up on me. And I pray, someday, I will be married to a woman that I will say the same words to- meaning every word I say.

And I love that the epilogue requires me to open an envelope and read a final letter. =)

Dear Mandy,

Sometimes I wonder if growing up is a good thing. =)

The older one gets, the more one thinks, the more responsibilities one has. It's quite a routine, vicious cycle. 'ere go all the talk about perspective, choices and attitude. But I think the truth is such... we are all entitled to who we decide we are. I can be laid-back, heck care and laze around like a snoop, or I can choose to be anxious, worried and mull over every choice I have to make and essentially missing out on the moment.

Wait. The moment? What moment?

The moment whereby you just throw things to the wind and give your best, knowing that things are in God's hands.

One of the best things I love about being a Christian, is knowing that God provides what He knows is best and sufficient for us. The age-old saying "100% man, 100% God"... and something I read once in Jerry Sittser's book "When God doesn't answer Prayer"... it goes along something like we pray and give our all to God, but we also trust that His plan is the best. We don't hold on tightly expecting God to give us what we ask for, but we ask humbly and trust completely in what the Lord will eventually do. =)

In some sense, it seems like the paradox behind the Lord's Prayer, doesn't it? When we ask the Lord that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, essentially, we ask for His will, not our desires and our wills to be done. =)

And so, as tired and weary as we may get sometimes? I feel that there's more to it than expected, because God knows best. =)

Dear Mandy,

Even as the semester in NIE comes to a close, I find that the recent weeks have truly been quite a revelatory if not apprehensive season. I guess in part to the recent sermons on eXtreme Discipleship, and also the questions that keep going through my mind in addition to the responsibilities that have been increasing, I find myself suddenly thrown a curveball.

"Where is God in all that I do?"

That kind of struck me a bit hard. Because as Tuesday's cell group went, I realised in discussion with a sister in Christ, that when the going gets tough, we run more towards God and the Holy Spirit. But on the contrary, we tend to want to solve the issues and the problems that we face BEFORE we come before God. Meaning... we only turn to God as the end point after everything is done, or when we're at our wits end. But, then again, God wants to be the center of everything that we do. Just in Quiet Time this morning, the Lord told me:

"I am the Alpha and the Omega.. and every other letter in between."

And through it, the Lord seemed to be telling me that I am not just the beginning and the end, but I am also there in every aspect and every part of the journey from your creation to your end. And that really struck me. I started wondering how much of God is in my life- does the Holy Spirit permeate every pore and every page of the book of my life? Chances are, the answer is no. And I really like the call by Danny to pray in tongues every day for 20 minute slots. Rather than setting aside one full hour to pray, which is good, but taking time off in the midst of all the activity to pray for 20 minutes is actually more challenging for me, because it means that I cannot really draw up a plan in my regular 1 hour blocks that I do. I force myself to put God in my on-the-spot plans, rather than just my daily routine plan.

Which brings me to the revelation that I had this morning... (It feels like a thesis!! So excited!!) Now, as what God has said, He is not just the Alpha and the Omega, but every other letter in between. So, in essence, this is a fluid paradigm that can be applied in many different areas. Let me give an example:
A church has a beginning (when it is founded), and an end (maybe apocalypse), and in between, there are many chapters. Perhaps the milestone marker of its growth, or when it expands from being a local church to one that sends missionaries. That is the common directional growth of the church, and God should be in every aspect of its growth.
And then, there are the individual members of the church. Each member too has their own beginning (their creation) and their end (death), and all the growing up that takes place in the development of one's life. This is their own individual journey.
Does it not show how awesome our God is? He loves each of us so dearly, that He cares about each development of individual lives, and also, about institutions, countries and the World. That is how much God loves us, and that is how detailed He is about our development and our lives.


Jesus loves me, us, you and the World, just the way I/we am/are.
That's... how amazing our God is. =)

^"13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
-Psalm 139:13-14

And then I came across this in Philip Yancey's "Grace Notes", which is the reading for today.
And that was the 2nd question God threw me today: "If I know that God loves me so much, then what should I do for Him?" And this reading answers it succinctly.

And so, I prayed. =)

Dear Mandy,


If anything, Code Blue is a wonderful show. This is one of the fastest shows this year that I've ever cleared... I started Episode 1 last Tuesday? And I just finished watching Episode 8 this morning. My goodness... But it's a very real thing. And as I watch the intern doctors go about struggling with balancing their lives with their fears and the situations around them, I can't help but think that it resonates so much with life and also, the responsibilities of being a teacher.

Just a description of what Code Blue is all about. Yamashita Tomohisa (Yamapi) plays Kosaku Aizawa. A calm, emotionless intern who is the most stable of the interns. Aragaki Yui plays Megumi Shiraishi: a gentle, endearing intern who is the most knowledgeable. Erika Toda plays Mihoko Miyama: a more headstrong woman, but with soft spots for her patients. Asari Yousuke plays Kazuo Fujikawa: a hyperactive, bumbling intern who strikes good relationships with his patients. Higa Manami plays Saejima Haruka: a flight nurse who is methodological, but carries many bad hurts. These 5 are the main people in the drama, with other seasoned doctors like Dr. Mitsui, Dr. Kuroda and Dr. Takashi who try to make their keep. They are all doctors at Shohoku University Hospital as Emergency Medical Service staff. They are trained to be emergency helicopter doctors, activated by a call, and shipped off to the location by a helicopter, and they have to react on the spot. There is no time for emotions, no time for pauses, and no room for mistakes.

And it isn't easy. They start off as rivals for the various positions, but through Shiraishi's gentle nature, starts to draw the team together to function together as one. As the struggles of living up to the demands of an emergency stat team grow, so do the emotions of each member, as they have to deal with differing situations: death, mistakes, emotions and disappointments. And it is weird, because I can tear at almost every episode, so this show somewhat touches a nerve within me. And i wondered what it was.

I realised that they are very much like how a teacher should be. We have minimal room for error, we work long hours, and there is hardly time for pauses in between. The biggest difference between doctors, nurses and teachers? While medical personnel determine life or death in a split second or a moment, teachers determine life or death across the years. While medical personnel deal with physical life, teachers deal with the inner life: choices, character, values. Similar, yet different, eh?

And that somehow led me to think about Philippians 1:21 - "To die is gain, and to live is Christ". Yesterday at our weekly Monday Prayer Point, we covered Galatians 2, and in Galatians 2:19-20, it says:

"For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
-Galatians 2:19-20

It is quite an apt reminder for the current series of "Extreme Discipleship" by the church pastors, and I can't help but think that it is very much like how the interns go about in Code Blue. I read before that the road of spiritual leadership is one of solitude, but not of loneliness- Solitude because we are the only ones who walk this particular path, but not lonely, because God is with us.

Sure, each of the interns have to go through their own difficulties, and that is something that they themselves can only solve. But that doesn't mean that they are alone. The team rallies around each other, supports one another, and I know, for me, I have the Lord. So I guess, as the tears fall down my cheeks, I realise that I am not crying solely because the scenes are touching. I cry because I resonate and understand what they go through.

It is not an easy journey, but in the midst of suffering, that's when we see God's heartbeat. =)

Dear Mandy,

It's funny how the more time I spend in NIE, the more I start to think as how a teacher should, but yet, not very comfortable with the ideals that NIE purports a teacher should be. Somehow, it reminds me of what a Pastor shared in service before.. it is hard to teach/ bring across things to other people when you yourself don't believe in it, or you don't see value in it.

Perhaps it's something that most teachers face.. but for me... I don't know. Being a teacher.. is it really where I'm called to go? I realise this question seeps in ever so often these days.

Okay! Lesson ended! Haha... see u!

Dear Mandy,

It is with rather mixed feelings I write in to you today...

As with transitions and movements, change in inevitable and movement is necessary.
As much as I know God's hand is moving in all this, and His plan and will will be done, I cannot suppress the furore of emotions that include wistfulness, sadness and joy for what has happened.

I guess God has His plans, and I also feel a tad apprehensive about the change.
But I know God will pull through, and I trust in His name. =)

God is good.

Dear Mandy,

"With broken heart and contrite sigh,
A trembling sinner, Lord, I cry:
Thy pard'ning grace is rich and free:
O God, be merciful to me.

I smite upon my troubled breast,
With deep and conscious guilt opprest,
Christ and His cross my only plea:
O God, be merciful to me."
-Thomas Campion

Quite nicely written. =)

Dear Mandy...

And so the NDP journey came to an end... It has been an amazing journey, one that I reflected more than ever. And it has really been a heartfelt journey. As you look at the heart above, with the interlinking hands, the red ball... it symbolises so much for me.

The unity of the Primers through linked hands.
The formation of one heart.
The red ball.. its' light isn't very obvious, it isn't as bright as an LED light. But it symbolises hope. It symbolises faith. A dim light attempting to shine despite not being bright. The belief that it can be seen and it can make a difference.

That pretty much sums up the youth of today, to a certain extent? Even as I'm sitting in lecture now, and we're talking about multi-literacies and multi-modality, it makes me think. Yes, our students evolve, yes, our students are now in a different league than we used to be.

But they still crave community. They need people to interact with, even if it may be online, but there is still the need for social acceptance and integration.
Many people who are online, also speak of united directions; the same passion, the same views. They wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't share the same drive as they do. The same desire to succeed in the power struggles of Maple Story or Legion.
And above all else.. there is the hope and faith. The hope that they can make their mark in the world, the tiny faith that they have that they can make a difference; be somebody.

And I think that it's important that we remember what the Lord said in 1 Timothy:

^"12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

So from this, I wonder.. what is our role then? As teachers, leaders, adults; the ones that the children and youth look at to learn, follow, develop and grow from. Or even. To be like them. What should we do, and how should we live?

Things such as teachers who have 2 different facebook accounts, or adults to air their views wherever and whenever, and even, adults who do things such as blaspheme and comment without justification on issues.. what are we teaching our children?

I'm not too sure how best to approach them, but there are many expectations that are being placed on teachers. Indeed, as my lecturer just said, even what she says is loaded with meaning and intentions... what are the intentions we drive across with our words and actions? As teachers, do we conform, innovate, break out or facilitate? So many questions, so little answers.

I guess in the end, we decide and we choose how best to go about. Which role works best, which approach is best... such thoughts have flooded my mind very often these days... And even as my lecturer jsut vacated the microphone to go around to the class to solicit opinions, I see how boundaries are broken and norms are challenged.

It's an interesting journey of reflection. =)

Dear Mandy,

You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take,
an eternal home no divorce can break.

Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea.
Every mistake you've made is nailed to the tree.

You're blood-bought and heaven-made.
A child of God- forever saved.

So be grateful, joyful - for isn't it true?
What you don't have is much less than what you do.

-Max Lucado in "A love worth giving"

Dear Mandy,

I think I'm right when I say this, but I feel like a ship that's lost its' way and I'm trying to find a lighthouse that would guide my path.

And I came across this really wonderful quote from Max Lucado...

"A humble heart doesn't say 'I can't do anything', but instead, it says 'I can't do everything, but I play my part.'"

Perhaps it's the sheer simplicity of the statement, or the heart of the matter, which, by the way, I feel like my heart's kind of heavy. I feel to a certain extent, like there're too many things on my mind, and on my heart... and I'm thankful for the little nuggets of ease that the Lord gives, and the prayers that people send my way. And yet, at the pinnacle of it all, there is still something missing.

And it's something that I am reflecting on, even as I speak. I met up with BKC today (minus Pearlyn who had to work last minutedly), and it was a very comfortable, and much delayed meet up for us all. I really miss them. The quiet moments, the ease, the flow of sharing.. they were just wonderful, and it made me realise how much I am going to miss my batch of EL majors.

And then, perhaps that's what struck me. I miss the simplicity of life, the basic comfort of friendship, and, even as I've started my attachment, the passion towards things. Perhaps I have become too cynical, or I've forgotten to make time for myself.. I just... feel quite at a loss. And then I read that love does not envy, and it is not proud. Talk about a wake up call. =)

Dear Mandy...

Well, as I have officially completed my first week of being an Education Officer, I walk away with rather mixed feelings. On one hand, I love the colleagues that I have, and I realise that there's much things that in the last 2 days of Teacher Preparatory Programme that are very relevant, but there are also some doubts, questions and struggles within me as I try to come to terms with seemingly contradictory theories and actions. But more importantly, I give thanks to God for my wonderful team! Team 6!

Jeannette, Rebecca, Sze Wing, Jelvin, Vincent and I bonded very much in the last 6 days, and we've gotten so amicable with each other that we've started to joke and laugh at each other. From a combined car ride up today that was much mirth and cheer, we simply continued to bond over the day. From playing IPhone games, to writing random post-its, and even to friendly banter between us... it was just such a joy.

Hong Kong was a great getaway... I shan't say much, because the pictures on my FB says a thousand words. NDP has officially moved to the 10 to 10 timeline, and that's also a lot that's ongoing even as I speak..

Just yesterday at cell, Jim asked us to reflect on the last 6 months, and have we been empowered, exploding and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit. And as I reflected, I realised just how much a struggle these last 6 months have been. If not for the grace of God, I doubt I'd have survived! And yet, the Lord is gracious and He provides...

Even as I ponder over the many things that occurred, and even the sudden information influx that came in yesterday, or even the emotions that ran through me as I drove home.. I guess there's more that I need to receive from God, because I'm limited by so much as a human... =)

Dear Mandy,
And so, the LoveBatam mission trip was from the 4th of June 2011 to the 8th of June 2011, and what a journey it was. =) There were 20 of us involved in this trip (Yan Xi was taking the picture), and it was definitely a journey that went according to God's will.

Firstly, I had NDP training in the morning, so Poon, Zhen Zhu and I took a later ferry over. By the time we reached, Jimmy came to fetch us in a van, and we headed to the first orphanage where the programme was already partly under way. It was short of amazing to see how open the orphans were to us, and how much they had warmed up to the team when we reached. Then when we moved into the song and dance segment, Yuen Shin led "Jesus loves me", and the kids launched into the Bahasa Indonesian version of the song. It was a very touching sight, and it really left a deep impact on me.

The 2nd day, the church service was magnificent.


This is the church that Jimmy preached at, and we attended as ministry leaders. It was definitely quite an experience, because firstly, it was our first Batam church service, secondly, we were ministering to people who hardly speak English, and thirdly, all of us were now ministry leaders. Quite a sight, if you ask me... especially since I was given a task last-minutedly to be a worship singer... and it went beyond my initial fears of having to pray for someone because of the language barrier. Because as a worship leader, my role would then be to create an atmosphere where God and His people can minister. The moment I stepped up on stage... and after a moment of worship, I moved into the Spiritual with God, and sensed so much emotion... it was quite an experience.

The second orphanage was a slightly bigger programme than the first, partly due to the larger number of people, and the more spread out age group. But God is good! I believe because He was with us, the actions we did, the words we spoke, and our countenance all reflected the Lord's grace and love. And that was what really mattered. When we ran out of things to do, the Lord would utilise us to maximise our strengths. It was beautiful to see how everyone of us played a part, and were committed to the programme and each other's success. It was a sight to behold. Kudos to the banquet team for cooking up a dinner for 65! And it was a good dinner, to say the least. =)

The next day saw us having a slow morning, and then a sudden twist of tempo as instead of plantation farming, we were to head to the countryside to paint and refurnish a church! Talk about a sudden change of events. From farmers-to-be, we became emergency painters and handymen! And that was when things started to get a tad tense, and even straining. Miscommunication was rife, and people were struggling to keep their emotions in check. But I think along the way, as we reflected, we realised that we are building the church! The dwelling place of God, or as Farand put it aptly, we were like Nehemiah, rebuilding the church of God. And that means so much.

I felt it was apt that Farand led us in a time of encouragement and affirming each other, because I felt that it was much needed. For too long in the trip, we were caught up with the operations, that there are times we forget to affirm and encourage. I was reminded of the verse in Ephesians, about how we should not give up meeting together, and to continue to spur and encourage each other to do good deeds. =)

So imagine our joy when we completed the refurnishing of the church come day 4, by 2.30pm in the afternoon. Here's the end product! =)


However, what truly touched me was when Pastor Philip thanked us, and said that his congregation had been praying for a refurnishing of the church and to paint it. And that really revealed to me that this trip was a God-planned journey. It rained in the first 2 days, but it'd stop or mellow down when we were at the orphanages to carry out the programme. But it prevented us from going to do plantation farming. Instead, because we were obedient to God, and we desired to serve Him and not idle, we ended up at this church, painting and refurnishing. And allowing these people in Batam to witness God's miracle of answered prayers, and above all else, to encourage them that our God is real. And He provides. =)

It is truly a sight to behold... and even as we did our reflections, there was so much to write, that 1 hour just wasn't enough. And I felt like it has been such a learning journey for me. The most important thing is this, as I quote from my reflections:

"For me, there is one main thing that I want to work on and live my life by. As reflected in Chapter 1.4 and 1.5, I want to be more considerate and sensitive to the needs of others. I would also like to be compassionate and loving in every single action, not just in meeting a big picture. When my actions, thoughts and my words come from God as its’ source, and follows the attitude of Christ-like compassion and love, then I will be able to live out God’s Word in everything, because my basis is love."

Even more important, is that I feel that in this season, I'm learning how to seek solace and comfort and affirmation from God first, and in Christ alone. As I quote from my reflections again...

"But then, what dawned upon me, was the simple question of the way I approached the situation, and the question of what is compassion and what is love. God reminded me that almost 6 months ago, I faced that question too. I recalled that love is firstly about God, and secondly, to do what benefits the person completely. “Completely” in this context, means that whatever we do, we put the needs of the person before us. That’s what I believe love really is. Sure… today we met felt needs, but I guess I took away the thought of have I really done what I did out of love? Every single part of it? And I realized that I didn’t really do so."

There's so much to learn, and so much to grow in, that at the end of the day, I shared with the team that "it's a reflective journey, but I feel that it is also the beginning of a new chapter".

Indeed. =) I'm walking towards the sun that rises even after the darkest night. =)

Dear Mandy...

The last couple of days have been eventful, meaningful, and also challenging...

NDP rehearsal yesterday was tiring, but it was very endearing to see how the different motivators gathered together to rally around one another... but for my NYP motivators, I see them encouraging each other, pushing each other, and trying to bond.

Had an amazing time today at the Lion King Musical at Marina Bay Sands, Sands Theatre. It was a brilliant show! The songs, the dances, the props, the costumes... even the stage atmosphere. It was very African jungle-like, very tribal, very real. And though there were some parts that I wish could have been better, but I think that overall, the show was worth the $88 that I paid! =)

What encouraged me was that there were 13 people! It was quite a successful outing, I feel. I didn't have time to have dinner with the gang afterwards, but I'm very certain that they bonded, and God's presence was with them. =)

I went for dinner with Vonne and Kaiting! =) Two lovely friends who I've known since Year 2 until now. They're 2 of my closest friends about. Full of laughter and mirth, never failing to share their views, even if it's hilarious, or sarcastic, and real. What I cherish most about these two ladies, is how they take it upon themselves to look out for me. Sure they tell me stuff about their lives, but they always take special effort to make sure I'm not running myself ragged, and always concerned about how I'm doing, and where I am.


I praise God for them.
Because they are truly truly briliantly wonderful friends. =)

Dear Mandy,

I think that many a time... our perspective determines the way we see things. It's as simple as that. It is differing perspectives that can sometimes lead to war. Differing perspectives can see different sides to a piece of text. Different perspectives end in different results.

So perspective is a big word. Just today, at the divine healing seminar, PS Derek Hong said that the attitude that we adopt when we read the Bible makes all the difference. Attitude, perspective. They more or less affect the way we do things, the way we read things, and the way we live life.

An optimist may be far happier than a pessimist, but a pessimist is, in many a time, headed for less pain than an optimist. But an optimist finds joy within pain (or so, I believe). And perhaps, that's what's so lacking... we lose hope all too easily.

I don't know... but hope is essential I guess... hope may be frail, but there is always hope in Jesus. I'm actually quite a bundle of incoherent thoughts at the moment... and part of me wonders about the possibility of a world without hope... I guess that's quite impossible, because where there's love, there's hope. =) It's just... there. Giving encouragement, spurring dreams, making differences.

I hope. Do you?

Dear Mandy...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

Dear Mandy...

With the last paper on the 4th of May 2011, I officially ended the second semester of my 4th Year, and effectively, also, the last exam I'll ever take in NUS.. And I have mixed feelings. But as I reflect about this semester.. there's so much to say, and so much that I've gone through in this last semester, let alone these last 4 years, that I somehow feel that NUS has been an integral part of my life, much like how VS, VJC and NS have been. Funny how the older you go, the more lessons you learn, and the more significant each experience is for you. =)

This semester is the first, only and last semester that I overloaded on modular credits for the semester. 28 MCs... and a heck lot of work, and it was 13 weeks of non-stop running, most of the time. I found myself scrambling to find rest, rushing to get assigments and responsibilities done, finding time to get some exercise here and there, and basically forgot how to breathe.






This video really captured the essence of life for me. "But when we slow down, we discover that life has a natural pace. And it's good. We slow into a groove that's always been there. Life becomes better, more enjoyable and more fulfilling. We may do fewer things, but what we do, we do it well. We breathe" and also, "life is where you are and what you're doing right now." And as I reflected on this semester, I wonder... when was the last time in the semester that I actually breathed? Or slowed down to take a look around me? I realise now that last semester, I was more tired, a tad more cranky, more stressed.. but also.. more dependent on God.

But that's where my thoughts linger. As I read "When God writes your love story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy, there are many pointers that I come to know. I love the question they ask about "how far can we go to bring joy to our father's heart in this area (relationships)", so I extrapolated it to "in all the areas of our lives?" instead of just in the area of relationships. And I realise that when I come to a part where I'm dependent on God, I somehow miss the part whereby I know Him. Because I'm so caught up in doing my work, in serving, in doing ministry work... that I turn to Him because there's no other way. Not that God minds, because, "a broken spirit and a contrite heart, He will not despise", but then I don't experience and know Him.


I felt like the cartoon above.. I had to hurry up to slow down. But I'm thankful for the times that the Lord has brought me through this semester, and blessing me when I don't deserve to be, which is grace. But as I started the 40 days of prayer and fasting for TGIF, I knew that I can't go on this way. So I started reading a chapter of the Bible each night, on top of my daily devotion time in the morning. I know that I needed God more than ever... and at the end of the TGIF weekend, I think it was no wonder I fell sick... there were just too many things on my hand.




And so, in this season, I guess I'm trying to slow down my pace. =)
Is it wrong? I doubt it. Would people say that it's wrong? Definitely! But God never intended for us to run until we collapse out of sheer exhaustion. Jesus Himself went off by Himself to pray, and to communicate with God. He rested too. But the thing is this... slowing down is wrong if you slow down and do nothing. But if you slow down, in order to know our Father better, I think that it's definitely the right thing to do.

I value time for myself more and more.. and believe me when I say... it's still not easy. =)

Dear Mandy,

My apologies for the lack of posts in the last couple of weeks.. Been busy doing up some work and trying to make ends meet, and to be honest.. it's been a heck of a fortnight!!!

My birthday was sweet with the smses and the FB posts that people put, and the way the tribe celebrated it! I guess it's sweet to know people remember, and that, to me, is all that really matters! =)

Of course, the crazy fortnight began with a Korean skit on Thursday, with preparations that started on Tuesday!

This is the end product of our big painting session on Tuesday.. I think it's awesome, actually, that in 2 hours or so, we managed to get this out. Our skit was good... we stumbled a bit on our lines, and there was a bit of awkwardness in transition, but I got out of it a good friend, and a wonderful tutorial group!

Had a good time with Zihui after Korean class, and it was really nice to share, and to exchange pointers.. I think God is amazing, that He causes relationships and bonds to build so quickly despite knowing each other only in Week 3 onwards. It's been quite an amazing friendship with Zihui.

Monday was the submission of my Thesis, Korean final and also the submission of ACC1002X project, so the entire weekend was tight. From finalising my thesis on Friday, to studying for Korean test... I wasn't as productive as I'd liked, because I was really quite tired and even a tad angsty about it? But it was still a good session... so my thesis looks like this:

And my acknowledgements:


There were a lot of people who never stopped encouraging me, showering me with care and concern, and who helped me in making this thesis achievable.. I'm not sure if it's a fantastic thesis, but I do know that I started off by doing this because I wanted to do something related to God, and in the process, I submitted it with the intention that this thesis will glorify God in someway... Thanks to everyone who've helped me through this period, because it's a journey I won't forget. =)

Korean final went well, and hopefully I'll do well enough to get a B.. and then I submitted the Financial Accounting project, and then that's it. The end of the craziest day of this semester! =)

And even as I headed home in the rain... I just sensed God, and I know.. the sun had set on a crazy day? But it was beautiful. =)