Heyz Mandy...
Oh well... this holidays is coming to an end, and well, I can safely say that I spent majority of this hols studying... What to do? A levels!!! It's the last lap of my JC life, and this will be the last stretch of studying before I take a 2 year plus detour to NS... seems to be the typical Singaporean lifestyle of a student... *bleahz*

Okay... just a little series of events in the coming days... School reopens and block tests begin... then it'll be prelim practical exams, one week break, prelim, farewell assembly... :(... then all the way to A level practical exams, then A levels... then SDD which I haven't decided I wanna go for yet, and then it's a new life, and probably enlistment in NS... sighz... fun? Not exactly... but it's more like a phase...

Anywayz... I probably can't be staying overnight for NCC Air camp 2004... so sad! Can't partake in Phantom Walk! kaoz... haha... oh well... life's full of ups and downs... I'll classify this as a down...

Hopefully I can do relatively well and clear everything for block tests... I'd hate to have to fall into remedial, and to be classified under that "danger case" once again... not fun, definitely... last week le... have to pia all the way... And I'm a goner for my biology... I'm serious... there's just not enough time to rest, play, work, study, sleep, eat... u get the idea...

OK! TIme to persevere and work on!

-Life is about knowing how to maximise the time you have, and living it to the max!!-

Heyz Mandy... been too too long huh? Shall update you now...

Yes yes, to people who are curious to know, I am attached, and yes, if you've read my tagboard, her name is Shi Ying. :) She's a wonderful angel, and we've been together for one month and 17 days... nahz... this blog isn't for me to write about our relationship, but it's just something to update about, coz well... I'm sure my jies and my close friends who frequent this blog will want to know. :)

Stepped down already... and Investiture was okay... though our off day was spent going for multiple match supports... cricket was postphoned in the end, but soccer guys... they won SAJC 4-1! And CJ scored a hat trick, and soccer captain Andy added the fourth... the atmoshere there really brought back memories of my term as a red shirt and it was a good match, all in all... I spent the whole day with Shi Ying... and thanks to her, I really managed to maintain my composure despite crying in the morning during investiture... stepping down, and taking off my name tag... oh wells... :) thanks dear!

VJC managed to do pretty well so far in the sports sections... Hockey girls and soccer guys got champions! Table tennis girls, cricket guys, badminton girls managed to get first runners-ups! Tennis guys and girls got second runners up, cross country got both team third... Hopefully this winning streak will stetch on to kayaking, track and field, swimming... yeahz...

Had a LOONG chat with Bryan yesterday during Council room cleanup, and realised I really miss VSPB and the times I spent in NCC AIR and in VS... times really fly... and well, now I'm in year 2... and wishing I have more time to spend to have heartfelt talks with people, or just to do one last event together... but it's all over now... regrets will be there... 20th could have been a much more dynamic council... that's my biggest regret... but no point saying anything now... yeahz... must learn to let go.

Heyz Mandy...

Well, a lot has happened of late... let's see what happened... :p

Sports day... leading up to it was 5 days of intensive and time-wasting cheerleading practice... oh well... not that I would have bothered udner normal circumstance, but the fact that there was a Maths test that Saturday, I got kinda pissed off anywayz... yeahz... Luckily my partner was Jacinth... otherwise, I may have just erupted... :P

Anywayz, the training paid off when we clinched 2nd for CHeerleading Comp... but unfortunately, Pegasus came in last for the VJC Annual Sports meet.... hehe... u win some u lose some... ran 4 * 400m as well, but unfortunately, we came in last too... ran my best... but felt I could have done much much better... Anywayz, thanks to my angel who noted my unhappiness and came to find me, and spent the whole time with me... I really appreciate everything that you've done for me... From the time you came to look for me until the time you left... Every little detail... :) Still stays within me.

Maths test went okayz, but of course, there were the little flaws that me, being me, was prone to making... but oh wellz... no place for regrets, will have to work harder... but of course, I'll also have to hope with all my heart that the teachers don't decide to put the test immediately after a huge event... yeahz....

Yesterday we had a looong meeting about the restructure of Council... I ended up leaving hyperly pissed off, and thinking about what Bryan told me... haha... in a sense, and ironically, he has a point... oh well... what can I do or say... I'm stepping down in abt less than a month... I shall just do what I can, in the hope that 21st will buck up, and everything else that goes along with it...

Okayz, that's it for now... will update more next time. :)

Heyz Mandy...

Been sometime... and well, I'm becoming more and more disappointed with the way things are becoming... I mean... I'm already trying my utmost best to do what I can sometimes... and when things don't go well, I do get pissed off... and what some people can do, is just say that I got pissed off again, because that's just me, and say things like how they don't see how my getting pissed off can get anything done. I mean, they didn't even do anything to help out, and all they can do is comment and comment and comment... okay, so some people who tried to help did tell me to relax more often, get less pissed... but seriously speaking... I really feel like not committing to Council anymore. I mean, what's the point? I feel like I'm giving my all, losing all my personal time to a cause I dedicated myself to, for serving the school, and in the end, it just ends off with Councillors who are letting go because 21st has become more active, because of personal, ugly reasons that they harbour... how ironic...

Now, Siva has taken the optional idea... so now, pple can just come if they want to, and if they don't, then just do it ourselves... I really think no point making ourselves worried about attendance and committment anymore... it's just one more added problem I don't have the energy and the capacity to border over... it's easier to do things yourself.

Dear Mandy...

Heyz... I really feel hyperly out of place... haha... no matter where I go... in Council too... and I dunno... bu I feel like there's nothing much I can do except just carry on with life... heard a lot of things from people who I talked to yesterday, and it really got me thinking... about a lot fo things... about 20th, and some other stuff.

Looking at my previous entry, I suddenly feel that a lot of things can never be an idealistic case... it's like... I realised that I always believed that every single Councillor joined Council with some intention to serve Victoria... that word... VICTORIA, the epitome of my existence in Council. But as I look at the attitudes that some of us are adopting now... I'm seriously seeing for myself the true colours of certain people. How ironic... we have not even stepped down yet, and already we are acting like we are. Has everyone forgotten that we still have to guide 21st? Or have they already taken that their term of being in 20th is finally over, they have their personal time now? I seriously wonder... what did being a Councillor mean to some people, and how much was your intention to serve prevalent over your own personal reasons? True, without a doubt, throughout our term, people were committed, people served... but now that 21st is gradually taking over our duties, does it mean that we should have every reason to stop our work, to stop doing our work, to stop doing things in general? Look at something simple like Welfare Room duty, for example... enough said... We keep telling 21st to buck up, to put in more committment, to be exemplary Councillors... let me pose a question: Are we setting the example for them? I guess the answer will definitely vary from person to person, so yeah... I shan't comment. In fact, I know that I probably don't have the right to ask that question to everyone directly, because, like a lot of people would disagree, and continue arguing, saying that a lot of things come first... that 21st should be smart enough to know things, they should buck up themselves... but well, we should think about ourselves first. Evaluate ourselves first. I try so darn hard to set an example for them... but... nvm. People will just say I'm letting my emotions get the better of me anyway, no point. Well, I'm sorry for saying all these out to you, Mandy, but I seriously don't know how else to say things... because since nobody will agree/listen to them anyway, I can only turn to you.

Today, Jacob and Siva brought up the box to collect the Councillors letters to each other, to like, tell each other how we feel... and I have a lot to say... because as individuals, we all are special... but well... I dunno. The idea seems to have lost its impact on me... and I'm surprised that it has... though I still do support the idea and everything, but honest words from my heart are: I've lost all feeling from my heart for now, except to a special person. Give me some time to heal and get back my heart's feelings before I say anything else, but now, my heart seems to be filled with bitterness and a lot of hurt and pain... Haha... wonder how long I've kept all these feelings bottled up inside of me... perhaps... too long... yeahz... and now at the end of the term, I just gotta find some avenue to let it out... sorry Mandy.... yeahz... but thank you.

Shall end off here... see you.

Dear Mandy...
Back in the computer lab for GP, and surprisingly, I'm beginning to see things from an alternate point of view... suddenly out of the blue, I'm beginning to grow more and more unhappy at the things that are happening with regards to lessons, and Council. Its's like, I feel like as though I'm losing my patience, and getting tired out more easily... Let me see...

I feel like I've reached saturation point for lessons now... so so sick and tired of everything that is going on... taking time off to be alone and have personal thoughts is so difficult, and well, everything is going at a pace that is so frightfully fast, that keeping up seems to be all that I'm doing every single day... time to rest is lost, and now, I can't even control my attention span in class. It just seems as though I can only sit there, but I'm only physically there... I'm not there mentally... and I end up falling asleep against my will... the need to replenish my lack fo sleep is such a huge urge... and well... this can't keep up, but I'm afraid that it already has... I don't want a repeat of last year's falling ill just before Promos, and doing badly again... but what can I do? Everyday there's something new that disallows me to even call in sick... thankfully, the illnesses that I have been facing are relatively minor, and in a few days, I'll automatically heal and be back on my feet,.... but how much longer can my body keep up with this mental torture? I seriously am in doubt.

Okayz... and now, I dunno. I mean, when the year began and we had that major thrashing out session with 20th, everything went smoothly... it actually was FUN doing things, even if it was like, dirty work? But now... where has all that commitment gone to? Where is everyone's sense of belonging, and are people still looking out for each other, or are they just there for the sake of being there? There's so many things going on, and I can only stand and watch and stare, because I've come to realise that I don't belong in the Council... I just don't fit in. I don't know if it was my being myself that caused this... little... I don't know, feeling to have grown and bred inside of me, until now, it's extremely unbearable? It's so ironic... because I can safely say that people don't listen... yeahz... and though I agree that I'm also partly at fault, and guilty of that particular trait too, but all the differing opinions of Councillors in 20th have seriously turned against us. Add on the fact that there's a lot of animosity that is being kept under the carpet, just not being said out, says alot about people. I guess that a lot of us just want to end off our term happily? But I seriously am tired of everything... I'll tell you more next time, Mandy...

Thank goodness I still have my dear angel (my junior). Without her, I'm afraid that I would have broken down a long time ago.

Dear Mandy...
Suddenly sitting inside the Computer room, having GP lesson, but somehow, my mind is not on the lesson... but I've just been thinking about a lot of things... yeahz... and I don't know, but I think I want to be left alone... really really left alone from everything in the World. I saw/inferred/deduced, or whatever you want to call it, a lot of things in the last few days... and thinking of it, I realised that I'm pretty much not as good as everyone thought me to be, and I seem to see that some people are not acting they way they are around you, and for the first time in a long time, I feel that there's not much point in being myself to certain people... it's not just teachers, it's also students...

I... dunno what to say or do, but I know that there are people out there who need me to be there for them... and I will do that... yeahz... And to be honest, I'm getting more hurt and upset than I normally am... add on the new stressload that the Council has been under, I'm afraid that there's only so much I can take... but how much more can I take? I really am unsure... but I guess I'll go the whole way... but I'm seriously uncertain... Because the person that I needed to be there for me... or one of my two closest friends in Council... seriously isn't there. And yet, she's there for other people. Yeahz... I'm not in the mood to say anything more now, Mandy... but I seriously think that 21st may be closer to me now... then perhaps some members of 20th.

I'm really sad that I had to say that... but perhaps it may be true.

Dear Mandy...

Okayz, not I'm more in the mood to log in... a lot has happened... Elects camp ended not so long ago... and well, to be honest, it brought back a lot a lot of memories... both new and old... and now, at the last hour that I have of the March holidays, I'm reminiscing about the past year... and I really am thankful for a lot a lot of things.

When I first came to VJC, already, I wanted to be part of the Council, even though I didn't know what the Council is all about, I just knew that the Council is one of the best ways to serve the college, so I had my mind set on it. I remember having CHi Ching, Renita, Lay Boon and Carolyn as my interviewers I think... haha... and I became a nominee...

Got bombed quite badly in front of S1 for the faculty speeches and q&a, and well, there was also Nominee's night... haha... everything was quite funny and interesting... and what really was memorable was the sing-a-long we had at the end... yupz...

When I became an Elect, I was shocked... I thought for sure I wouldn't make it. And when those who didn't make it were so upset, I found myself even more determined not to let them down.... and that's when I started to work extra hard...

Elects Camp for us was really a memorable event... If it wasn't for Grace, Jac Tang and Kristy mei... I don't think I'd have been able to survive. The egg session esp... but of course, there were so many small details... and it was thanks to everyone that I managed to get so far...

O2 and Invest went by quickly... and they were memories by themselves... Investiture... our investiture... can't believe it actually went past.... I was nominated to be the ECO head, and I accepted it with some uncertainty, but I was lucky to have gotten a dynamic ECO... Working with my twinnie darling, Dom has been nothing short of a pleasure, and when you start working with ECO... Joanna, Lynette, Priya, Sharon, Sanjay, Samuel, Benny, David, Aseem, Zhe Bin... each time we meet or do a match support, it's a new memory and a new experience each time... Guys, being your ECO head has been a privelege for me... I just hope that to you, I've been the ECO head that you all expected an ECO head to be.

The events all flew by one by one, from our GMs, which I must say Siva and Zhe Bin have done good jobs in chairing, to our ad-hocs... National Day, Farewell Assembly, Openhouse, SDD, O1, to the up and coming Musicfest, 20th has grown from strength to strength... no doubt we had our ups and downs during the course of this journey, but when we look back and see everything... I guess we all can safely say we never regretted joining council.

21st coming in brought new life, and a new outlook on things. We were seniors now... and the words "setting examples" became a more emphasized point. 21st started out as a disappointing batch, with their tags and what-have-nots, and when the 21st Elects were announced, some of the people that we expected to make it, didn't. And when some of the ELects pulled out, we were kinda disappointed. But we knew that we had to hone the 21st... and we tried our very best to.

21st SC Elects Camp... it was a ride I won't forget... I told myself that I would set an example... that I wouldn't do anything less than what the Elects are doing. And I managed to do that... especially in terms of the PT game, which I almost killed myself in doing, but had this great sense of achivement. IN this sense, this camp, Kristy mei and Hui Yi mei were my greatest pillars of support... and i sincerely thank them for it... the guys too, were a great bunch of people to lean on... we shld ton over together more often, u guys! :)

Lastly... I'd like to thank the Council... both 20th and 21st for being there for me, and giving me reason to push myself on for the things I do. Thank you all... especially to the 20TH Brotherhood, and my two closest friends of 20th... Love u all lots...

EXCO: Siva, Zhe Bin, Kaval, Hui Yi, Daniel, Deepak, Edrei
ECO: Dominique, Lynette, Aseem, Sharon, Samuel, Sanjay, David, Joanna, Benny, Priya
RECO: Sara, Sanjeewa, Hui Zhi, Melissa, Stephanie, Samantha, Kristy Koh, Amy, Sangeeta, Jason
WELCO: Kristy P, Jenna, Li Juan, Grace, Zhou Yue, Rachel, Jacob, XuWen, Zahida, Joel

Dear Mandy...
Been a long time since I last logged in, and it's been a wile ride... the 21ST Students' Council ELects Camp is over, and it's been anything but an easy trip...

Seems like in the first couple of days and the first half of the 2nd day, it was a disappointing journey for me... for many reasons... haha...

Ok, no mood to log tonight, just wanna say that the relationship btwn me and her is on the road to good friends... :)

Heyz Mandy...
Been quite sometime since I last logged in here, but well, a lot has been on my mind these past few days, and I also don't know how to make head or tail of whatever I've been going through. Seems as though things between us have deteriorated to an extent that I can't even imagine... we're hardly talking to each other, and well, we don't even say hi sometimes... the extent is that bad...

I guess maybe she likes this guy who likes her too... if anything's the case, I guess it's better that she be happy? I don't know what to do actually... just keep thinking that I'm never going to be able to have a place in her heart at the rate things are going, and I don't want to do anything either, because I'm so scared of how she'll react to the things I may do or say. I hate being stuck in this dilemma, and sometimes, I wish that there was someone in VJC who could comfort me like how Chi Ching, Wendy or Jeng Ying could nwhen 19th was still around. Now in year 2, it's more like "image" and "independence" and well, no one actually stops to think about how people actually feel nowadays... everyone's busy trying to heal, trying to cope, trying to pick themselves up from that pit that they've fallen into, that well, it's kinda difficult for them to do anything else.. handling their own lives by itself is already an arduous task...

Nowadays, even my angel, Shi Ying says that I'm really not myself... very down and upset, but I try to be happy, so maybe that's why... yeahz... it's so difficult to balance everything when you know very well that the person that you're doing this for can never be yours, or can never like you, or isn't even taling to you... but I know that that shouldn't be the case in life, right? You're supposed to live for yourself? But tell me.. how do i do that when I already built my world around her? Haiz... gotta slowly extricate myself from that pit, but perhaps all the plans I made for her, al the little details are never going to come true. Goodbye to the last dance... it'll never happen.

Chi Ching mommy told me that if she doesn't want me, then I shouldn't want her as well... is it realy that way, mommy? I really am at a loss... come back soon k? I need my mommy around... School isn't that nice when you're not around to encourage me... I'm keeping everything to myself nowadays... I really see no point in telling people about them... because what's the point right? I eman, it's my problems, and no one really cares anyway, so how about I just shut up and work my way up? I've done it before, and I'll do it again... I probably can survive and pick myself up by myself... it'd be painful... but it's better than nothing. Because nowadays, all I have is myself. Ironic...

All these feelings have been pent up inside of me for too long actually Mandy, until an extent that I feel that it's quite the way it's supposed to be. I hate myself... I mean, what's the point? I'm just someone who can't do well in everything I try, someone who can't get people to listen, someone who's a facade, someone who's a nobody. Sounds nice... yeah. I think I can classify myself under that category of "hello, I'm a dork."

Take care Mandy... nobody bothers about this fool anyway.

Dear Mandy...

THe worst has happened. Yeahz... she's avoiding me. Thanks.

See you.

Heyz Mandy...

Happy Valentine's Day!! For me.... friendship day and Valentine's Day have been quite good... she hugged me thrice in 2 days!! Haha.... and I got an SMS just now... she said she can't bear to eat the chocolates I made for her that spell her name... and she's just so sweet... but I hope that well... Things can carry on the way they are... I'm just contented to see her happy... Am I being dumb? I hope not... I just can't stop thinking of her.... haha... okay, I'm going crazy.

Today... dunno what happened to me as well... ran 4.8km... and suddenly got this pain at the abdomen area.... kinda piercing pain.... and couldn't continue running.... but pushed myself... and then, at the last 70m dash.... couldn't stop in time, and I just slipped and fell... couldn't breathe properly... then, hurt like hell... position: 280. Worst than last year... kinda disappointed in myself, then I saw Meng... he trained so hard to be in the top 20, but he got a terrible stitch... yet he pressed on all the way, coming in as the 37... but he trained so hard... and to miss his target... the pain was so immense... he cried. It's rare to see him cry... and for this kinda thing... I guess that he's really upset... haiz...

Then... the prize presentation, which I was the MC... and I had problem breathing... but still pressed on... coz the show must go on rite? Luckily, the MC-ing went alright... but during mass dance... the pain got more intense... but still beared with it... had gritted teeth... haha... first time I ever danced with that kind of face... and then after mass dance... so intense I just dropped on the floor. :s Thanks to Priya and Miss Siow for their help... but when the VS guys started cheering, I just hecked the pain and ran in there to cheer... then made it worse. bleah. Anywayz... thanks to Kristy P for the 100 plus and the care... and to Grace and Jacob too... thank you...

Then the meeting with 21st... I really got closer to some of the 21st nominees... especially Melody, which now, I'm classified as a scandal with her... what the... she's just my mei k? Nothing between us... anyway, the meeting with 21st was quite bad.... think coz I was trying to balance the pain, and also quite disappointed, so I lost my temper... but after that, calmed down and resumed the normal tone of talking to them... reminder to self: gotta curb that... stop being too nice... Anywayz... after that I gave them chocolates that I bought specially for them... coz after all, it is Valentine's Day... so yupz... to any 21st who happen to drop by... happy Valentine's Day, but at the same time, please please please don't compromise your standards k... You all have potential... just try to change somethings, and you'll reach there... really.

After that... went back to Council room to evaluate the meeting, which really didn't go well... then we presented the people with the gifts we bought them... flowers for Priya, Kaval, Hui Zhi, Joanna and Rachel, and notebooks for Grace, Anhua, Hui Yi and Melissa... then... the huge one... prepared the two sets of chocolates, the notebook and the card... and asked her outside... she really is very very sweet... Everything she does is so perfect... goodness... I must be going crazy. Then I walked her out... *blush*... shall stop mooning to you Mandy...

Anhua gave me chocolates!! Haha... really surprised that I'd get it... actually... so touched... it's the first time i ever got anything from Anhua... and she's such a great friend to me... my best friend in VJC... yeah... :) She came in 8th today! So proud of her... :)

Suddenly thinking about the past memories... and realised that we as the 20th council have come a long way... from innocent and naive nominees to the Councillors we are now... the tears and the joy we shared cannot be summed up in words alone... I really won't forget the small details of the memories we have had so far... The sing-a-longs, the Council stairs, the Council room, the canteen corridor, the concourse, the reading rooms... the places we would have our small, but meaningful conversations... Openhouse, SDD, Orientation 1 and 2, National Day, Farewell Assembly and Teachers' Day... these events that we worked hard together for... made our bonds stronger... the general meetings, committee meetings, ad-hoc meetings... all these things, though serious events, but still, memorable in their own ways... how did time every fly so quickly until we are left with the realisation that it's almost time for us to handover to the 21st... I really miss those times we had... really... and I love every single one of you in 20th... thank you... for the memories and the friendships and the love you gave me.

Heyz Mandy...

Well, a lot has happened... yesterday was the first Nominee's meeting, and to be honest, I don't think we were harsh at all... in fact, I'd say we were very mild considered to how 19th treated us, but I guess that every batch differs... Already 7 people have withdrawn from being a nominee, and I'm really quite upset and disappointed that Shi Qi and SiMin have decided to call it quits with being part of the 21st Students' Council... Shi Qi is really a potential candidate as a Councillor... and I really am quite sad... She had her own reasons though, and I guess the least I can do is to just respect her decision and wish her all the best in her VJ term. SiMin though, was already quite hesitant about picking up the form, and well, she couldn't even explain her reasons for backing out to me... I guess perhaps it's too much of me to have tried to talk these people into staying... I get more disappointed and more upset each time they still decide on quitting... Did we really do anything wrong? And were we overboard? I don't know... but... haiz... How are we going to make 21st better than us? I'm at a loss of what to do now.

And well, Joanna's suspended from the Council, and I'm really pissed off at the teachers' decision... they should have done the suspension last yr, from the O1 planning so that she could focus on her re-assessments... but they didn't... and now that she didn't do well, they decide to suspend her when it's near the end of her Council term... and they even want to take off her tags... Man, if they did that, they'd see no end to the things that we'd do... I would definitely revolt against them... I really don't know what's so wrong with some of the VJC teachers! They like to do things to their own whim and fancy... and they claim that they do it for the best of our interest... and maybe some people might say that I'm being baised, but I dont think I am... they try to cover up for their mistakes but they do it at the wrong time and the wrong ways... there are more ways to help Joanna pull up her grades, and if they think that dismissal from the Council is the way out, then perhaps they should reconsider their stand as teachers.

Today's entry seems to be rather pessimistic... yeah... but I guess I ought to add on... worried about Common Test 1... I really hope I can pass everything... but my mind seems very weary... keep wanting to sleep... and my body gets weary very easily... haiz.... what is wrong with me? *Sighzy*

Anywayz, would like to thank Anhua and Kristy mei for their help and support... Anhua is sooo sweet! Haha.... she's always there for you, and always with a smile on her face when u need it, despite you not being in contact with her for sometime... and when she smiles... you know that she really cares, unlike some fake people... and my mei mei... she's just the best... she's dancing for musicfest 2004, and I saw the choreographed parts of the dance, and I daresay that the effort they have been putting in is really commendable... all the way to you all... :)

Okayz... that's a long entry already... till next time Mandy... see you.

Heyz Mandy...
Depressed and down. Haha...so what's new right? That's my life this year.. stress and depression... go hand in hand... dun really wanna talk abt it, so yeah...

Post Date: Wed Jan 28, 06:39:20 PM

Heyz Mandy...

So much has happened lately, and my mood has been an emotional roller coaster ride... but of course, today, I'm relatively happy... :) not going to say why... but I'm just glad that everything worked out ok. Thank you Chiew, thank you I-Lynn... everything's so much better now... :)

Now the only thing that worries me is the up and coming Common Test 1 and all the requirements i have to meet... I shall aim for something higher than an E for all my subjs... I target to get Cs... yeah... so that means, starting today or latest tmr, I HAVE TO START MY STUDYING FOR PHYSICS!! Haha... and of course, not neglecting my immaculately confusing Chemistry, my kinda off Maths, and my information overpowering Biology. Nope, I am not looking forward to the next few weeks alright.

21st is coming in... and well, kinda weird... being seniors now... and new juniors to take care of... :) Hope they are good good juniors... and people who are joining Council for the correct reasons... (If not, I'll make sure that I shall tekan them...) I resolve to be strict...

V-day! Approaching in like... 3 weeks time... Happy V-Day to everyone. :)

Heyz Mandy...

So much has happened lately, and my mood has been an emotional roller coaster ride... but of course, today, I'm relatively happy... :) not going to say why... but I'm just glad that everything worked out ok. Thank you Chiew, thank you I-Lynn... everything's so much better now... :)

Now the only thing that worries me is the up and coming Common Test 1 and all the requirements i have to meet... I shall aim for something higher than an E for all my subjs... I target to get Cs... yeah... so that means, starting today or latest tmr, I HAVE TO START MY STUDYING FOR PHYSICS!! Haha... and of course, not neglecting my immaculately confusing Chemistry, my kinda off Maths, and my information overpowering Biology. Nope, I am not looking forward to the next few weeks alright.

21st is coming in... and well, kinda weird... being seniors now... and new juniors to take care of... :) Hope they are good good juniors... and people who are joining Council for the correct reasons... (If not, I'll make sure that I shall tekan them...) I resolve to be strict...

V-day! Approaching in like... 3 weeks time... Happy V-Day to everyone. :)

Heyz Mandy....

Yesterday's CNY celebrations were pretty much okay... but was stoning on stage at the point when we were dancing during mass dance... We were dancing "I want you" for the 2nd time, and then, at the last chorus, I suddenly realised that our term would be coming to an end... and that it was the third last time we would be dancing mass dance on stage as dance I/Cs... haiz... then i messed up the chorus... so embarrassed!!

Can't help wondering how the new council will be like... I seriously hope that they will be able to be better than us after they are trained... I'm going to go all out to make sure they are better than us... for once I'm certain that I'm doing what I have intended to do... and nobody can stop me... I'm serious... not going to say what, but just look out for a totally different me when it's the new Council's training...

Haiz.... depressed as well... what to do? Drank alcohol till i ended up being tipsy... not good... haiz... :(

Dear Mandy...

Suddenly being put to think about some stuff... didn't do a lot of studying today, and I dunno... was just put to think about a lot of stuff... the past few days... a lot of people suddenly called me... and I realised how bad I have been to be neglecting them and not trying to keep in contact... Abby, Lee Min, Kalyn, Erica, Samantha... haiz... and I also learnt alot of stuff from them...

Abby's kinda depressed about her life now... Lee Min's happy with hers, but worried for me, Kalyn wants to take a pic with me and she misses me, Erica says her board is going to collapse, and Samantha's going through a rough patch... I so want to be able to be there for them... but I can't even handle my own life... haiz... I am so screwed manz... hate JC life... but I will try my best...

Thinking back about the day I first became a nominee until now... the ups and downs we have had being in the Council. Shih Yuan just told me something, that has made everything seem so clear. The Council is made of many individual talents... and each to their own flaws and strengths. And you are proud of the Council when everyone maximises their potentials, and disappointed because of their flaws. How so true... thanks Shih... you summed up everything for me in just two sentences...

Suddenly feeling like I'm not a good Exco member... I think I've failed being one... I wasn't able to bond the Council... wasn't able to keep everyone's commitment in check... wasn't able to maximise the potential of people... wasn't able to do a lot of things that an Exco member should... I don't know... haiz... :(

Okayz... I think I should end here... gd nite

Heyz Mandy...

Oh well, had the Orientation bbq yesterday, and well, a lot has been happening of late, so maybe it's time to update ya...

Okayz... well, because of my fantastic results... I am in remedial programs and also under a pending talk with Mrs. Foo because I think that she may want me to drop a subject. but I don't want to... I shall try to common test one... but I seriously hope that I can pull my grades up... I'm worried about it... haiz... must work darn hard...

Then the orientation bbq yesterday... it was like so cool... haha... I spent less time eating (amazingly) and more time talking to the year 1s... suddenly I feel kinda regretful that I didn't get to know them better... Kandy, Ngee Leng, Yeowmay and Geraldine and a lot others... haha... and of course, spending time with Chiew Mei, Ling-Jen, Valmond and Jacinth. Add on Sam, Hui QIng, Zongwei, Chun Ying, YuYun, Priscilla Lua, Hwee Han and Maggie... the night did go well... Yesterday was also Melissa and Jacinth's birthdays... celebrated Liss's in style... haha... cake at the beach... and JAcinth and I took a picture whereby I carried her... haha... had a nice time... :)

Suddenly feeling like the time is passing so fast... like yesterday... we reached the pit at 7++ pm, and like, as I was talking, the time just kept flying until suddenly it was already 9++ pm... and by 10pm, I had to leave. So, Chiew, Ling-Jen and I went off... and on the way back, Sarah Ee smsed me... haiz... and the three of us were really saddened... wanted so badly to help her, but there was so little we could do... then, Chiew opened up to me more in the car, and I realised that actually, she's a very strong and independent girl... :) I like Chiew... she's such a nice girl, and her words and everything are always so heartfelt and true... I found another wonderful friend in Chiew... :)

I can't help but think about everything that has happened so far... and I wish that it would slow down... singing council song yesterday almost made me cry... argh... gotta stop being emotional over these things le... haiz... but how to? I really am going to miss everything... and everyone so so so much... haiz...

Dear Mandy...

Okayz... now it's time to update you on Orientation. Well, I had my re-assessments in the midst of Orientation, and I passed Maths re, but flunked physics and chem re.... haiz... I really have to buck up for this year and do well for my studies... I don't have much choice. Must buck up...

Okay, for Orientation, I'm attached to Triton... together with Chiew Mei, Chun Ying, YuYun, Hwee Han, Priscilla, Jacinth, Sara, Lynette, Zahida, YunXin, Ling-Jen, Hui Qing, Bingliang, Sam, Valmond, Joel, James, Kylash and Tze Yeong. My OG is a good OG... the OGLs are enthusiastic and spontaneous... and they are appreciative and sensitive too... I really am glad to have been in Triton. And I got closer to Chiew, and my boyfren, Chun, and Jacinth.... Of course, Hwee, Pris, Ling-Jen and Hui Qing are nice to me, and Kylash, Sam were great too. Haiz... I love Triton...

Being mass dance I/C and in charge of teaching the mass dances, I really am appalled at the response I get from the OGLs... everyone is so supportive of me... and I'm really upset that I couldn't be as good as you all would have wanted it to be... there were so many restrictions... Cheering went pretty well, and the warm-ups were totally creative! Haha... can't help but like the warm-ups... :P

But of course, as in every event, and especially for one that lasted 5 days, there are the downs to the event as well... There were some instances whereby I got pissed off at the Councillors, and especially for certain people... it's like... haiz... nvm... just that I realised that some people are not what they seem to be, and some people have been hiding things for a long long time.

Then at nite-o, the last time we will ever be dancing the SDD dance... It was so sad.... and the way we made our entrance... they announced each couple's names... and then, the reaction we all got was so fantastic... It was truly a moment to remember... the dance went quite smoothly... but when it ended, i cried on Kristy mei's shoulders... I was just so sad... and don't even talk about after nite-o... Triton OGLs went around hugging each other, thanking each other, and we ended up in a group hug and I cried again. Haha...

Then today's sea regatta... OGLs basically had nothing much to do... so we ended up dunking everyone we saw. And staying in the sea of course. That was fun... then Yunxin dislocated her knee while dancing mass dance... and it was so bad that we had to call an ambulance.She was crying very badly, coz it hurt a lot a lot... and we were all kinda freaked out... I still am, actually, but I hope Yunxin gets better... she's a nice girl...

Finally... on to the end... when sea regatta ended... I cried badly. This time on Shahidah and Priscilla Li's shoulders...It was over so fast... too fast in fact... I can't believe it... haiz... it's study time alright... and once this week is over, it's pure mugging time...

I'm really happy with the way my friendship with her is blossoming... this is a new her I'm talking about... haha... As in, I dunno... I just hope things get better between us as time goes by... :)

Okayz, been quite an entry already, and it's kinda late... shall hit the sack soon... take care Mandy...