Dear Mandy,

I just watched this movie: "Sand Chronicles", and it is a really good story plot, and the camera angles, as well as the wonderful scenery, make for a memorable movie. Although the story development is a bit slow, but nonetheless, I quite like the slow, tender development, the way the story jumps forwards and backwards, and plays pretty much with the initial analogy given at the start of the movie.

"Sand Chronicles" talks of the story of Ann and Daigo, and their love story. Ann moved to Shimane, a village in Japan set in rural forested area, when her mother divorced, to live with her grandmother. On the way there, her mother and her stop at the world's biggest hourglass, where the sand in the hourglass is set to time a full year. Her mother buys her an hourglass, and together, they continue their journey to Shimane. There, she meets Daigo, and a blossoming friendship begins. Ann's mother commits suicide, and Daigo helps her get through.

When Ann's father turns up, Ann is to move to Tokyo to live with her father. As Daigo and Ann walk along a beach, Ann passes him her hourglass, indicating her love for Daigo, and there, they make their first confessions that they like each other, and a pact to be together. Ann then moves to Tokyo, and thus begins their long distance relationship.

The distance does cause rifts, confusions and a lot of other things for Daigo and Ann, and as Ann went back to Shimane to visit, Ann lets her emotional nature take precedence, and Daigo is badly affected by it. Convicted by Fuji, a mutual friend, Ann runs to find Daigo, and their reunite happily. However, it is short-lived, because Shiiji, Fuji's sister who likes Daigo, plays on Ann's emotional nature, and causes Ann to let go of Daigo, because she doesn't want to be a burden to him. Needless to say, Daigo was broken.

Fast forward 6 years later, and Ann comes back to attend a gathering, bringing with her her fiance. In attending the reunion, Daigo arranges to meet Ann. When they do, he returns her the hourglass at the same beach that she gave it to him, and Daigo wishes her all the best. They part as friends, but Ann and Daigo both think back to the past in their own quiet moments.

Ann's husband finds out about the cause of death of Ann's mother, and in a heated argument, the engagement is annulled. Badly affected and emotional, Ann breaks the hourglass given to her, and it heightens her depression. She does what her mother did years ago: slit her wrists, and die at the beach. Daigo, aware of her absence through Ann's grandmother, goes to the beach to find her, and saves her.

Almost 6 months later, Ann and Daigo meet at the largest hourglass again to witness the changeover of sides and the sand was reaching the end of one year. At the same beach, Daigo proposes to Ann.

I like the movie, because of the scenery and the way that it was filmed? But I find that the way the camera angles and the still shots are done are amazing. Kaho and Matsushita Nao have really great on-screen presence, and the emotions captured are good. Of course, I feel Claire Danes still does on-screen stills and face focus shots best, but Kaho and Matsushita Nao do it relatively well.

I like the analogy that was given at the start, when the then young Ann played by Kaho was given the hourglass by her mother. Her mother said "The sand in the upper part represents the future, the passage that the sand passes through is the present, and the sand in the lower part represents the past." Then Ann inverts the hourglass, and said "Now the past is also the future." I was impressed with how the story turns one full plot around, to represent that... because Ann went through what her mother went through, but the difference is that she survived and she learnt an important lesson and became much stronger, evident when she accepts Daigo's proposal through confidently saying "leave your happiness in my hands."

I also really like this quote that Daigo said to Ann when she expressed her desire to be stronger. He said "坚强来自柔弱." And this is amazing. It's like.. the theory of judo or taichi, where the soft can overcome the hard... I think in the Bible, many parables and paradoxes apply this strategy too, like how "a gentle answer turns away wrath." and so on... and I really like it.

So, from this movie, what's my take on it? Love comes when you least expect it, and love is quietly doing all you can for the happiness and bliss of your other half. It doesn't matter if your other half never finds out, because you don't expect reciprocity, and you don't expect anything in return. You just want the other person to be happy.

And that should be what love is. It ties in really well with my previous post on why we give. We give because we want the other person to be happy, and we do the things that help the other person to be successful. We don't do it from our perspective, but we do it from their perspective. Trying to assure them, applying their love language, being unconditional yet sincere... it's hard to define love? But 1 Corinthians 13 does it relatively well, but there's more to learn, and more to see.

I trust that someday, I too will experience this sort of tender sweetness. =)

Dear Mandy,

As I have returned from the BOTC Residential Weekend, I have to admit, it has been a very very good break, and one that drew me back to being a tad reflective, because I was in close proximity with nature.

Imagine. Waking up to catch the sunrise off a beautiful jetty. It kinda sums up the entire experience.

There were so many memories that have been made there..

1) Showering, and with my hair shampooed, the water supply gets cut off. Thank God for angels like Javen who passed me a 1.5l water bottle filled with water so I could wash off.

2) Latin American Ballroom dancing helps you balance. =P

3) Paintball is a painful affair...

4) I climbed a coconut tree, and was one rung short of completing it. Oh well.. but kudos to Xiao Yun, Yvette and Poon who completed it! =)

5) Water obstacle courses can be rather interesting.

6) I wanted so badly to stay at the Tanjong Piai Taman Negara Mangrove nature reserve for a longer period of time because of the sea, the breeze, and the tranquility that came at this jetty where it had this big signboard directing you and telling you the distance to various countries in the world... It was amazing. =)

7) We cooked using solid fuel and charcoal on pots, pans and mess tins. I helped cook the vegetables, but the meal that all of us combined to whip up was fantastic.

8) We creatively used coconut husks and dry grass as substitute fuel when we ran out of fuel.

9) It was so much fun to be driven by a tractor up 1.7km just so that we could complete the trek that we set out to do. The locals are so helpful.

10) I made lots of new friends, and drew closer to my NYP Mentors.

11) I sat by the jetty and watched sunrise. And I didn't even feel sleepy.

The sunrise epitomised what this weekend did for me. It was a weekend of hope. Hope that things would be better, hope that we would be better equipped to lead, hope that we can make a difference.

I don't know... but as I head back to reality and the pending examinations, part of me really wants to stay back at Tanjong Piai, or to fly over to Canada right away.

But the Lord has plans for me here in SG. So I will be diligent.

Trust me... I know it won't be easy, and I may struggle. But in the end, I will trust God... For He will provide, as He did the residential weekend for me to rest, have fun, and rekindle my hope. =)

Indeed, it's a new sunrise in my heart.

Dear Mandy,

THE ULTIMATE PROTEST

"Although the Bible usually speaks to broad principles rather than specific guidelines on monet, it does present one action open to all of us. We can disarm the power of money, and we do that by giving it away.

It made no sense for a widow to donate her last few pennies to a corrupt and crumbling institution in Jerusalem. But in that woman's act, Jesus saw a moving display of the proper spirit of money. It is best used when we give it away.

Gordon Cosby of the Church of the Savior in Wshington, D.C. tells the story of a widow whose income was barely adequate to feed and clothe her six children. Every week she had been faithfully placing four dollars into the offering plate. A deacon suggested that Cosby go to the widow and assure her that she could put the money to other use for her family's benefit.

Cosby followed the deacon's advice, to his everlasting regret. The widow responded with great sadness. "You are trying to take away the last thing that gives me dignity and meaning," she said. She had learned a key to giving, which she was clinging to at all costs.

The key is this: the main benefit of giving is in it seffect on the giver. Yes, people in Africa and India need my fnancial help, as the fund-raising appeals urgently remind me. But in truth my need to give is every bit as desperate as their need to receive.

The act of giving best remindsme of my place on earth. All of us live here by the goodness and grace of God - like the birds in the air and the flowers of the field, Jesus said. Those creations do not worry about future security and safety; neither should we. Giving offers me a way to express my faith and confidence that God will care for me just as God cares for the sparrow and lily."
- Philip Yancey, Money booklet

As I pondered on this over a night reading about 4 to 5 days ago, I really wondered.

Every one talks about how giving is more blessed than to receive, and I do agree to that. But has anyone ever discussed about over-giving? In relationships I know that this is discussed, but what about as a person in our normal everyday relationships...

I don't know, but I kinda believe in a ideal world (ok, make that MY ideal world), there is such a thing as mutual reciprocity in everything. Meaning that people both give and take. Perhaps when we look at the Bible, where it says "It is more blessed to give than to receive", I think that it is in the context of giving to the people in need, who really need it? And the important thing that I think we tend to overlook is the heart in giving. Are you giving out of love, or out of sympathy, or what? This is, to me, equally as important as the act of giving, because it is what encompasses the essence and the meaning of the word give.

We don't give because we are told to, or we are ordered to, or we feel compelled to. We give because we WANT TO OUT OF LOVE, and that is what makes us smile and feel blessed. Because when we give out of love, we are giving to help make them successful, and we're giving because we genuinely want what's best for them, and we're considering from their point of view. With that in mind, then sometimes, not helping can be a form of love. It all boils down to what is your definition of giving: are you giving from your perspective of what might benefit the other person, or are you giving for the other person's benefit?

Dear Mandy,

And just as I made that previous post, heard some news that made me think twice about it.

Of course, what I feel is that have I been immersed in myself that I forgot to consider the other's well-being and opinions?
I'm wondering.

Dear Lord,
Show me what I have done wrong, correct me if need be. Let my heart be yours to mould and transform, and let the outward manifestation reflect Your inward transformation in me. Help me to improve, and teach me Your ways.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Dear Mandy,

Latin Cha Cha: The 'New York'

Latin Rumba

Today I danced Latin Cha Cha and Rumba for almost a good 3 to 4 hours, and though my feet are sore, my head is swimming from all the new steps that I've learnt, but my heart is soaring. My heart feels liberated, and I feel joy that I haven't felt for a long time. Today has been a good day, though I didn't get any work done (ok, I will have to put in more effort tomorrow), but at least I found the liberation and the breather that I need from all the other things in my life.

I went for a run in the morning with Jasmine Goh and Isaac, and also static exercises. Then we had breakfast at LJS. For people who haven't gone to LJS to have their breakfasts before, you seriously don't know what you're missing out on. I personally think it's way better than KFC or McDonald's. =)

Then went home for a bit, before heading down for ballroom dance. And I enjoyed every moment of it. Though at times, due to the speed of the download of the new steps, I lost myself, messed up, and at times, even got disoriented, but I am loving every minute of it. Be it the romantic expression of the rumba, or the speed and cheekiness of latin cha cha, they lightened up my heart.

I just needed to dance. That's all I needed. =)
God really came true in restoring me through dance, which is always my prayer when I go for dance classes. I am thankful. =)

Dear Mandy,

There're a lot of emotions running through my head, and a lot of thoughts, and I'm actually rather concerned.

Precisely because this is a public blog, I shan't go into details here, but I've been watching Power Rangers Jungle Fury of late (yes yes, laugh away, why don't you. =P), and there was this one episode, where Master Swoop took the Blue Ranger, Theo, for training, because Theo was unable to be focused on one thing. In order to meet expectations, Theo said that since young, he had to learn to multi-task so that he could be on top of things. It's expected of him.

It led me back to think about my current state of affairs. Is it expected of me to also be able to multi-task and balance everything out? I seriously wonder. I don't admit that for a lot of things, I'm running... sometimes even sprinting. And the effects are seriously taking its toll on me. Thank God for the people that He places in my life who withhold responsibilities from me because I may be having too much (Jim, Jasmine Tan), and people who are there to hear me when I need to rant, and who keep me in prayer (Audrey, Lauretta, Kristy, Prisc, Shaun, Jin Hui, Jim, Kaiting, Yvonne, Steffi, Michelle).

Today, on a sudden inspiration, I re-read "An hour to live, An hour to love". And once again, was struck by the simplicity of how Richard Carlson views life, and the way Kristine Carlson encourages us to love. There is so much emotion, thoughts and questions that the book has raised within me, and I now know, for a certain, that I am in need of one thing: I need to reflect on my life, and I should really see what I need to do.

Richard Carlson answered this question: "If you had only one hour to live, who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting?" But towards the end of his letter, he wrote "What is going to make us happy and content is that 'critical inch', the stuff we will talk about in that final hour of our life. We need to make choices in our lives right now based on what's truly important." I read it, and gave it much thought as the train sped through.

Who would I be talking to in my final hour on earth? What would I be doing? That's really a question I'd have to answer. Richard Carlson would spend it with Kristine and his children. Who would I spend mine with? And what would I do?

Then he said this "happiness comes not from getting what we want, but instead, from wanting what we have". And it's rather interesting. Because he tapers off with "I see now that life is all about love, sharing, compassion and kindness."

I think that we should all do some re-evaluation of our lives huh? =)

There may be people who would look at what I've typed and think "that's me! I've been living my life like that!" And I'd ask you to think clearly, which aspect of what I've written, or rather, what Richard Carlson has written, are you really living. Is it the carpe diem part? Is it the happiness part? Is it part about what life is all about? Because I can safely say... we all need to work on some part or other.

Meeting up with Kristy Koh, and hearing her update, also made me rethink about that... Kristy is by and large one of the most important friends in my life.. and hearing her out, made me really think about it. We may not meet up as often as others do? But she still understands me so much better than those who meet up with me very often do. And it made me understand the true meaning of friendship.

Audrey Aw, Prisc, Kaiting, Yvonne, Kristy Koh... being perfectly honest.. these are the people that no matter how busy I am, I'll make time to meet them. I realised that when Kristy asked if she could meet me to catch up 2 weeks ago, and I initially asked if we could meet after my assignments... but God seemed to tell me that I should meet her. So despite having an assignment due tomorrow, I made time. And I didn't regret it one bit.

Who is really important to you? And what would you do if you had one hour left to live? I'd daresay that if I were to die in the next hour, I'd call these 5 people up.

Of course, then comes the next question, and one I'm still uncertain how to answer...
What are you waiting for?

Dear Mandy,


It'd be nice to have days like these. =)

Dear Mandy,

Ever came across a similar situation in the comic? Sometimes, I feel that life's all about it.

We don't seem to have answers, so we come up with some that satisfies ourselves and confuses others. Alternatively, we listen to others' views and then somehow adopt it for our own.

How quaint.

God has all the answers, and a wise leader once told me that God will reveal His answers to us in His time. Which kind of let me wonder if the only time we'll really hear the answer to life's greatest philosopical answers is when we meet Him in heaven?

I wonder. And I digress.

The need for critical thinking has been stressed in a module often of late, and it makes me wonder about it. If we were to adopt critical thinking towards everything, would the simplicity of life be lost? Because in everything we encounter, we'd be thinking of alternative explanations, questioning the validity of the issue, demanding logical justifications and above all else, trying to convince ourselves why this it true, or in some cases, not true.

Life would not be all that fun.

But could an issue of a lack of critical thinking be the problem with the world today? That because kids increasingly become lazy, or are too attuned to deriving things the fast way, they fail to critically examine their actions, the social norms today, and the results that come from it.

A balance is needed. But who can give that balance? I can't for sure. I admit it.

I'll just trust God. =)

Dear Mandy,



This MTV and the song never fails to cheer me up, and I especially love Seohyun and Kyuh Hun's story.. if you don't know who they are, it's the story about the big headed dolls.. with Sunny's story a close second.

Ok, the MTV aside, I'm finally starting to settle down, and know that actually, I have a bit more time on my hands than I thought I did... Lee Min called me yesterday, and we had a long, almost 3 hours conversation.. haha... And there's something she said that really struck me:

"You're just too used to people telling you 'you're just too busy to meet up', that you've started to not do anything about it."

Kinda ouch, but with lots of truth in it. Lee Min and I go way back, our friendship stemming ever since Primary 5, and lasting all the way now, and if there's one person that despite it all, remains awfully chummy with me, despite us meeting only like once every 1.5 years, I guess it's her. So, we can be very blunt and to the point with each other, and her outlook on life always attempts to be the most realistic and optimistic. Thank God for this friend of mine, because I really see that it's me. =)

People always get busy, and they use it as an excuse. But if I find that I have more time than expected, then there's always a few ways I can use it. Today, I decided to use Kristy's constant recommendation for me: make time for myself to do what I want to do. So I made sure I finished some work, but at the same time, I dedicated whatever spare time I had to myself... and for some reason, I felt guilty.

So I spent some time in worship and went for a run. God is good.. because I realise that worship is essentially about God... and praising God is a choice, but it is the best option you can ever have.

And God just sent His peace over me. =)

Dear Mandy,

Sighz?

=)

Dear Mandy,

These are part of the reasons why I love being in the EL batch of 2007 from NUS FASS. =)

*Loves*

Dear Mandy,

Much going through my mind, and much to settle.

I understand clearer now Shakespeare's famous line in Hamlet:

"To be or not to be, that is the question."

Well, it's always a choice what we want to be. And expectations, society and many other things always have that clear cut definition of who THEY want you to be.

If you're smart, then there's the expectations that you'll maintain that level of academic excellence. It doesn't matter if you have low EQ. You just need to maintain that.

If you're capable, then everyone expects you to always be efficient and able to make ends meet. You can never make an error judgment, because you aren't supposed to be overwhelmed. You're capable, remember? So no matter what comes, you can handle it.

Or is that so?

God's greatest gift is choice.

And I kind of believe, that God never intended us to feel that way. That we need to maintain expectations, that we need to continue to be somebody that others see us as. Not what we see ourselves as.

As humans, we're innately selfish. Even I admit I am. So let's put aside the pretences for this one moment and admit that we are all selfish people. We care for ourselves more than others. We are not selfless because we cannot afford to be self-less.

And for me as a Christian, I acknowledge that it is God that gives us the capacity to love.

Perhaps the question to ask is how close are we walking with God? I know that the recent weeks it's been a rocky journey. And as recent events show, it does reveal much to me. Wherever is the innocence and childlike naivity that we used to exude, or rather, that we are supposed to exude?

Perhaps, seemingly lost.

And then we come back to square one all over again. Ugh.

But.. when we come back to square one... is it really the same square one? Or the square one of a newer level?

I'd like to think we've learnt from our experiences and somewhat start at a different square one.

So.. I will be stronger, and I will be more guarded. Because gradually, I see clearer what I believe in.

Dear Mandy,

I am somewhat overwhelmed, yet somewhat overly blessed. =)

Overwhelmed because somehow, everything is getting to me.

Overly blessed because of my EL Cohort and my NUS Open Cell's mooncake festival celebrations that were held on thursday and saturday respectively. Thank God for them.... And overly blessed because of the fact that I not only spent quality time with Jasmine Goh and Isaac Ng over running in the morning and over a drink, I danced 3 hours straight of ballroom, and my dance partner Michelle has been such an affirming and endearing sister... I should really count my little blessings.

Thank God for Jasmine Tan, Peace, Fei Ting, Jeannette, Talia, Putri, Isaac Ng, Jasmine Goh and Surong.
Thank God for Deborah, Amanda, Liyun, Justin and John.
Thank God for Michelle Tan, Pei Zhi, Siew Ping, Yuan Ting, Wing Yee, Bridget, Poh Yee, HuLin and the dance seniors and instructors...

It's people like these that sometimes make me feel like there's more to life than just stuff. =)

Dear Mandy,

歌词：

我是真的爱你爱到不灰心
你也许难以相信
所以离开我去证明
我闭上眼睛天空变得透明
阳光温柔蒸发所有泪滴
不问回音让爱继续
我是真的爱你爱到不成比例的专一
疼惜你想飞的孩子气
我用我的孤寂换你自由的呼吸
我是真的爱你留在世界边缘呼唤你
用我不够华丽却是唯一坚持的声音
等你终於倾诉我是真的爱你
(音乐演奏)
你是可以放弃我却不能忘记
请让他溺爱倔强的你舍不得你偷偷哭泣
我是真的爱你爱到不成比例的专一
疼惜你想飞的孩子气
我用我的孤寂换你自由的呼吸
我是真的爱你留在世界边缘呼唤你
用我不够华丽却是唯一坚持的声音
等你终於倾诉我是真的爱你
(音乐演奏)
我是真的爱你留在世界边缘呼唤你
用我不够华丽却是唯一坚持的声音
等你终於倾诉我是真的爱你
我是真的爱你
(我是真的爱你)

Dear Mandy...


See the peas in the pan? That's kinda how I feel at certain times of the year.

And right now, I feel like that.

I feel like a pea rattling about in a great big pan with other peas..
Not sure where I fit in or belong to...

And somehow... I doubt you'll ever know why. =)

These days, I just kinda feel happier being alone. Or at least, with the closest friends I have talking to me and around me... I'm not being anti-social. I just need time to myself.

Time where it's just me and God.
Time where it's just me and myself.
Time where it's just me and that small group of friends who have earned the right to be within my immediate circle, who know what I'm going through, and who have seen me through my tears and my failings.

Yes. Them.
And you'll know if you're one of them, because you just would. =)
I'm not one to keep that fact to myself. =)

Sigh. Recess week is almost over. =)
What have I done? Much, actually.

What have I achieved? That.. I really don't know. =)

Just being prayerful. =)

Dear Mandy,

Ballroom dance has been fantastic. =)

Love the dances I'm doing, love the new friends I've made, love my new dance partner.

Worried about the choice I may have to make. =)

Dear Mandy..

How fast time flies...

In the blink of an eye, it's already Week 5 of the semester. Life has such a funny way of doing things.. and God has an even greater sovereignty over them all.

I doubt that it's a coincidence that all the ongoing lessons and even the QTs that I'm doing are mostly talking about one of the following:

God's faithfulness
The heart of things
Prayer

And it's perhaps a call to return to the basics. And as I struggle to keep to my new regime of morning and night QT, and the seemingly impossible to overcome things on my hand, I somehow... find that it is so easy to fall into a defeatist attitude.

But the Lord has overcome the grave, which gives us the greatest power to break free and overcome.
But He has also given us the authority of choice, in which He honours greatly.

And such, it comes back to ourselves. Difficult as it may be, what is our posture towards responsibility and commitment, and what is our heart and attitude towards that particular posture, and even in the responses, be it negative or positive? These are questions that have given me a very strong revelation of late.

What is my own posture, and what is my attitude and heart? Is it good, is it bad? I have no idea. And that brought me to yet another thread... do I really know myself? And what are my motivations for doing the things that I do? Are they personal, are they for others, or are they for God? I'm at a loss.

Which then brought me to yet another train of thought. WHY do I not know?

And then I realise that I'm once again falling into the defeatist attitude, which isn't what God wants.

So what next? I'm going to find out. And instead of saying I will, and not doing it, it's time to act out what I say, and just go do it. Despite the heavy inertia and the overwhelming workload... I know that I have more time than I think I do.

I'll keep trying. =)

Dear Mandy,

My song of the moment...

許願

女︰我喜歡回味　記憶的美
讓人懂得感謝
男︰你現在讓誰　聽你喜悅
陪你掉眼淚

男︰嘿　好久不見
合︰請　你許個願
男︰要感情不再那麼容易變
合︰讓心不被距離拉得太遙遠

男︰我寄了張卡片
合︰地址是感覺　收件人叫永遠
像是你又遞來一杯熱咖啡
生活有了你的溫柔調味

男︰我寄了張卡片
合︰畫你的笑臉　寫祝福的留言
請把我的名字默念一百遍
好夢就會趁你睡醒實現

男︰我習慣感覺　記憶的美
能讓溫柔不滅
女︰你現在讓誰　吻你的臉
疼你的一切

女︰嘿　好久不見
合︰請　你許個願
女︰要感情不再那麼容易變
合︰讓心不被距離拉得太遙遠

女︰我寄了張卡片
合︰地址是感覺　收件人叫永遠
像是你又遞來一杯熱咖啡
生活有了你的溫柔調味

女︰我寄了張卡片
合︰畫你的笑臉　寫祝福的留言
請把我的名字默念一百遍
好夢就會趁你睡醒實現

Dear Mandy,

My EL Honours Room. =)
A place where new memories are constantly being made daily...
A place where I know we'll remember in days to come.

Kaiting and Yvonne...
Two wonderfully lovely friends that I made taking EL3204: Semantics and Pragmatics... it's funny how we got so close. But a friendship I cherish a lot. =)


RP 5 at Nicole's 21st birthday party...
It constantly amazes me to see how God works.
Despite not being their direct mentor, I managed to make good friends here. =)

Lastly...
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY TO ALL TEACHERS! =)

Dear Mandy,

NYP Primers at the NDP Appreciation night

RP 5 Motivators at NDP Appreciation Night

NDP is over, and with it come many memories... as is always the case with the culmination of an event that took such a long time, it came with memories, with friendships, and what really surprised me were tears. =)

My words to my Green Sector Motivators

This was given to me by the entire RP5.

This was given to me by a clique in RP5... Yizhen, Nicole, Darika, Jasmine, Marc, Samuel, Kai Jie.

This was given to me by NYP primers. =)

I guess even as NDP comes to a close, the memories that have been created, and the time spent, and the blood, sweat and tears.. they really mean a lot. =)

Even as I've started a new semester in NUS, I still feel like I'm rattling around, trying to balance out everything, trying to adjust. And knowing that I forgot abt the 160MCs worth for graduation kind of makes me feel rather -_-", but I believe that God has a plan that I know not of, and that will be for the better good. I believe.

But oh well.. =)
I'm just slowly trying out everything and, as my covenant comes to it's final month, I'm finding it harder and harder to keep to it. Also, I just feel tired and lethargic, and I have absolutely no idea why.. I'll keep praying. =)

Dear Mandy...
What would you do if you fell suddenly from being a rich millionaire to a servant girl with nothing left? How would you react to life? What would you do?

Adapted from Frances Hodgson Burnett's "A Little Princess", Shokojo Seria (A Litte Princess: Sara), does have the same storyline, with little twists, but also, with much more to understand and to hold at hand.

"Every girl is a Princess."

Seria's constant mantra for herself. Her staunch belief in the fact that every girl is a Princess, and no matter what the circumstances, they shouldn't belittle themselves, or lose their self-belief, because they are all Princesses.

When Seria is admitted to Millenius Seminary, a prestigious boarding school for Japanese teenage girls, life is rosy and beautiful in the beginning. Under the helm of Mimura Chieko, the headmistress, the Seminar focuses on etiquette, upbringing and an all-rounded wholistic education. However, the sudden death of Seria's father results in Seria losing her status as a student, and is instantly demoted to be a servant of the school, as there is no longer any capital for Seria to sustain her school fees and boarding fees.

Seria's classmates all love Seria for her optimistic and happy-go-lucky personality, though Takeda Maria, the top student feels threatened and jealous. Seria does make a few good friends though, in the form of the other servant, Kaito, who loves to study, and loves to read Shakespeare, and Masami, a rather dim-witted woman, but loyal to Seria to the core. Also, the two mice in the attic bedroom, Nemi and Zumi, who keep Seria company.

The trials and tribulations throughout the 10 episode drama brings you through an emotional roller coaster, and I really agree with what Seria goes through, and in some sense, can understand how she feels. The hard work, the shame, the loneliness, and the slamming of words and actions from the headmaster, Maria, and the chefs... they are all so hard to bear at times. Seria, being human of course, isn't always as cheerful and bright, but she attempts to be. In the process, she sheds the subconscious mentality of being a rich lady, and gradually learns to understand, sympathise and be sensitive to the thoughts, views and perceptions of others, while remaining true to her own staunch beliefs and views.



She even develops a small romance with Kaito, and meets the unorthodox yet pedagogically inclined teacher, Aran, who teaches English, French and Japanese. Such little things are what encourages Seria to continue walking down that path, to go through life, and to make the best of what she can.

Seria taught me a lot.
I realised through watching Seria, that the perspective that I adopt towards things, and the hardworking, never-say-die, sensitive nature of myself has been somewhat lost. And it is quite sad, when I realise the reasons that made me lose those aspects. I'm not contented with that, and I guess I want to be better. Enough of complaining, enough of lamenting... other than those that have truly truly earned the right to be my closest friends. =)

In the process of toiling, Seria eventually leaves the Seminary, but ends up being found by a childhood friend who Seria's father helped to regain his composure, and Seria finds herself reinstated to the prestige that she once had. She buys over Millenium Seminary, to help it get out of their financial constraint, and through her sweet nature, wins over even Headmaster Chieko, who hates Seria due to the shadows of Seria' mother (Chieko and Seria's mother were schoolmates), helps to release Kaito so that he can go to study, and enters back into school at Millenius Seminary. I won't spoil the ending for you though. =)

It's funny to see the things that you can learn from a Japanese drama. Be it the tender compassion, love and optimism that Seria exudes, to the gentle care and encouragement Kaito shows to Seria, or even to the eventual overcoming personal hatred to form a compassionate relationship.. there's much to learn. I do like Seria and Kaito, but I find Seria's classmate, Kaoru, the most interesting.


Kaoru's the girl holding the glass in the picture above. She's a recluse herself... always refusing to be involved in the ongoings of the class, but observes a lot, and understands people through her quiet way of observing. Contented to not be the first, as she dislikes the attention given, Kaoru is the one who truly understands the situations, and each person's feelings, and in some sense, I feel like Kaoru. The only difference? I'm sociable, she's not that friendly. But she accommodates, and she doesn't treat people with disdain. Just that she's straightforward, and she's blunt... which I like. =)

Well, it's another Jap drama, and much to learn! I think that we can see Godly values that we can pick up in this drama... and it's much to really be. =)

Dear Mandy...

Just some pictures of my week. =)

Some pictures from NDP... =) My lovely NYP motivators. Just so enthusiastic. =)

Dinner with BKC. =)

Fun, energy and joy at NDP.
Love, happiness and bliss with BKC. =)

Dear Mandy,

Having been dignosed with HFMD, I've spent the last few days at home, and am on Medical Leave until this coming Wednesday. It's given me a lot of pain, and it's been rather torturous, but it also allowed me to finish watching a Korean Drama, IRIS and also, a Nicholas Sparks' book-became-movie entitled "Dear John".

IRIS is an action drama that revolves around Kim Hyun Jun (played by Lee Byung Hyun), and his career as a Special Operations Military Personnel, and due to his outstanding performance, was selected to enter a top-secret National Organisation known simply as National Security Service (NSS). In the process, he meets Choi Seung Hee (played by Kim Tae Hee), and the two begin a blossoming romance.

A mission in Hungary starts the beginning of a period of difficulties, trials, and betrayal, leaving Hyun Jun and Seung Hee separated, and thinking that the other is dead. Hyun Jun is betrayed by Sang Woo, his long time buddy who entered NSS with him, and yet, is saved by this unknown person who Hyun Jun only knows as "Voice". As Hyun Jun regains his confidence and health, he starts to plot and launch an attack back on the people who betrayed him, and who allegedly determined his destiny for him. In the process, he wins over Kim Seon Hwa and Park Cheol Yong, agents from North Korea, and they uncover the existence of a society known simply as IRIS. In a change of events, Hyun Jun has to fight for something much greater than his own revenge, but uncovers along the way many secrets about his past, and even, rekindling his romance with Seung Hee.

I guess this drama is really nice and touching. I love the romance between Seung Hee and Hyun Jun, and also the build up of the story. But what disappoints me is the ending, which is all too sudden for me.. I shan't spoil it for people, but it is a relatively good drama that I'd recommend us to watch if we have the chance. =)

"Dear John" was a bit of an expectant film for me, given that I've read the book before, and I was quite immersed in the bittersweet and somewhat, nostalgic story of John Tyree and Savannah Curtis.

Basically, John Tyree is a Sergeant in the Special Forces of the United States Marines, I think, and while he's on vacation back home, he meets Savannah Curtis, a university student who's studying special education, by jumping off a jetty to save her purse. Sparks fly, and the next two weeks unravels into a romance that is honest, sincere and true. However, John returns for his tour of duty, and thus begins the most romantic thing ever: long letters to each other.


It's amazing how many letters they kept up... but when John nears the end of his year of duty, and heads home for a short weekend, Savannah is ecstatic, only to find that what what was supposedly only a few months, had to be a few years. John re-upped his tour of duty, and was duly sent to Afghanistan for the next 2 years of duty. In doing so, John left behind his autistic father, who has a passion for coin collecting ever since John stumbled upon a Jefferson Mule, and Savannah.

Time flew. But sometime in the span of his duty, Savannah stops writing. 2 months later, John receives a letter from her, only to realise that she had found someone else, and was getting engaged. Heartbroken and devastated, John burns the letters that he had received from her, and in an ensuing patrol, was shot. Upon his recovery, John signed an extended tour of duty, making it his career, and thus, began his solitary journey as a military sergeant. He was sent back to America for a period of time though, when he found out that his father suffered a stroke. He manages to reveal his true emotions to his father in a letter, and shortly after, his father passed away.

John goes to meet Savannah, and realises who her husband is. Upon discovering the lymphoma that her husband had, John meet up with an old friend, and stays for dinner with Savannah. In a heated exchange, John realises the pain Savannah went through, and how much she still really loves him, but being the man that John was, John left shortly after a moment of sharing about the places he had been.

While back in Afghanistan, he receives a letter suddenly, and realises that Savannah wrote to him. The letter, sweet and short, leads to a very different ending from the story.. and one that I think I like more. =)

There are a few things that I like about this movie.. the first is how letters are the main form of communication of love, of emotions, of happenings, of change... seeing how this movie brings back the romantic and authentic meaning of hand written letters makes me smile.
I like the mutual exchange of farewells! It's always "I'll see you soon then." Which to both of them is an indication that it's a matter of time before they'll see each other again. Which is why when John leaves Savannah's house after his dad died, and Savannah said "I'll see you soon then.", she almost pleaded with John to reply the same words to her. John, knowing the indication of these words, simply said "Goodnight." It's amazing isn't it? The pragmatics of it all. What was once commonplace, when broken, can mean so much.
Lastly.. I like the simple nature, and the raw emotions between them. I guess I can relate to them, because after all, my only serious relationship ended while I was serving my time in the army. This movie does change my impression of Amanda Seyfried though. =)

So thus ends my movie and drama post. =P

Dear Mandy


Well, 6 of the 07 Batch of EL majors have graduated officially as of 12 July 2010. And it is with bittersweet feelings that we bid farewell to them. There were more who graduated, but we didn't manage to see them, and also, there were our seniors who graduated as well.

I'm really going to miss them.
Xuan Yu and William: Two wonderful EL Genuises.
Alex: A happy-go-lucky woman with a bright smile.
Rashes: Part of BKC, someone who is very open and friendly, and always ready for a laugh.
Isaac: Crazy gym partner of mine, but superbly efficient and dependable.
Jasmine: A very gentle, kind and sweet woman, who has become one of my closest confidantes.

We didn't really feel the sadness until all of them left us collectively to go into the auditorium for their graduation, and that was when Peace and I looked at each other, and said "It feels so sad!".

3/5 of BKC have graduated. Wow.

It wasn't until then that I realised how much I would miss them, and that I really didn't cherish the times that we had with each other in our university days together. Times where we could have shared more... times where we could have spent time together.. each of us caught in our own little world of commitments, responsibilities and classes.

But despite it all, each of us remaining close, each of us keeping each other in our thoughts... and more importantly, each of us promising to keep in touch. Whatever happens 5 years down the road, I know not of, but one thing is for sure... this batch of EL Majors is something different. We're bonded, we're close.. and I believe that we'll still meet up occasionally once in a while. I'm looking forward to that. =)

So to the graduates, CONGRATULATIONS! KEEP IN TOUCH AND TAKE CARE!!!
We will miss you guys.

Dear Mandy...


Well, the elementary Jive and Tango class has officially come to an end, and honestly, I've really liked jive. Samba and jive have been so much fun! And in this class, we've all bonded as a family. From dancing with Cheryl, to finding a sister from FCBC in Eileen, to knowing Stacey, Yuan Ting, Katie, Alice, Agnes, Beatrice, Nick, Andrew, Ethan, Shawn, Don, Chyaw Chyaw and many others...

Today we had this mini competition.. and Allan was so much more humorous and friendly today. From hi-fiving us, to joking with us.. it was rather amicable.. He split the class into 3 groups of 3 couples with an additional guy, and each group had to dance 5 dances. 3 jive and 2 tango.. and then he appointed me the leader of the white group. Now.. in the other groups, they each had a couple that were competing in a ballroom competition this coming weekend, and to top it all off, they each have at least one senior dancer. Well... never mind right, so with a quick prayer to God, and having to rise up as the leader of the group, I danced two jives, Stacey, being the one with the most experience (at only 16!), dance two tangos, and Beatrice, who's one of the better dancers, danced 2 jives as well.

So the order went this way:
1st Jive: Cheryl and I
1st Tango: Stacey and Nick
2nd Jive: Beatrice and Gerald
2nd Tango: Stacey and I-don't-know-what's-his-name
3rd Jive: Beatrice and I

Ok, so... the scores for the dances were rather uneven at times? But we were close I guess. We totally lost out in the 2nd jive, as the other two teams sent out their competitive jive teams, but we were competent enough! So at the end of it all, in the last jive, blue group sent out a strong team of a competitive male dancer in Hu Lin, and the SnB ballroom welfare IC in Michelle, whereas orange team sent out Jing (who's quite good), with Chyaw Chyaw, who's the ballroom vice-president... so imagine how shocked Beatrice and I were when we were tied with the same score for the blue team for first place in that round!

Though our group were 3rd in this mini-competition, we lost out to the 2nd group, orange by 0.5 points. Not bad considering we were made up of a group of amateurs who have never taken competitive dance before... we did really well, and I'm really proud of my team. Thank God for having pulled us through! =) There was much to be optimistic about.

Looking forward to the next course. =)

Dear Mandy...




I guess that this much is true? When you live your life thinking that everything is a miracle, then your whole perspective towards life changes.

I think that living in such a fast paced society, we tend to want more, better, and to always move on, achieving the next level. That sometimes... we forget to stop, marvel, and smell the flowers that we pass by on the road.

A wise man once said "Take time to stop and smell the flowers- we only pass through this life once."

Thinking back, I think I got caught too much in wanting to achieve a certain standard, that I forgot to marvel at what God has already done. Perhaps too often, we don't celebrate.. too often, we don't rejoice, even in the littlest things. I wonder since when achievements mattered more than the simple things in life that come for free. Things like love. Like joy. Like peace. Like hope.

Being honest.. over time, when you share about your experiences and achievements, you don't share about the material things, but you share about your emotions, your hardships... in short, what you FELT when you went through the ordeal.

It isn't the achievement that makes a memory.. it is the process that makes the memory. =)

SO... rejoice in the littlest things, for it is the smallest things that eventually make a big structure. =)

Dear Mandy...

So many thoughts that are running through my mind at the moment... haha.. I think every year, there're at least 5 times where I feel like this very old, cliched sentence that I use: "I feel like a pea rattling about in a great big pan with several other peas; not knowing where I fit in or belong."

Is it true? I think that it is in certain seasons of life. Be it in the eventful throes of situations, or the quiet tranquil moments of reflection, or even in the midst of company, we can feel that, and it often leads me to wonder where are we headed, what should we do, and above all... what is my purpose?

Sure enough, with God, those questions get answered... but I find myself thinking beyond myself, to the people around.. ok, specifically the people that I mentor and care for, and wonder in such situations, what can I do for them that would help them feel better. It varies from person to person, I realise... much akin to Dr. Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages", which in all honesty is actually quite apt.

But... what else is there? I think that modern society tends to see things on the peripheral, and very few think of the intricate cognitive works. A word to people is just a word at times. And more often than not, each person takes a word for what they prime it to be. Does anyone stop to think of how a word, when used in a different context, sheds the priming that it does? Does anyone consider the possibility of semantic prosody? Or do people stubbornly hold on to their own views, and then insistently stick to it, not realising the changes and adaptability of how a word can have so many different functions, connotations and implications when the surrounding supporting words change.

Is not the world as such too? That we adapt and change according to our surroundings. You wouldn't wear a winter jacket in summer to school, would you? And more importantly.. in the face of the ever changing trends of our society, what are our views and takes on it? And... above all else... what have we got on our hands, that enables us to make a difference? Or are we simply, as for the majority of us, just simply blind followers, who for the sake of brevity, self-comfort, ease or whatever it is, we stay in our comfort zones and don't move out.

While some accommodate, some assimilate, there are some who coerce others to conform to their thought of thinking and working. It's good, because there is a diversity of people to which all these somehow mingle and work together, and form a good working team. But then there lies the cracks that people tend to overlook, and human nature forms that potential unbinding component that breaks the priming that has been done from the very start. Well, not always, but sufficient times to draw a conclusion that human nature is a strong catalyst.

So what now? That's the big question. We've seen so much, and what can we do? Hahaha.. truth is I don't know. I do feel that we can do all we want, but change and learning begins with a simple choice that each individual makes. I don't know. I'm still trying to sort that out, and hopefully come to some sort of conclusion how best to balance out this unique diversity that is actually a healthy problem. =)

So at the end of the day, we still come back to God, whether it's our direct approach, or after one big round, only God knows. And am I glad I have this wonderful Saviour to guide my path! =)

Dear Mandy,

It's the start of a new week at work, and work here has been interesting, to say the least.
It's a new environment for me, but the learning curve is steep, and I'm still adjusting, being honest, to this new, but conducive and family-like place.

Things are on the uprise, but I guess that there's still much to do, think, and act on. At least the first step is done. Now, it's time to continue to look forwards, and to walk in that direction that God wants us to do.

I guess I don't know much, but I'll walk by faith, and trust that everything will work out in His time. =)

Dear Mandy...

I just bought Carole King and James Taylor's "Live at the Troubadour" cd, and hearing it really brings me back to Canada, where Jim and Nicola introduced me to Carole King's "Tapestry" cd, which, of all the music that I listened while over at Jim's place, Carole King is the one that I still listen to dearly, the other one being Ian Tyson.

And it really brings back memories, but even as I did listen to it, and I travel further back? I realise so much... how many memories have I missed out on? How many memories I didn't have to make? How many.. How many... the list is endless actually...

Oh well... perhaps it's just me? Or it could be how the world thinks? But I am suddenly very tempted to go against what is the norm of who I am, or how I'm supposed to be like, and just for once, do what I feel is right. What my priorities should be.

Perhaps being deviant never just meant going against the norm; it could also mean standing up for yourself and what you believe in.

Dear Mandy..

I just watched a completely hilarious Korean movie called "My girlfriend is an agent", and it was so funny! I laughed and laughed at the funny antics of the guy, Jae-Joon, and his girlfriend, Su-Ji.

So Su-Ji is an undercover espionage agent working for the government, and she ends up dating Jae-Joon, her college sweetheart. As her job requires, she has a fake background, and as Jae-Joon discovered her lies, broke up with her. 3 years later, at a chance encounter, they meet. And well, as can be expected, sparks and blows fly.

What is surprising is, Jae-Joon also has become an espionage agent working for the government, but in a separate agency. And he's new, he's bumbling, and he makes a heck of a mess of the tasks given to him. Apparently both parties are chasing the same deal, but different people. Where Su-Ji's team focuses on South Korean cases, Jae-Joon's team focuses on overseas cases. Coincidentally, both teams end up converging on the same case, as Jae-Joon's suspect is doing a trade deal with Su-Ji's suspect for a biological weapon.

Su-Ji meets up with Jae-Joon, and the end result is that they fight, but both realises that they haven't really forgotten each other, and the story takes a topsy-turvy tale, much akin to that of a sine curve, as their jobs causes them both to encounter each other in, shall I say, unexpected and disastrous circumstances. It was heart wrenching at times, and hilarious in others, to say the least. However, the end is a happy ending, cause I'm not spoiling it for you... a hilariously, sweet happy ending...

Well.. I somehow feel that the story line is nice, and the humour apt. And... the romance is a tad cliche? But all in all, it is a good heart-warming movie.
.
Honestly... just really like this movie and it's a must watch! =)

Dear Mandy..

Just some really nice and cute clip. =)



"Ooh La-La" by SNSD. =)



"Merry-Go-Round" by SNSD. =)



"Complete" by SNSD. =)



"Forever" by SNSD. =)

I think that these songs are simple, cute even, and I am really reminded of the simplicity of how love should be... Be it a dream, not knowing why one smiles... or how one is like a merry-go-round, where really, how long should one go before one can really be with somebody... or even, as a fairy tale, or to want to continue dreaming with somebody... Is it really as such? Should it? I don't know..

But all I know is this... that if love is truly true and simple.. then it requires effort to keep on going, but it is worth it, and it will be easy and simple.. because... you do it just because you love someone. =)

1 Corinthians 13 after all, kinda sums it up. =)

Dear Mandy..

In the midst of it all, as I reflect on the end of the exams, and look towards the next phase of life, I am a mixed furore of feelings.

I am glad the exams are over, but with NDP and Primers Camp looming ahead, I'm excited and also apprehensive at the same time. I feel so rusty, out of shape, and a little bit pensive as to the commitments and time management that loom ahead, but other than that.. I am quietly optimistic.

And with Jive and Tango lessons up and coming, where the first class was today, I was so excited and I love dancing ballroom! Thank God for Cheryl who attends class with me, it has been such a wonderful experience dancing with a friend, and sharing and talking... really quite fun. And the dance classes are increasingly fun, and I thank God, because the familiarity, and even the openness of the people, instructors and the ExCo of NUS SNB have been great. Dancing with two advanced dancers today was rather stressful, and I hope that it's because I am a relatively ok dancer. =)

The camp planning and prep are going well, and come the last two days before the camp begins, it's really about prayer and commitment. I'm really uncertain as to how it'll go, so I'm just going to commit it into God's hands, and pray for the best. =)

And of course, meeting up with Audrey. I wish that I could videotape every catch up session I have with Audrey Seah, Felicia and Joel Teng, because it almost always is a memorable experience. Aud's words that we're always on their minds and in their prayers is very touching, and the sharing that we did.. the affirmation that Aud gave.. and the insights we shared.. they are truly true and from the bottom of our hearts, and I give thanks for this wonderful sister of mine. =)

Onwards! =)

Dear Mandy..

Some really nice clips. =)



SNSD singing "Way to Go" =)



Tae Yeon singing "If", with Eng Subtitles. =)

Dear Mandy,

It's the end of April, and truth be told, I really think that it has been a very long semester. Couple it that the last day of April has an exam, and the first week of May culminates in a paper on Monday and a paper of Friday, and the packed schedule that I have ahead of me, I sometimes wonder what I've gotten myself into.

I know that it's difficult, and hey... anyone who sees the schedule and the hurdles that I've crossed in the last semester would probably say that it is challenging (not promoting myself here..), but I am very thankful. Because for some reason, there are always people who have been there to encourage me, pray for me, and bring me back on track. There even have been areas and avenues of short-term escapism, what with my beloved NUS FASS EL majors of 2007 gatherings, and our prayer points, to short but meaningful conversations with Chipmunk, and the more amusing ones with KT and Vonne.. it has been good. Thank God for these little avenues.

But the more I think of it, the more I realise also that there is much to be done. I honestly don't know if I have what it takes to make that difference, so I know that if anything, it's really up to God. I don't want to labour in vain, so I have to build my foundation on the rock that is the Lord. So... I don't know where to go from here.. and I don't know what else I can do. I'll just take it a step at a time.

Haha.. really some covenant this is. =) I'm beginning to realise that.

Dear Mandy,

It's week 13... and I actually have had mixed experiences and feelings about this semester.

My workload increased (well, which is typical as you take higher level modules), and my responsibilities increased. Truly truly as what God told me while I was in Canada, He really did prepare me for what is to come. Just to share, while I was in Canada, in one of my very common moments of sitting by the river side, or in running, or even in solitude prayer, God told me "My child, enjoy this period of being in Canada, and rest as much as you can, because your holiday will be over when you return."

True to God's word, my responsibilities have increased, and I finally am able to see the struggles of balancing, and thank God for my SEP, because being there enabled me to be more independent, and also, to grow more in terms of dealing with situations that present themselves. I stand in awe at how God's grace has been more than sufficient, and even at His divine plan and provision.

Despite all that, though, I also realise that there is much thanksgiving to be given, because God's glory is truly great. But with the obstacles that loom ahead, I too see the struggles of keeping to an unwavering faith... truly, the higher the level, the greater the devil... and I'm often found wanting.

I sometimes wonder what's the purpose of it all... =)
Well... I guess we all do.
But I believe God has a purpose.. so until the time is right, I shall be prayerful. =)

Dear Mandy,

Listening to Tae Yeon sing these two ballads.. they really make me feel rather bittersweet, and I can imagine how it would feel... =)

"If"



"Can you hear me?"


For the second clip here, Seohyun is on the piano with Tae Yeon...

Though sad, but I love them, because they do put me in a reflective mood... and I really love Korean ballads. There's just something about them. =)

Dear Mandy,

I absolutely love Joi Chua, and her songs, coupled with her wonderful voice, just give this whole calming and soothing effect. It's almost like in Canada.. having a nice cup of tea while watching the sunset, or observing the quiet tranquility of life around...

I was listening to her greatest hits album, and this song, 戀之憩, really stood out for me. Translated, it means the opening of love. The lyrics in Mandarin are as follows:

戀之憩

作詞：梁文福　作曲：梁文福　編曲：Terence Teo

什麼樣的溫柔　才能輕撫你的傷口
什麼樣的思念　才能遷走你的憂愁
什麼樣的擁抱　才是你寂寞的盡頭
什麼樣的守候　才能被你接受

你的眼是芬芳的醇酒　凝著許多記憶的深憂
我是未曾醉過的溫柔　淺淺一嘗就不能罷休
你的眉是幽幽的港口　蹙著許多靜靜的綢繆
我是一個情感的水手　短短一駐就不願再走

別再說你能不能夠　只是問你接不接受
啊無言的你可知否　並非回憶才天長地久


If you'd like a English translation, go to www.translate.google.com for an ungrammatical and somewhat incomplete translation, but it's a very very sweet song. That I really admit. =)
If you wanna listen to it, either youtube it, or ask me to send the song to u. =)

Joi Chua really is one of my favourite Mandopop artistes. =)

Dear Mandy,

I guess that even as the new semester is more than halfway through, we return to that ever daunting "essay and project season"... haha..

It's definitely not easy, and amidst the busy chaos of research, writing, I somehow realise that I'm also becoming increasingly more distant, and even, to a large extent, selectively sharing about myself even more than normal. It's actually rather funny, but I quite like that. Keeping things to myself never used to be a strong suite of mine, but of late, I think that I am doing that very often.

It's interesting to a large extent, but at the same time, I think that I just need time... =S

Dear Mandy,

This is a really really sweet song.. and a very wistful one as well....



The lyrics are as follows:

So Close- Jon MaLaughlin (Enchanted OST)

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Dear Mandy..

There are times when I know that we all feel alone in this world.

We really want to find someone who cares, and someone who's willing to accept us for who we are, and who thinks from our perspective.

It's really ironic sometimes, when you find that the people who you really care about, sometimes take you for granted? And it's also even more ironic, when you realise that you're particular about small, little things that let you know that you matter. Because it's the little things that count.

But then... am I being too sensitive, I find myself asking that question..

But then.. for some reason, I realise that it's really the more you care for someone, the more you open yourself up to them. You trust them, and you somehow believe in certain things about them... that they'll be there for you. That they'll be sensitive to you. That they'll be able to tell when things are wrong. But it's funny how when you've been hurt before, and you really need their considerate natures the most.. that they sometimes fail to rise to the occasion. And then you hide back into a shell that you know you should have stayed behind all along.

But then again, think about it. Am I like that for others? Am I as sensitive as I am to them? Because I doubt that I have been, so do I have the right to deserve such things?

Point being... in the end, we're all selfish people. It is only by the grace of God that we are able to do certain things.. so I really wonder...

What is the purpose of all these things to begin with anyway? What is the purpose of life? Sure... people say as long as you walk right with God, you wouldn't have all these thoughts.

Easier said than done... and before we make such blatant comments... perhaps we should evaluate ourselves, and ask ourselves if we're really doing that very thing right?

Because I think that there's always something to learn, and in this case, the apparent paradoxical nature of it all.. I wonder... what will the end result be? I don't know, and being honest, I'm worried about what the outcome might be from all these...

I'll just be prayerful.

Dear Mandy..

Sometimes it's kind of strange to realise how life can really turn you 360degrees around and land you back at the same spot.

And above all else, I sometimes feel that there's more to it than just that. There's so much to do, so much to learn.

And I'm extremely thankful for the wonderful friends that I've met along the way...
Audrey, my dearest best friend.. thanks for being there all the time.
KT and Vonne, my guardian angels.. =)
And the tribe, my beloved 20th, and among others more.

What can I say? I'm just a jumble of thoughts. =)

Dear Mandy,

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's Day.. =)

It's a day that encompasses meeting up with relatives that are long not met, as well as a day where lovers celebrate a day of love. For me... it seems that this year, it's a tad slower and wistful than normal.. for a few reasons I guess?

Sis is getting married, so this is technically the last CNY I have to spend with my beloved sister who's seen me grow all this while. Though we've had our rough patches, and due to the work that we both have, haven't had all that much time together, I know I'm going to miss her. Sis is and will always be an integral part of my life, and as time slowly but surely passes, I know that this intensity will just get more and more strong. I'm happy for sis that she's moving on to the next phase of life, but similarly, a tad wistful that it's going to also mean farewell. =)

Perhaps I'm just not suited to think of it as Valentine's Day, but more of just hanging on to know that it's going to be just another day that's special. But I wish all couples out there a happy Valentine's Day, and I pray that you'll be richly blessed. =)

These days, I think that the workload's going to start getting more and more, and this break isn't going to be too much of a break as I want to get work done, start on my projects and essays, and to get ahead on my readings.. but I know that with the Mid Terms that are coming, I'm going to have to make time for those as well, but I want to do well. There're so many responsibilities to balance out, so many people that I want to make time for because they mean so much to me, and above all, the need to find some... "me time". I've really appreciated the ability to have that kind of time in Canada... time to just space out, to do the things that I want to do, have time to just... read the things I want to read, and all these while still being ahead of my own game.

I never knew that it'd be such a huge difference in adjustment upon coming back, but I guess that it's really true when you say that the grass always is greener on the other side. I just need to get back into that rhythm, and stop finding excuses for the things that I haven't done. I need to be more optimistic, and I need to remember that it's so much easier to give into sadness, because that's surrender... There's a battle to fight, but I want to know that God will be with me so I will be strong and I will make it through.

That being said.. there are so many questions that are going through my head as well.. and I know that there's no need for me to get the answers now, but I really wish I knew. Oh well. =)