Dear Mandy...

Just today, I was anchored back to the wonderful grace of how God works in our lives.

A lot of people know that I've been rather emotional of late, and well, that's the funny thing. I knew I had no reason to be emotional, and yet I was. I mean... life was going on smoothly, my friendships were intact and great, and I was still walking with the Lord. But WHY was I still emotional?

It took the whole of today to realise why, and make the move out of the emotional factor.

First in Quiet Time, the Lord showed me through Elijah, how his words testify that He is a man of God. Through this, the Lord affirmed me that what I have been doing and saying has shown that I am a faithful disciple of Christ. So this set hte tone for the day... God's affirmation.

Then, during prayer point worship, PS Bel gave 2 verses.. Hebrews 11:6 and Hebrews 12:1-3...

"Without faith, it is impossible to please God."
- Hebrews 11:6

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
-Hebrews 12:1-3

Well.. these two verses spoke strongly to me.. because I felt that it was a call to God to exercise my faith in Him, and to run with perseverance what He was planned for me, and to turn my eyes upon Jesus, so I will not grow weary and lose heart.

Then came service... where the songs were strong and spoke to me. Fel prayed for me, and it spoke. And the service by Pastor Caleb on overcoming our fears in the Lord, really spoke to me. Especially when Pastor Caleb started asking questions... I guess I let the tears come. I felt God comforting me, and in His presence, i felt safe... then Yuen Shun prayed for me, and so did Jin Hui.

After that... I cried on Jin Hui's shoulders, and it was quite bad I think. Wei Lin was so worried she came over, and I saw the looks on a few people's faces, and they were really shocked. PS Bel and PS Jim came over as well, and then began the biggg talk with PS Jim.

I realised through the talk with PS Jim, that subconsciously, I had lost my way with God in an area that I thought was pretty alright... I guess that in doing so, I had allowed the devil to grip my heart in that area, and turned myself into a bit of a nervous wreck, emotional, when there was really no need to.

My prayer thus became "Lord, grant me wisdom and peace to handle the situations that come my way." Because when we ask for wisdom, the Lord will give it.. and His peace will be our guide. And such, if we have these two, it is difficult for us to lose our way. It is truly by the grace of God that we can be saved, and that we can do right.

So, thank God for revelation and His divine intervention that really gets us walking right with Him. =)

Dear Mandy..

Well, it has been a very eventful birthday... and one that I really sense that the Lord is preparing me for something big that He has planned for me. Well, let me just recap... hahaha..

In total, SO MANY PEOPLE TAGGED ME ON FACEBOOK AND SMSED OR MSNED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY THAT I FEEL SO BLESSED! Haha.. sorry for the caps, but it's really true... I realise how simple these actions may be, but how much it really means to the recipient, because of the heart and the effort to simply go over and tag or take up a phone and sms. It's really a wondrous blessing and gift to have and receive. To everyone who did so, my heartfelt thanks and gratitude for the effort that you've put in! =)

I had dinner with my family at “螃蟹之家", and we had black pepper crab... no picture to show cause I forgot to take. But it was nice. Haven't had such a big family dinner for some time, and though it started off late cause Dad got held up at work, and started off awkward, cause I was feeling tired and irritated... but by God's grace, things got better. While waiting for dinner, God led me to read Ephesians 3... Nothing much really got in at that time, but one thing that struck me was Paul asking "are you saved be faith or by law?" This would prepare me for what I was to read later at night.

Well... I've been blessed.. and I maintained my promise of cutting a cake on my birthday, and sis gave me a really expensive gift. Now I know what was in that bag. Hahaha.. But all in all... it went well... =)

Spent the night chatting on msn, and reading 2 more chapters of Max Lucado's "3:16- The numbers of hope", and the chapters were on the words "perish" and "believe". I guess I was led back to remember that God doesn't want us to do anything to attain eternal life.. He just wants us to believe in Him, and that's that. Of course, the next chapter on "perish" talks of how people just close their doors to the Lord when He comes knocking.. so they make it that choice. But one line really stood out for me... Max Lucado wrote "Even longing for God is a gift from God." That really got me thinking... if a longing for God is a gift, then... does that mean that God has condemned the rest who He didn't bless? But no! Max Lucado explains that God knocks on our doors.. in order to receive the fift from God, we must first be willing to accept God into our lives, and only then can we fully receive the grace and love of God.

I guess we all have a long way to go... but it all begins with my God! =) I believe He'll have a plan for me. =)

Dear Mandy..

Well... as the big 2-3 draws nearer, I've been really blessed! Everyone knows every year I try my best to be nonchalant as my birthday draws near, and if it's quietly celebrated, even better. I still remember last year when I successfully managed to bluff Joel and Isaac my birthday is in May. Haha... it was thwarted, surprisingly, and this year, the person who thwarted it last year, in some sense also thwarted my attempts this year. But this year was different I guess.

I've been praying about my birthday, as instigated by a few close friends, because of the pending exchange that is coming up in August. They all wanted me to have a proper celebration, but the me being the me kinda disagreed. To the words of those so dear "Go and pray and ask God what He says." Which upon duly charged, I couldn't really refute could I? So I went to the Lord in prayer.

And surprisingly, He wanted me to enjoy my birthday. He said, "Do not worry, my child. Don't fret about your birthday. Just trust that I am in control." So I did.

On Wednesday, ShuXin (Xiaoxin) came to NUS to play badminton, and asked if we could meet up for a while, which I was realy happy to do so. I rarely get to see ShuXin anyway, so I was looking forward to it. That silly girl made me walk from Arts Canteen to Engine Canteen, only to receive a birthday present and this big orange balloon which says "Happy Birthday" on one side and "Daniel is a happy boy" on the other side. Talk about having to walk around school with that BIG ORANGE BALLOON?!! And to make it funny.. the "meet up" with XiaoXin only lasted 7 minutes and she was gone. Hahaha... funny incident, but I felt blessed.

Had a project meeting, and completed some parts, and now it's rush rush rush for Soci of Tourism project... then went down to Parkway for cell.

So at cell we were waiting for people, and then suddenly, ice breaker. And the ice breaker was "Ask Daniel 23 questions" cause PS Jim said they wanted to celebrate my birthday. Haha.. I was bashful I guess.. I mean, it was totally unexpected. And the best part... I got a birthday PIZZA!! I mean seriously... a BIRTHDAY PIZZA! And if you're wondering... yes.. I prefer birthday pizzas to cake, unless it's a too die for cake, and it MUST be chocolate! Hahaha... and it was so sweet actually... because it was all thanks to a close friend, and she tipped them off when they asked about it. Honestly touched.

Then, they prayed for me!! So touched!! U-Jin, PS Bel, PS Jim and Wei Lin took turns to pray for me, and I feel so blessed... Hahaha.. my birthday isn't here yet, and already I feel so blessed.

Thanks everyone, for having made it a wonderful blessing... Thank you to Joel, Isaac, to the 24, to Shuxin.. and to Prisc! =) Haha.. God's blessings all to me! =)

Dear Mandy...

I changed the song on my blog to one that I really like... Well.. most of the songs on my Imeem I like, or are songs of the moment.. but these worship songs are those that I don't have.. and the lyrics for this song really speak to me. Especially the chorus:

"And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace"
-"I will run to You" by Hillsongs

And I think that this is really apt. Since the G12 conference till now, I found myself being more and more sensitive to God, hearing Him, and I really love walking close to Him. Everything seems to be more bearable, and though there are times when I slip, or feel down, I find that praying to Him always helps, because I know and sense that He's really around me.

There're a lot of things that the Lord placed upon my heart ever since the G12 conference, and I hope that I have really grown from this experience, and am able to be more able to handle everything that comes my way... spending at least 45 mins in worship everyday, or rather, attempting to do so, really helps remind me that my help comes from God, and the need of not being complacent and forgetting to pray to God in keeping my heart a heart of flesh instead of a stoney one for His glory. Quiet time in the morning has been getting increasingly better.. I think I've got a lot to give thanks for! =)

Speaking of giving thanks.. I've come to realise in this season of "Love Your Neighbour", it's been pretty much about the little things, and the heart that count. Be it promising to keep someone in prayer and doing so, or going out of your way to help people... I believe that in time, these things are what really matter. Sure people will remember the one or two things that you did which is impactful to them, but more often than not, people actually remember the heart of the person more over the actions of the person. =)

More to come, and more to share.. till then, it's 4 project essays and 1 presentation to go... haha.. By the blood of Jesus, I will overcome! =)

Dear Mandy...

There are times when I wonder if thinking too much is detrimental to health.

My closest friends know that I tend to think too much.. that's why one of my salient points is to draw abstract links from things that seem too different to have similarities.. but I somehow manage to do so. Of course, the down side of thinking too much is that you start to dwelve into domains of that thread of thought that you shouldn't really think about; tackling issues that are not supposed to be tackled then, and then, getting yourself all emotional or worried about things that are not yet to come.

However, as with all skills, it can be properly harnessed, and I believe that with maturity and coming of age, you end up being able to use this particular skill better. I'm starting to see that indeed, I'm not as strong as I think I am, because there're always higher levels and there'll be new challenges that come along when you think you're ready. Your past experiences only prepare you to know that your adaptability is less tedious, but you still have that bit of adjusting to do.

As Pila says... God is with me.. He is Emmanuel. And as surely as He made the stars in the sky, I will trust in Him, because He has a plan to prosper me. =)

Dear Mandy...

"Will Hayes, a 30-something Manhattan dad in the midst of a divorce when his 10-year-old daughter, Maya (Abigail Breslin), starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love. Will,s story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the presidential campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as an idealistic young man learning the ins and outs of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women. Will hopelessly attempts a gentler version of his story for his daughter and changes the names so Maya has to guess who is the woman her father finally married. Is her mother Will,s college sweetheart, the dependable girl next door Emily (Elizabeth Banks)? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April (Isla Fisher)? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist Summer (Rachel Weisz)? As Maya puts together the pieces of her dad,s romantic puzzle, she begins to understand that love is not so simple or easy. And as Will tells her his tale, Maya helps him to understand that it,s definitely never too late to go back...and maybe even possible to find a happy ending."

The synopsis above tells about what the movie is about. What it doesn't tell you is the wonderful wonderful story that it endeavours to tell over a bedtime story. It touches your heart, enlightens you about love in relationships... and more importantly.. that there's always hope that you'll find that ideal person someday.

The story of finding out of the 3 people in Will's life that he has ever loved, one of them happens to be his daughter, Maya's mother. The story is intrinsically woven, so much so that you think it's going to be another of those predictable love stories... you know? But the way the director throws a curveball at you is very smooth and unexpected. The three women in his life are as follows:

The three women in Will's life.. (From L to R): April who's the best friend, Emily the girl next door and Summer the free-spirited one.

Along the story, each of these women create a niche for themselves, portraying themselves in a different identity of modern women. Those who take life with a pinch of salt like April, those that are more conservative and careful like Emily, or those who are the go-getters and take life as it comes like Summer. Which of these is Maya's mom... and the underlying question of it all is... who of these three does Will truly love?

I'm not going to spoil the ending for you, but I have to admit that this movie kind of challenged certain perspectives that I had, especially with regards to stereotypes. In one simple movie.. you see unconditional love, you see unrequited love, you see love that transcends, you see love that understands. Of course, you also see the other side of love.. the selfish love, the deluded love and the love that doesn't let go when it is time.

Even as I'm typing this, I find myself wondering exactly what love is it that is prevalent in society these days... and how wonderful it is that despite the seemingly loss of importance of the sanctity of true love, it is still there in the obscurity of a seemingly feeling-less Earth. Because there's always hope. In that hope... there lies the promise, though it may be thin, of eternal bliss in a marriage or a relationship. It's definitely possible.

The linguistic puns in this movie are great. I love how "Definitely Maybe" has different connotation in the movie. How two of the three girls are "Definitely Maybe" candidates for Will. How Will himself is a "Definitely Maybe" kinda guy. Or how commitment to some people is "Definitely Maybe"... there're a lot of different ways to look at the movie and how the title plays around it, but it's definitely worth an analysis. =)

In short... love is definitely something... I wonder if it'll ever happen to me. =)

Dear Mandy...

Today, I gave blood. Hahaha... it was a rather long wait, and a rather hilarious situation.

The wait, though long, was made more bearable with Rashidah and her friend Amy. We just chatted the long wait away.. then it was giving blood time. The HSA staff that attended to us were really nice and helpful.. but after seeing people feeling faint and all that, I kinda felt scared. So what did I do?

I prayed.

I asked God to watch over me. To let my blood be useful, that it can be used to save lives. And that I'd be able to not grow faint, but to be strong because my God is within me.

And the Lord answers prayers.

The nurses were nice, accommodating and helpful.
The blood donation went well with minimal pain.
And I started singing worship songs. In came "Still". In came "Thank You for the Cross". And surprisingly, my blood transfusion slowed down towards the end... It was getting slower and slower, and where other people were done, and even my friend who felt faint was able to walk.. I was still sitting there with a needle in my arm! Haha.. I didn't think too much about it then. So, they kinda cut short my transfusion with a little bit to go. And then I was sitting there with a yellow bandage on my arm where the needle was... with bumblebees! Went to the reception counter, immediately brough laughter to the volunteers there, helped distribute biscuits, and made friends with this Vietnamese girl I think called Summer.

So as I left and came home, I slept for close to 3 hours cause it is rather draining. And well, I managed to complete my revision for Stats by doing 3 tutorials! Normally I do one tutorial in the time that I took to complete 3... the Lord is awesome!

And when I think about the transfusion. I realise that "Hey! The Lord could have reduced my blood flow so that I wouldn't get dizzy!"

God is great. =)

Dear Mandy...

I feel rather emotional and random at the moment... and I wonder why! It's supposed to be the Chinese New Year break... but somewhere at the back of my mind lies the fact that I have a presentation and a class test on the Wednesday immediately after the break. Somewhere in my heart lies the many concerns that I worry about. And somewhere in my soul is a longing for a deeper thirst for my Lord. Ok, so the last concern isn't that bad.. =) I mean... I do enjoy worshipping God, I do enjoy reading His word. But of late, I do feel rather happier when I'm by myself... which ideally means God and I. After all, I'm never really alone.

But as I try to analyse my feelings that have been extremely sensitive lately, I realise that it's really a lot of confusion, and heartfelt matters that I've kinda been "shelving" to put it mildly. And as I review them, some of them I have recovered from without knowing it, thanks to time, friends and God's wondrous works. Others.. I'm still KIV. Questions like... my identity? Or... where do I go from here? Or... my future? Things like that... I'm still wondering.

A picture I took long ago.. I was thinking then...

Of course, I realise I don't really have answers.. but of late, a lot of the things that I've been reading out of Kim Meeder's "Bridge Called Hope" has been speaking to me. So much so that I even have thought about using some of her stories to teach in the form of a word... that's how much it speaks to me. I was reading on friendship today, and here's a paragraph that's amazing...

"We need friends... all of us.
No person or creature can survive alone. Nor was any person or creature meant to.
Real friendship does more than just make us feel better; truly, it makes us better.
True friendship is strong, purposeful, honest, compassionate, and steadfast.
A real friend gently reveals our weakness, while cheering every step toward our newfound strength.

It holds us up when we are weak."

I do find her definition of friendship very very true, and real. Friends are the people who stand by us despite seeing our ugliest sides. Friends are the people who not only critique you, they walk with you, encourage you, and they see the changes no matter how slight. Above all, they invite you to be a better person without losing the essence of who you are.

It is with regards to such words that make me in awe of the wonder of language. I am happy that I'm a linguist... honestly. They are such interesting analyses, and it's a small world that opens up to those who have studied linguistics before. Of course... perhaps it's also part of the threos of being a student. =) Hahaha.... I'm a bit incoherent. PLease do not analyse this discourse for it probably flouts the coherence factor... =)

Well... that concludes my random rambling today. Hahaha... Happy Chinese New Year everyone. May you be prosperous this year! =)

Dear Mandy...

I haven't really been in the blogging mood of late.. been rather tired, and just lethargic... but so many things have happened, that I guess it's about time I really really update.



This is really something I've been watching lately. THe Balcony Scene of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet in 1996. I feel that Claire Danes has really great screen presence! And I love LOVE the discourse that takes place between Juliet and Romeo... It's so lovely.. Juliet's monologue of how she'll accept Romeo for who he is... Romeo's pledge that he'll risk himself for her.. it's lovely... I was captured by Juliet's line:

"What's Montague?
It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm nor face;
nor any other part belonging to a man.
O, be some other name!
What's in a name?
That which we call a rose
by any other word would smell as sweet.
So Romeo would were he not Romeo called
Retain that dear perfection which he holds without that title.
Romeo doff thy name
And for they name which is no part of thee
Take all myself."

I like the part whereby Juliet comments about the word. If we were to call a rose by another word.. maybe... "Juliet"... then "Juliet" would be used to represent a rose, and it would be a wonderful name for the entity that it represents... It isn't the name that really really matters... we can call it anything.. but at the end of the day, it is the form that it represents that matters... we can call a rose many things... "rose", "flower of love"... and yet, it is still essentially a rose.

Lectures this semester are really really interesting!! I enjoy my EL mods, and even my Soci of Tourism! Well, Stats is also interesting, but seriously.. my arts mods are so interesting, that I not only stay awake in lessons easily, but I also find myself in deep thought about what has been taught. It's really amazing how God also places Himself in my lectures.

At EL3254 Lecture...
"Who can have a complete and unrefracted capture of the world? Well... only I guess only God can."

At EL3204 Lecture...
"Insult-Insult can be an adjacency pair. But what about Insult-Compliment? Then we can all be like Jesus and turn our other cheek to be slapped too."

How apt that even in lectures, the sovereign Lord drops in little nuggets of reminders of who He is, and how omnipresent He is. =)

Well, other than that.. a week ago, we had the "Love Our Neighbour" Tribe Service Day, and being honest, it went well. There were a lot of cleaning duties, decoration making sessions and interaction with both the elderly and among ourselves... but I was thankful that the tribe gave a turnout of close to 30 people, and that everyone pitched in. It felt so much like a family again.. I missed that kinda feeling. Glad and many thanks to Adeline who came down, and thanks to Jin Hui, Xiaoyun and Joshua! We make a good team!! =)

My personal takeaways from the cleaning... I realised that if I can muster the courage to speak to elderly who're not close to me (I.E. Complete strangers), then I should be able to spend more time with my own grandmother... Praise be to the Lord... the next Monday, I made time to go down to my Grandmother's house with my mom, when I really wanted to study.. but in doing so, I made an effort to talk to her.. I haven't been there for some time, cause I'm always busy.. but the Lord prompted me to go, and go I did. It was a short time? About 30 mins? BUt it was fruitful and fulfilling all the same.

Trying out a new regime at the moment... run 4 times a week about 3 to 5km each run, and I will do static stations at the end of each run to tone my body for the upcoming IPPT. I wanna maintain my silver, but not to the extent that I get my silver and end up half dead... so I will train.. though it's draining, and can be tiring.. but I will do so. =) Nothing ventured, nothing gained... and well... as what the theme so far has been about.. until we go through fire, we will not be properly moulded. =)

Yesterday, we had a surprise farewell for Xiaoyun at SMU.. Quite a turnout.. XY, Vanessa C., Felicia, Audrey, Alicia, Rachel, Zhen Zhu, Isaac and Wei Liang came down... quite a fun session definitely... we sang, we prayed, we ate, we laughed, we talked... like a family, except when the music ends, so does the curtain be drawn. It ended a bit too soon? But I also know that indeed.. it is a session that was really memorable.

Today I went back to VJC to study.. and reaped unforseen benefits. Not only was i productive for a rekindling of my Saturday studying sessions (1 tutorial and 3 readings), but I managed to talk to Geraldine, WELCO, and the Oreintation Adhoc, specifically Lennart, Subra and Kendrick till about 8pm at night, sharing about Council history, and our Secondary School experiences. It was rather memorable, definitely.

Amazingly, I think because I've been expending too much energy the last few weeks over event after event, I felt surprisingly rested in my studying, and in talking to people. I just... really enjoyed it. I felt God's presence in my studying, and even in the chats... but the run that I did kinda pooped me out... haha.. been runnin 3km, suddenly jump to 4.8km took a bit of a toll... and the static after that... whooo!! Hahaha... high. =)

But then... I forgot that I wanted to do QT with God after my run.. in my exhaustion, i just took my stuff and found a table to study... no wonder I wasn't productive... haha.. God wanted to spend time with me! So I came home, and after dinner, I worshipped the Lord and read 2 chapters off Kim Meeder's "Bridge called Hope". And the Lord spoke to me. He spoke so much to me about certain things I've bene going through, and I just felt so emotional.

One line stood out strongly for me in the book...

"Being loved changes us all"

How true this quote is. When people give you feedback or rebuke you out of love, you're more receptive to change than when someone comes out straight to pinpoint flaws that you have and make it seem like it's your fault that you're like that. Perhaps because I'm a word person, so the choice of words appeal to me... but I guess we all have our little glitches. I'm changing, I can sense it... but for some reason, I don't feel very comfortable with the change...

I guess I need more time for reflecting...

Thanks Panda and Vette-Vette though.. for standing by me...

Thanks Vonne, for tagging about me. =)

Dear Mandy...

It has truly been an exhausting period, but God's grace has been abundant in this period of time.

Let me recap event by event.
The Funkamania XIV location search was becoming quite a worry, because nobody really replied us if we could use the hall venues. Then, I had to ring up the halls as a final resort (and those close to me know how much I dislike doing such things), and when I reached Sheares hall, they had already sent us the application form! I was so astounded, because before I rang up Sheares, I felt a compelling from the Lord to worship Him. What's more amazing is that my internet went down, so I couldn't find Sheares' number, so I had to worship Him. So as I did, I prayed.. and of which, I prayed for favour in finding a location. So imagine how surprised I was when I rang up Sheares, to find out that they're ok with us loaning the place? Truly truly praise God.

Next, the one day camp for Anderson Primary School. I didn't get much sleep the night before cause I went out for a movie outing, so I was actually a bit tired. And to top things off I was seriously very early.. so what did I do? I started to pray. So when the camp actually began, I was rather... how shall I say... irritated. I realised they have really short attention spans, and some of them are quite rude, and they don't listen to instructions. Team dynamics were not really strong at all when we began, and there were even tears, and close to blows being exchanged. It was a struggle to control them. I didn't compare myself with other groups for some reason, I think it was really God's plan, and I just did my best. Over lunchtime, the Instructors had some exchange of ideas, and we realised that in general the batch were that hyperactive and in some sense, selfish. But I didn't want that to be the case for my group... especially since the next event was something I enjoyed doing- Sandcastle building! But praise God, because my group all worked together. I realised that they were just kinestetic learners, and they preferred hands on over anything else. They were so eager to learn what I had to teach, and after teaching, I found opportunities for them to exercise what they had learnt. They worked so well together, and on one small plot of land, that it impressed a lot of the teachers, and even some of my colleagues. And when we won best sandcastle? I cheered, and I gave glory to God.

Then, the Home Nursing Foundation- Wen Ken active swim. This event was really one interesting event by itself. The planning and the logistics were very last minute, and many changes were expected and in motion here and there, that even for myself, I got a bit confused, and admittedly, irritated by certain proceedings and changes. So when we went for the event itself, I was praying over QT in the morning for the event to be a success in its own way. The day didn't start well... XY couldn't wake up on time, and Isaac was slightly late.. but I resolved not to let the irritation mount.. and so things went well. We reached Clementi Swimming Complex by 8am, so we weren't that bad. Then it was really kick off into full swing... I was the Master of Ceremony for the day, and that didn't go off too well initially... I was hesitant, and to some extent, even scolded at certain situations... so I was like praying already. XY even came to give a quick intercessory prayer, and then everything went into full swing. And what was good? I started to smoothly speak. Even at last minute intervals, I managed to handle it well. And i attribute it all to the Lord. The event went very very smoothly, actually.. we were supposed to swim 8 000 laps to break into the new record. We swam 14, 159 laps instead, so really praise God. I also managed to meet up with my ex-students, Adeline and Jun Le, so that's another blessing to give thanks for!

Then, the first ever senior cluster cell group! I was a bit apprehensive about going for this event, actually, cause I was rather tired. But I decided to go. And the event was really really cozy. I admit.. I felt so much at home. And when we started worship? My goodness.. it was a very spirit-led worship. I felt so much as ease, and I just remained silent for a long stretch of time, because all I wanted was to be quiet in the presence of God, and find my rest in Him. That's all I wanted, and I was contented doing so. And I realised that it is the small things that the Lord uses to make big. Like how a small idea of swimming 7, 000 laps for a challenge eventually became a record-breaking event. Or how something small like turning up for cell, ends up with us being blessed and recharged. Such small things that make me so in awe of this wonderful saviour.

Also, this season of "Love your neighbour"... we are called to be committed to the success of someone.. and I happened to do so for Debz indirectly! She was so worried about not being able to get her final module, and asked me to pray for her. Which I did over MSN, and even encouraged her to appeal... and today, she called up the Philo Dept, and she got the module! It was so amazing! And God showed His favour again, when Debz received a phone call from her mother... she called me to tell me, and I prayed for her over the phone. And then, the Lord told me "I am pleased, my son, because you are committed to the success of this daughter of mine."

Is our God great? He definitely is. =)

Dear Mandy...

Well, it's been quite a time! Merry Christmas eve to one and all!

The last week has been rather busy for me... Helping the 25th SC with their OGL training, and they're all really nice and adorable people, the Councillors. Haha... had quite a good time bonding with them, and just enjoying time spent with them. =)

Following which, I helped sis bring around the delegates who came to NUS for the congress... So it was like I was a tour guide bringing people around Singapore.. where did we go? Well.. Esplanade, the Merlion, Singapore River, Chinatown and Orchard Road. It was tiring, to say the least, but I did a bit of Christmas shopping for myself! Haha.. bought a book called "Love Letters of Great Men".. who said that great men cannot be romantics?!? Hahahaa.. =) The wonders of a love letter. Well, that aside... I did enjoy myself, but all glory to God. I had prayed a lot over this event, because let's face it.. I'm definitely not a qualified tour guide, what with my limited knowledge of information, and also the last minute research.. nahhhz.. don't think I'm qualified. BUt the Lord was with me, because I kept interceding when I had the chance, praying quietly... and the feedback about the trip to the organisers was that it was really good. Which really, is glory to God.

Thursday I met Celestine for dinner.. and it was... an interesting day, if I do say so myself. Hahaha.. Over a survey where I was asked questions on the recession by this NUS Engine girl... but well, the details are between Celeste, myself, and a few others who know. Hahaha... had dinner at MOF, and the food is quite good! Hahaha.. it was nice, really, catching up with Celeste... who's a really great friend.

Friday I cut my hair, so now, I basically have a haircut that really isn't my norm. Haha.. it shocked Yan Xi when I turned up at Pastor's house for Christmas dinner, and everyone basically were surprised at my new, daring haircut. Joel, Xiaoyun and Isaac liked the haircut though, but I guess it's going to take some getting used to. The party at Pastor's house was really simple, yet warm. We played board games, and the food was nice! Then, we had a time of worship, and thanksgiving. I guess I really have a lot to thank, now that I think about it... for my exchange, for my growth, for the tribe, for the journies in life that the Lord has taken me through, and seen me through. We closed off the session by praying for each other, and then we left. =)

Saturday was preparation for the senior cluster Christmas party, and it was at Vanessa's house. I LOVE VANESSA'S HOUSE! Goodness... going to upload some pictures to show the party.

The Christmas tree

Everyone crowding around the tree to check presents!

Wei Lin and I

Well, the party went really well. The food was really good, and above all else, I just enjoyed the homely feeling, and how everyone came and mingled, talked, caught up... it was great. =)

Sunday was Christmas service, and I felt so blessed. =) It was a good service by Pastor Khong, and though a bit tired, but I still enjoyed the Christmas songs, and the joy of the spirit of Christmas. Met Joel and Isaac for breakfast before that, and well, it was a really good time of catching up and talking! Had some conviction about stuff, but above all else, it was definitely a time that called for much reflection.

Monday I went for a run, and then I met Joel for dinner. Over bak chor mee and Ben and Jerry's ice cream (WHOOPEE!!), I had a heart to heart talk and caught up with my cell leader, who's pretty much been an integral part of my spiritual walk thus far. =)

Tuesday was a whole half day with Yvette, Isaac and Xiaoyun, though Isaac and Xiaoyun turned up much later, but I enjoyed catching up with Yvette! What with running around Bugis area, trying to find a dessert stall, to settling at Crystal Jade for some high tea... and a bit of emo-ing moments.. to going down to Chomp Chomp for food!! Hahaha.. it was definitely a wonderful wonderful day..

The desserts at Ah Chew Dessert Stall

Xiaoyun and Yvette over the huge mug of sugar cane

XIaoyun and Yvette over the stingray and kangkong

The fried Hokkien Mee that was voted best dish by most of us

Yvette and Wei Liang

Isaac and Yvette

Xiaoyun and Yvette

Yvette and I

I am going to miss Yvette when she goes for her exchange, being honest. This great friend who's been there for me during the moments where I was really struggling to move on, and heal. Well, do take care of yourself when you leave, make sure you come back safe and sound! May God be with you as you embark on a new chapter of your academic life! =) God bless!

Merry Christmas eve to everyone once again!

Dear Mandy..

The last few days have been a rather eventful one... =)

I spent Friday night at a planning meeting for the Cluster "My Hope" program, and I really hope that it will attain it's objective! I really enjoy working with Rachel, Alicia, Isaac, Zhen Zhu and Xiaoyun.. and well, after that, I went for the Step Up "MY Hope" as well. It was... a night of mixed emotions, I'd say. I did enjoy the time spent with the kids, and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.. but there were times when I felt the kids were a bit hard to handle also. And of course, the little surprises like how a student from a school I used to teach appeared at the party. It was really a night of little wonders and surprises.. one that I enjoy much.

On Saturday, I spent it with Xiaoyun, Rachel, Wei Liang and Isaac at Xiaoyun's house. We spent time at AMK HUb first, buying stuff ffor the dish that we were going to cook for dinner. And then, we went to Xiaoyun's house. We spent a lot of time preparing the dish and even cooking it... and then. we watched "Love Actually" cause Xiaoyun hadn't watched it before. Here's pictorial proof!!

Rachel, me and Wei Liang cooking the stuff!

Me and Isaac cooking!

This is the end product!!!

To be honest? The dish was great! ANd Xiaoyun's father is a great cook! Salmon was great, and the vegetables..? Niceeee... haha... Just had a great time eating and just chilling... was a great way to refresh yourself.

Went for service today, but not before chauffeuring Sis to the airport so she can pick up the Thai delegates coming for the congress that starts tomorrow... And then, I just enjoyd the worship today throughly! Seriously! And I found myself really immersed in Pastor Eugene's message today.. it was a timely reminder for us to ask ourselves just what Christmas is all about... and is God really the priority of our lives? It's something I want to ask myself and check my heart everyday about.

Then, we celebrated Felicia's birthday, before we went to have our cluster meeting.. the meeting was a relatively good one, being honest. We ironed out a lot of things, and managed to even come to conclusions on much of the decisions that we needed to make. Was quite happy with the progress actually. =)

Then, headed down with Wei Liang and Rachel to City Hall - Wei Liang to buy some working trousers, and Rachel for Council dinner later. Had some sharing time with Rachel along the way, and well, Rachel, cheer up yeah? =) Met Kristy then, and then, I bought maccaroons to make Rachel smile... =)

The Councillors came one by one, and we had an attendance of 12 today!! Amazing stuff! And XuWen turned up too!! =) It was really a happy moment for me. We went to Shokudo at Raffles City Shopping Centre, and we ended up talking, eating and catching up on lost moments.

My beloved 20th SC Councillors!!

We moved to Starbucks after that, and we continued our conversation there... but honestly, I'm really glad that I organised this outing. I enjoy catching up with these people.. special people to me, because they are my family for 2 years in VJC. We went through much joy and tears together, and we've come a fairly long way! Of course, one of my closest friends of all, Kristy Koh is there, and my close male friends like Joel and Edrei are also in this group of close friends. And there's Rachel, a friend who's also my close sister in Christ.. I really just enjoy meeting up with them. They're an amazing bunch of individuals... really really just... =)

XuWen and I... Really funny how me managed to cross paths recently!

Kristy and I... one of my closest friends about.. one I'd run to when I've got problems. =)

I guess.. despite all of us walking different paths of life now... some working, some just graduated, some about to graduate... I'm just thankful for the fact that we're still close knit, and we make an effort to meet up once in a while...

Once a Councillor, always a Councillor, I guess? =)

Dear Mandy..

Been spending the last few days reflecting and thinking through a lot of things, especially some things that happened over the weekend at Kota Tinggi, and I find myself confused and in some sense, in deep thought.

Feedback, receptivity and all that... who determines what and how it goes? I've always believed that every situation calls for a different approach, and the way I portray myself often goes to lengths that I don't think about. Perhaps it's time to take a look at those lengths, but one thing is for sure.. when I believe in something, I don't back down from it unless something proves it otherwise. It is in things that I believe strongly in that I refuse to listen to feedback that makes me short of achieving that expected perfection. I am open in terms of other things that I know need the feedback, but am less receptive in things I hold dear to me.

Many a time, I've wondered and pondered... what if the Lord takes it away from me? How would I react? And I guess that the one thing that I probably wouldn't get over would be if the Lord took Himself away from me. Take VJC away from me, take my close friends away from me... I'd be devastated? But life would still go on. But without the Lord.. I don't know. And yet, there are so many times I've fallen short of the Lord's reach, and yet, by His grace, I am still saved. I just need to really get back a hold on that promise of the Lord.

People may say the things they want to say. But I will first endeavour to seek first His righteousness. And even if the path that I am to take may end up with many obstacles and dead ends.. I believe that as long as I walk the path the Lord wants me to walk, I will overcome. Even if it faces adversity from all angles from the people who just don't understand.

I am not the same person I was 9 years ago. I may retain some of the salient traits, and some flaws are still recalcitrant. I will attempt to improve. But don't judge me based on the me I was 9 years ago.

Dear Mandy..

Celebrate the end of exams with a movie.. at my own home, on my own laptop. And I watched a show that was screened in 2001 starring John Kusack and Kate Beckinsale, entitled "Serendipity"
The synopsis is as follows:

"After the long-delayed Town and Country, director Peter Chelsom turns in his second 2001 effort with this love-at-first-sight romantic comedy that revolves around fate, destiny, and chance. Jonathan (John Cusack) and Sara (Kate Beckinsale) are two New Yorkers already in relationships when they meet one another, each reaching for the last pair of cashmere gloves at a department store. Over coffee, they strike up an intimate conversation, and Jonathan thinks they should see each other again. Unconvinced, Sara arranges an elaborate series of "fate" games; if they're meant to be together, she reasons, she and Jonathan will receive some sort of sign in the future. Flash forward several years, and the two are at opposite ends of the country -- Jonathan in New York and Sara in San Francisco, both engaged to be married. Still, neither can shake the memory of their chance encounter, and they both enlist their best friends (Molly Shannon and Jeremy Piven) to help them find their true love again. Serendipity had its Gala World Premiere at the 2001 Toronto Film Festival."

This show, in summary, talks about holding out for that one true love that you believe is the one. Let's face it.. which normal person in their normal minds would hold out, search relentlessly, including taking the subway from New York to Brooklyn to Manhattan and back, flying all the way out to San Francisco I think... and even calling off your own wedding in the end, on the morning of the wedding, because you realise that you are hopelessly waiting for a girl you spent a few hours with a few years ago? Well, the main protagonist, Jonathan did that.

And then... which girl would fly out to New York when she's getting married in a week, run all over the place, get off a plane in the last throes before take off, and go running without a jacket in Winter to the central park? Well, the female protagonist, Sara, did just that.

This movie is touching, and surprisingly light-hearted. It's a story of missed chances, but yet, a fairy tale happy ending. Life's little misgivings that co-join together to culminate in a great, happy ending. It's movies like these that make me remember that love is really great. Of course, movies tend to exaggerate things, and rarely are they the correct portrayal of what not... but I do get renewed hope when I watch such movies. I don't know if this only applies to a minority... but I still am an optimist when it comes to affairs of the heart. =)

See what happens as God's plan? That although there are times when we keep searching, but we just don't find the answer that we need. or the thing we're looking for? It's at times, when we learn to give it up, believe that it's lost, that the Lord will bring it back to us. The Lord's timing is at times... difficult to hold on to, but when it does come, you'll realise it comes at the most beautiful timing... =)

Ecclesiastes 3:!1
"He has made everything beautiful in His time. He has also st eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

I will be patient and believe. =)

Dear Mandy..

"Do you remember when you were in kindergarten, how you just meet somebody, and then 10 seconds later you're playing like you're best friends? Because you didn't have to be anybody but yourself?" -Gabriella Montez, High School Musical.

Have you ever felt that way? Well, I have, and these feelings come across rather frequently as well. Sociology believes that everything is a social construct.. society, education, culture... they're all social constructs. We live by rules that society deem as good, if not, we're deviant. Kinda like... conversational implicature... Conversational implicature is defined as the meaning that is implied by or understood from the utterance of a sentence goes beyond that which is literally expressed or may be entailed. We all think that we're being ourselves.. but in truth, we aren't. We see ourselves as conventional implicatures; defined as the aspect of meaning of an utterance that reflects that of a specific word and does not take part in truth conditions; meaning literal interpretations. The things we do, the trends we follow, sometimes, the thoughts that go through our minds.. they're all socially constructed in someway.

Which brings us to politeness theory, and that of negative face, defined as the want that one's freedom of action should not be impeded by others. Which makes lots of sense to me. Then of course, people would counter it with "without such social constructs, then there'd be no order in the world." Oh yeah.. sure. Everyone's a critic, even myself sometimes. Then again, if everyone knows and truly walks with the Lord, then even without social order, there'd be peace, because everyone follows the Lord's commands. THAT is the best case scenario... the ultimate perfect scene... which is probably only available in heaven.

Which... kinda brings us to another avenue. If everything is a social construct, then do we not live sometimes according to what others want us or think of us to be? Why, yes, of course, definitely! There're people who try to impose their own ideologies on others, known as positive face, defined as the want that one's own wants are equally desirable to others. Then, we realise that though sometimes they mean well? That they are trying to help you "save your future or your ass", that in some senses, in doing what they suggest sometimes, it isn't you anymore. So we end up having to stifle ourselves, change certain aspects of ourselves, because, in all honesty, we are trying to conform ourselves to fit that world's perspective on what is considered "socially acceptable". How quaint...

Ravaged by the world's conformities and all.. it sometimes makes one start to lose hold of himself. While praying today... and over the 25th SC's SDD and the council in general... I came to realise that I should not live by man's standards, but by God's standards. It was a timely reminder, that in spite of all that happens, the Lord makes things beautiful in His time. Of course, there was the verse from Isaiah 40:31.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary;
they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:31

What did this verse mean to me? Many things I guess... in conjunction with the song "Power of Your love", which i sang to the Lord in worship, I realise that indeed, those that hope in the Lord will be bale to achieve all those... find refreshment in the Lord. And also, in some abstract notion, that we hope in the Lord, and it implies that in some way, we are living to what God wants us to be. I do see many flaws and many imperfections in me... so I guess I want to live to God's standards... and not conform to the standard of man.

"In this life, we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great Love"
-Mother Theresa

This is a quote I hold rather dear to me, because I believe in it. But to begin with, who can claim that he/she has great love in everything they do? We will never know, only the Lord knows. But if we try.. then I believe we will get somewhere. It may not seem like much... but we will get somewhere. People have been hurt, people have been disappointed, and people have been disillusioned.. but the perfect love of the Lord will provide, and wash away all these inhibitions and fears. Because the Lord is faithful.

It's pretty amazing what 25 minutes of whole-hearted worship and prayer can reveal to you. =)

Dear Mandy..

And so the exams began officially today...

How do I feel? Well, the paper today (EL2201) was interesting, and in some sense, I had fun doing the paper.. I don't know how well I'll do? But I prayed before I submitted the paper that it's all in the Lord's hands.. and surprisingly, His peace transcended over the entire paper. There were questions that I didn't know how to do, or that I was doubtful about. But praise God that He gave me answers when I prayed, helping me to see clearly certain question's requirements.. it was quite heartwarming to know that the Lord's with me even as I take the paper.

I finished the paper and also checking it with 5 minutes to go, and I spent 3 out of that 5 minutes just praying. Praying for the people around me, my close friends... it was really a calming presence.

So, it's 1 down, 3 to go. And I will recrank that engine for Semantics and JS that are BOTH on Monday. =) God be with me. =)

Dear Mandy...

W.R.T. my 715 prayer... I also did it at NUS, and it reaped many unforseen benefits, with lots of grace unto the Lord.

A buzz was filling the canteen as we gathered at 700. The swarm of people gathering for Operation 715 was huge... It reminded me of a verse from the Nehemiah model that Sharon is using for NUS...

Nehemiah 4:20
"Whenever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!"

Indeed, the Lord has sounded the trumpet, and His prayer warriors have gathered for the exact purpose of serving the Lord, and to see His will be done in our college. I was all fired up, and after Pastor Yolanda prayed for us, we split into our groups, as XY mentioned: Arts, Science and Engine. So I went to the Arts group, with an eager heart, but somehow, the Lord told me "Be prepared." So I wondered, be prepared for what?

Sharon: "Daniel, you'll be the leader for the Arts group."
What? Me?
And God replied "Yes, you."

The enthusiasm went "poof" as I considered the responsibility laid upon me.
Am I capable of leading a group of 8 Christians on this prayer walk? Why me, God?
And God replied "Because you pray to me that MY WILL BE DONE. Now go."

So obediently, I led the 8 warriors on the prayer walk. I led them with anxiety in my heart, and fervently praying for the Lord to grant me strength to lead this group of His warriors on this spiritual walk, praying for guidance and direction.
Oh Lord... calm my heart down and guide me.
And God replied "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to me. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I AM WITH YOU."

I calmed down considerably, and managed to even joke with some of the Christians along with me. Somehow, with the peace that came, did many revelations that resulted from a peace of God and the opening of spiritual senses. So I noticed that the students in NUS will be the next batch of leaders of sectors in society. So I noticed that direction is important, especially the ones who set it. And I noticed certain areas in FASS that the Lord was heavily burdened by, and the Lord even gave me the courage to stop the prayer group, and pray about the area.
Dear Lord, open up my spiritual senses to see what You want me to see; feel what You want me to feel.
And God replied "As you have asked, so shall you receive."

We gathered back at the Deck for debriefing, and I thank God that my really good friend in FASS, ShuYan was proactive in sharing, and so helpful and endearing. From her, the sharing just flowed, and as I availed myself to be used by the Lord, I found myself drinking of His strength, and felt the wonders of being guided by Him. And when we sat in a circle facing outwards, saying the declaration prayer, God's glory shone when everyone of us were saying the prayer with the same intonation in the same places at the same time. And when we sang "Shout to the Lord", I called each member to sing with sincerity, in the way the Lord calls us to. The voices harmonised, the melody sweet, and I believe, pleasing to the Lord.
Oh Lord, accept this sacrifice of praise as your people sing with sincere hearts unto You.
And God replied "I am pleased."

With the closure of the prayer meet, I prayed over the entire group as a whole, and blessed them. As the group departed, the Lord gave me time to seek Him alone in thanksgiving, as I gave thanks for the whole experience, because indeed, the Lord is faithful, and He is good.
Dear Lord, I thank You for bringing me through this ordeal.
And God replied "I love you, my child, and ne'er will I forsake you."

Is our God wonderful? Yes, He is. He even led Shu Yan to come find me, and a time of short, but meaningful fellowship with this sister of mine who has taken 3 modules with me when we are different majors, and who I have come to cherish as a dear sister to me. It was an Operation where God called His warriors, and though we go through the valleys of Baca, He used us to make it a place of springs.

Operation 715: COMPLETED!

Dear Mandy...

It's been some time, but it's also been a time of a lot of revelations and quite some things on my mind, that I know I have to find time to reflect and pray about. Some good, some pose a change for the future, and some could be bad... but I'm wondering. =)

The GEK1052 project went so smoothly and wonderfully, that I'm really just so blessed by the Lord. He took us through a journey that started off rocky, worrying, and left us on the verge of throwing in the towel at times... but the Lord stayed true to His promises. It's really a miracle... because we couldn't find an elderly agency, and checking everywhere, it didn't really help out. So I prayed to the Lord one fine day when I was so desolate and desperate... and I cried while worshipping Him and playing the guitar. The Lord's words were simple: "My son, why do you worry when I am with you?" and He gave me a revelation that by the end of the week, He will provide. Lo and behold, at 2pm that Saturday, I received a call from Yan Ying to say that Siyun had found an elderly contact! Imagine my joy! I learnt that it is really in our weakness that the Lord is made strong, and I'm really thankful, and in awe of the wonders of my Lord.

If that's not all, the project was really God's grace throughout. There are times when I feel uncomfortable that we're going in unprepared, or even felt irritated that sometimes, we can't find the time to meet up and tie down important pointers. But then, whenever I choose to commit it unto the Lord, He really takes us through it. I believe that choosing to trust the Lord is a difficult option at times? BUt when we do it by faith, the Lord is faithful. =)

Well... and about affairs of the heart... I'm slowly letting go... and there have been really nice people around who are really encouraging. Especially with the latest proceedings at the moment, which I really want to take slowly and evaluate every possible thing, and most importantly, wait for the Lord's confirmation. I really want to be patient and wait for the Lord's timing for the Lord's plan. It will be beautiful. =)

As we all know, it's reading week, and the final exams are just around the corner. Still have one more essay to do, which I managed to complete the first draft today... but this is probably an essay that I need to relook at. Yet, this season, I want to be a student that the Lord wants me to be.. I want to be able to strike a balance between studying hard and being content with the grades the Lord wants me to have.

There's so much to be done, so little time.. but I will believe, because my God is wonderful. =)

Dear Mandy...

These days.. I've been struggling, and yet, God's glory still shines.

On Saturday, 25th Oct 2008, we went to execute the Terrarium Project. And well... I was worried and uncomfortable going in without proper planning on Friday. So.. what did I do? I prayed. I prayed before I slept, I prayed before I left house... and when I reached NL CSC early, I took out my guitar, and prayed, and worshipped the Lord. I felt that it was simply, a call of faith to rely completely on God for this project.

I'll blog more about the project when the debriefing and everything is done... but let's just say that it was indefinitely a day whereby God's glory was so strong and powerful... and there's really nothing like a thanksgiving prayer, and a good debrief to end it all. =)

What have I been struggling with of late? The ever mounting workload, and the weariness I'm feeling at having to be there for people, and help people out. I feel a very strong urge to just throw aside my responsibilities and just take a weekend reflection trip by myself to Bintan or something. But I know I can't, so I weigh up what lies ahead for me, and find myself staggering.

Then I read XY's blog post about negativity, and I start thinking...

"What is the attitude of my heart?"

"How strong is my faith?"
"Why the negativity at times?"
"Why do I doubt?"

But the most pressing question on my heart at the moment.. is this:

"Why am I afraid to open up my feelings and thoughts, and believe there is someone out there who I can truly like and may even be my future partner?"

The answer, I know. And I have shared why with Xiaoyuan, some of the guys in my tribe, and with Gaynie... but I'm still afraid. Today has been a day that talks about strongholds... and it makes me wonder... how strongholds can be subconsciously created.. that it can really.. really be scary.

I'm still reflecting, still wondering, and I hope.. I'll be able to find an answer soon...

Dear Mandy,

This week has been... a pretty interesting week, to say the least.

I'm really quite thankful to God for a lot of things.. the first being the GEK1052 project. Where 2 weeks ago, we were in dire straits, and on the clinging on to just that tiny glimmer of hope, out of nowhere, the Lord not only provides an agency, He also provides alternatives. I've been in awe, and in gratitude to God, that when we chose to commit the project into His hands, and to be prayerful, and to keep that faith, the Lord answers. It was amazing, because the Lord affirmed me in a moment of desolation that He is with me, and told me by the end of last week, He would give us an elderly agency.

Lo and behold, on Saturday, at 1pm, the phone call I received from Yan Ying left me so in awe, for He had provided an elderly agency for us! I was so so amazed! And then, after that, through further research, we found an agency that could help us. And of course, let's not discount the hard work and the way my project group gels together. Just yesterday, we were presented that the elderly agency cannot make it, but God provides! Hahaha.. they linked us up with another elderly agency! =) Praise God!

Academically... well... I'm unsure about my EL2202 test... but my EL2201 test was really astounding... praise God for that. I'm also thankful that I'm able to complete the first drafts of some of my essays, and well.. I don't know how the rest are going to be, but I guess I'll take this step by faith.

I went for BNSS 1D'07 2D'08 BBQ on thursday evening.. and I was quite happy. Hahaha.. meeting up with my previous form class is really... great. Everyone of them have grown, and changed.. some good things i saw, some sad things I felt.. but overall, it was just great to be able to meet up with them again. =)

Yesterday, I went to attend Gui Ling's birthday party, and her class, 4A1'08, were there. Cute class, and I have a best friend...? How did that happen? Hahah.. But okay larhz... WeiLing.. or is it WeiXing is quite cute. Hahaha.. =) Nice people, fun time, though I only had 2 hours there. In that 2 hours? I cooked, ate, got served by the birthday girl (thanks for blessing me, Gui Ling!), and had cake thrown in my face... how fun. Hahahaha... but oh well, Gui Ling, may God bless you. =)

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.. haha... =) May God's glory shine! =)

Dear Mandy..

Life's a really funny thing at times... there are times when you feel like it can't get any worse than this, and you're at the pit bottom of this really huge hole... and there're times when the sky suddenly seems within reach, and you're soaring above the eagles.

Today... I spent time mugging in school... and I realised.. that God is gracious. I've heard stories of how the friendships in Uni are formal or superficial, but today, the Lord reminded me of the essence of friends.. I kinda remember this proverb that stood out for me when I read a chapter of "Clearwater Crossing" series... here it is..

"A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
- Proverbs 18:24

And how did the Lord show me of friends? He showed me friends that I only made when I came to NUS, and how close we've grown to become. Friends like Pearlyn, who I've really grown to cherish as a close friend that we share lots of experiences together, like Jasmine, where we can talk about God and share about our testimonies of God's grace and love. Like Isaac, who's a complete joker, but someone I am at ease with. Like Dennis, my crazy EL partner who though has a wacky sense of humour, is someone I can argue about EL with. Like Jaslyn, who despite only having taken one module together, tries to find time to have lunch with me and pray for me. Like LiXin, my mdm, who tries to make time to meet me. And the list can go on and on at times.

Why am I sharing this, because God has showed me that forging friendships that go beyond the superficiality of academics is entirely up to us. And with God's grace, it can go a long way. I can safely say for sure that I'll maintain the friendship I share with Pearlyn, Jasmine, Isaac and Dennis for as long as I can. I can safely say that I'll meet up with Jaslyn once in a while, and also with LiXin, Cindy, Siyun, Shi Hui and Yan Ying among others... and I really really feel, that this is all God's grace unto me.

All along my life, I've been blessed with wonderful friends. From young, people like Michelle, Amy, and most importantly, Abby. To secondary school where I had Bryan, Joel, the prefects, the NCC (Air) guys, and my tuition friends. I remember getting close to Jessie again, and making close new ones like Jennifer, Jasmine mei, and well.. a whole load of other meis.

VJC was perhaps the most happy and the most arduous moments of my life. But God blessed me with the 20th Students' Council, with people like Kristy K, Joel Lee, Hui Zhi, Hui Yi, Sanjay, Samuel, Siva, Edrei, Deepak, Gracie.. and a whole lot more. Not forgetting my class, 03S13, and the odd people like Anhua, SueAnn, Theodora, Chiew Mei, Tryphena, and sweet juniors like Kandy, MIn Xuan, Jing Yi, Santosh, Hazel, Jaclyn, Shi Ying and Audrey. Many fond memories were made here, and many challenges faced that I eventually overcame.

Then came the army... arduous days. But from BMT, Kenneth, Shane and Wei Cheng, who I still meet up with once in a while, are great. OCS.. not many memories there... but I loved my SOCE and 30 SCE days.. Zhiyuan, Samuel, Ervin, Gabriel... these people are wonderfully fantastic people that I don't mind spending time with, and even loved spending time with. All the late nights at the mess, or chit chat sessions.. gosh... wonderful.

And now, in NUS... time really flies... but the Lord has been gracious. I also have to add in my beloved JB TRIBE! haha.. This is one family I really cherish and love... =) For reasons that I just can't put into words... People like my cell, Felicia, Yvette, Audrey, Michelle, Xiaoyun, Cheryl, the Step Up crew, Wei Lin, Joshua, Clarence, Pastors and so much more... It's really really amazing how God brings people into my life.

Most of all, there's always God. =) For without Him, all these would not have been possible.

I'm starting to see more reasons why our God is so great... =) And I hope that I never lose sight of that. =)

Dear Mandy,

I came across perhaps one of the most touching songs that I've ever heard in my whole 22 years on this planet...

No surprises it's sung by Martina McBride. =)

Here are the lyrics...

God's Will

I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves
It hid the braces on his legs at first

His smile was as bright as the August sun
When he looked at me
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost
Made me hurt

Will don't walk too good
Will don't talk too good
He won't do the things that the other kids do,
In our neighborhood

(Chorus:)
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was until
I knew God's Will

Will's mom had to work two jobs
We'd watch him when she had to work late
And we'd all laugh like I hadn't laughed
Since I don't know when

Hey Jude was his favorite song
At dinner he'd ask to pray
And then he'd pray for everybody in the world but him

(Chorus)

Before they moved to California
His mother said, they didn't think he'd live
And she said each day that I have him, well it's just
another gift
And I never got to tell her, that the boy
Showed me the truth
In crayon red, on notebook paper, he'd written
Me and God love you

I've been searchin', prayin', wounded, jaded
I guess I would be still
Yeah that was until...
I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves

I really feel like crying when I hear this song, because it speaks so simply, and so innocently of how a kid diagnosed with cerebral Palsy can comprehend such a simple thing that God loves him... and God loves us. The video is on my sidebar, by the way... =)

How great is our God? Very... and I believe that this song, like some of the other songs that remind me of God's grace, will remain with me for quite some time...

Because of the simplicity of God's love.
Because in every difficult situation, God's love shines.
Because in all honesty, God is faithful.
Because... God sent His son to die for us on the cross.

And at the end of the day.. all I can say is... wow... =)

Dear Mandy..

Well, time really flies.. it's week 5 of the 1st Semester of my 2nd year as an NUS FASS student, and this semester feels the fastest of all the semesters thus far! And I have absolutely no idea why...! I wonder if it's because of the fact that this semester, I managed to have a 3 day week, but then again, last semester I also had a 3 day week!!! So why the change in feeling...?!?! I have no idea..

On a separate note, Project CLASS for my group officially ended, and I feel rather liberated. My group's toilet painting went relatively well, though the end product still requires touching up, but I'm already rather thankful that we managed to finish the project. Pictures are here!!

This is how the doors of the toilet look like...

This is found above the urinals...

This is where the sinks are.. I painted the rainbow!!!

Whenever I looked at the toilet, I felt quite a sense of achievement... given that this was completed with a group of about 6, and with some help from their friends, and they're only Secondary School students, I think that it's a good and positive result. Though there are many more things that are desired out of it... haha... =) Had my final debrief with them last Monday... =)

Encounter camp was next from 5th to 7th September, and it was a really wonderful experience there... God's grace and fervour was obvious throughout the whole encounter, and there were many a time where I myself was quite surprised at the things I could do. There was no explanation except that it was all due to God's grace, and His glory! From the start to the end... it was all, very simply put, surreal.

Back to school... and rushing assignments and tutorials and project research.. been in school since 9.30am till now.. going home at about 8pm only... I must get more work done if I want to be able to rest and to make time for more things to happen... oh well... =) Onwards!!!

Dear Mandy,

So many things are happening all at the same time that there are times when I find it rather hard to breathe.

What is freedom? This question just popped into my mind... a lot of people think that freedom is being able to do what you want, and to be who you want to be. But then, a lot of ambiguity pops in. Freedom is essentially a social construct. Many a time, when people say that they have the freedom, they overlook that one thing.

As for myself... I'm trying to come to terms with some stuff, and it'll take sometime, probably. Perhaps this is another example of dying to myself even as I attempt to set new boundaries, and have a newer mindset. Life really isn't all it's spruced up to be. And though we all want to be ourselves, I guess the truth underlying it all is that, what extent are we allowed to be ourselves? When what we are supposed to be are determined already by social situations?

Well... it's definitely a Philosophical question at the back of my mind even as I'm looking at the situation at hand, and attempting to reset and fine tune certain boundaries.

Once this week is over, I guess I'll take a major major back seat in certain things, and try to sort this question out amidst all the studying and assignments and tests that are coming up one at a time. I'll keep trying.