Dear Mandy,

I didn't get the Teaching Scholarship, didn't even make the shortlist, but I'm ok. :) Honest... a little disappointed, but I know I'll be ok. Because God has a greater plan and use for me, and also because it's not the scholarship that defines me as a teacher. It's who I am, what I do and the impact I make that defines me as a teacher. So I may not be able to rise through the ranks of the Education Ministry as fast as a scholar would. So I may not be able to get the pay rise and the courses that a scholar would. It doesn't make me any different, neither does it change my outlook on teaching.

I think that ultimately, when I look at things from a different perspective, I see hope, and an ending that can only be carved out by faith and lots of hard work. I'm beginning to see more and more, the wonderful work of God in my life, the more I turn to Him, and the more that I give to Him, I can just feel that things are going to work out for the best. It's an amazing fact, and a really strong truth... I just can't put into words what I feel? But I can only say that it's nothing short of miraculous.

I had a relatively fun day today. It's really teaching that makes me happy. Doing answers for the Chemistry Mock Test for 4D and 4E just made me feel really fun. Explaining the answers to the students, answering their questions, interacting with the class... it just epitomised my passion for teaching. I think God showed me today that a good teacher isn't necessarily a scholar. A good teacher just is one. I'm not there yet... I can't even put myself in the same legion as an average teacher, but I want to be one. I aspire to be the best relief teacher that I can be, or even, in Bedok North Sec. As much as possible, I want to be seen as a hardworking individual, with a passion for teaching, and a caring yet disciplined teacher. I believe with God's grace, I can be all those, and much more. I don't know if it's really a high ambition or what not, but I'm beginning to love going to school more than I've ever felt... If not for the students, then for the job.

I take back whatever I said about growing distant from 1D... Because God has given me a new revelation. It doesn't mean that a friendship stops when I leave; it doesn't mean that my lovely angels will forget me when I leave. It does mean we don't communicate that often with each other, it does mean that I can't be there for them when they need a teacher. I guess what's important is that I leave them with an open door... that they can turn to me when they need to talk to someone, that ultimately... I'm a friend to them.

Kinda feel like my blog has become quite difficult for me to post certain things. Haha... but it's ok. Somethings were not meant to be public anyway... haha... in any case, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to Gayne, Felicia jie, Kenneth, Shane, ShuXin and Xiao Yuan... haha... Gayne because of her ever comforting presence, Felicia jie for her prayers, Kenneth for letting me rant, Shane for his advice, ShuXin for her perspective, and Xiao Yuan for her encouragement to me last time. Haha... it has been quite a struggle to come to terms with myself and teaching, but I guess all I wanted was for a chance to not babysit and give them work to do, but to actually, teach a subject that I like. And I got that today...of course, I'd also have to thank everyone else who had been praying for me, and being concerned for me. I appreciate it loads!

On to more personal things... I'm turning 21 in a while.. Gosh, feels like I've come a long way... I can't believe that it's soon... *Sighs*. But I think I've been relatively contented with the last 21 years of my life. I was born into a good family, went to a good Pri Sch, was part of a Victorian Family for 6 years (one of the best times of my life), then I went to the Army for 2 years, and now, here I am... It's been a long journey to get to where I am thus far, but I know that the road ahead is also going to be tiring... I'll hold on tight. Because I know that God's with me for this ride, as well as my closest friends about. :) I have them, and I believe I can make it through.

Thank you all... :)

Dear Mandy,

I think that I've lost it... today, I showed my utter disappointment and felt like total crap. I felt useless today... and it's awfully sad! I mean, I think that I really need to get a hold of myself, and be a more disciplined and strict teacher, just so that I can have more order in class, but truth being, in doing so, am I compromising on freedom in class? I mean, I really really want a class that's chatty and lively in class, but also attentive to the lesson... like how Sany's classes were... fun, interactive, yet disciplined. I think I set my standards to be like Sany or Mr. Ong. I just really want to succeed as a teacher... but I just felt so small and so useless today, that it became rather pointless to a certain extent to have to teach... and yet I tried to...

Is it always going to be like that? That my students may be those who really don't bother about lessons, whose sole purpose for coming to school is to mingle with the friends they've got? I need to find inspiration and a way to motivate them... I really do. I don't want to spend every single day just routinely going about, doing day to day work with no idea whatsoever in my mind on what's going to happen, and what may happen. And the most pressing question on my mind would be, did the student leave understanding something? I've been trying to find my encouragement from "Chicken Soup for the Teachers' Soul" and have found a couple of really good stories that have been rather motivating. But I fall short of inspiration. So far, my attempts to make class interesting and fun have fallen short of what I'd call a success... but I'm thankful that Hafiza, Xiao Fung and Siew Gek gave me good feedback, and despite the naughty and rowdy nature of my guys, deep down inside, I can sense that there is that desire to do well... but the only thing I have to do, is try to open up that door... I know I can.. the only question is how.

Then, there's my 1D angels... it's kinda sad. I can feel myself becoming increasingly distant from them. And sadly, I think that that's the only way to go. I have to distance myself from them, so that when the time comes to leave them, it won't be that difficult, because I'd have known by then that I have no emotional attachments to them. But it's still sad, because when I see them, or those that I'm close to, there's an urge to talk to them, but a reluctance to do so. Somehow, it's also that feeling that I'm not that welcome into their life anymore as well. Ever since the whole fiasco with 23rd, somehow or rather, I've become more sensitive to situations like these. Or rather, to prevent another devastating blow, I've been preventing myself from coming to terms with such situations. I know I know, be more thick skinned right? But that's not me.

Then there's 1H. Hmm.. how shall i begin? I think the class is a very vocal and expressionistic class. They're those who like hands on more than anything else. And of course, they're those who have the attention spans of 5 minutes. So it's kinda evened out... haha... but I've got 8 more weeks with them, and I'll get to know them more as time goes by, i hope...

So, looking at it, Jacob tells me to be more patient with the students and myself... I guess I'll have to.

Dear Mandy,

Matthew 19:26
And looking at them Jesus said to them, " With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I serve a mighty God. That much is certain. This entire week, I have been able to get through it through sheer hard work, and with the grace of God as my strength. I don't think I'd have been able to get through it any other way. It's amazing, really, when I think of it. I've had so much to do, and so little time, and yet, God provides for me in many ways.

Today, I suddenly received an sms on my hp, and I just went to check. Surprise of surprises when it came from MOE Scholarship Centre, asking me to check my e-mail for details on my application for an MOE Teaching Scholarship. So tentative me, jumped out of my bed where I was reading a book, grabbed my laptop, switched it on, and impatiently waited for it to boot up. The whole time, I prepared myself for the worse, thinking that it would tell me that my application was going to be unsuccessful. But would you believe it, I checked my e-mail, and they told me this:

"Dear Applicant
MOE TEACHING SCHOLARSHIPS

Please refer to your PSC scholarship application. As you had indicated “Teaching” as one of your choices, PSC has referred your application to MOE for our consideration.

Interviews will be conducted from April to June 2007. If you are shortlisted for an interview, we will contact you with the details of the interview. We will also inform all unsuccessful applicants. "

Well, I know that it's not really much to be happy about, because for all I know, I may not even make the shortlist. But I kept running into problems with my application for PSC... They don't even have my A level grades (B C C, it's not much I know), given that everything is computerised. I mean, they have my O Level grades.. how can they not have my A Level grades right? So I actually said a little prayer, and then left it be. I left it all in God's hands, and believed that if it was going to happen, then it would. So God answered this prayer of mine... I'm thankful. Praise God for his miracles.

I just watched this awfully impactful movie called "Facing the Giants." A movie that exudes God's glory, a movie that shows the power of God. I think that that really speaks for itself. That we should never give up, never back down. But most importantly, we should never lose faith.

I think that I'm losing faith in myself as a teacher, being honest. I faced it this week quite often. And I think that honestly? I really need to get myself away and re focus my priorities. I want to help my students to achieve what they can achieve, not because they feel they have to. But how can I do so? How can I make that happen? Miss Kannu told me something that made me feel a bit better. We can pray... and I was like, that's right. When all else fails, only through God can all things be possible. As long as our hearts are right, and our hearts are for God, then God will care about us, and the people we care for as well. Because we serve a great God.

I need some inspiration.. and I believe that God is there, and He will show me the way... but for now, I just have to keep being faithful, because I serve a Faithful God.

Hey Mandy,



I was just surfing around and came across Carrie Underwood's American Idol 4 Final single, "Inside Your Heaven." This song still never fails to amaze me that Carrie's vocals are pretty strong. And well, still gives me goosebumps at times as well... haha... I think she's become one of my favourite artistes. :)

Dear Mandy..

Passion. How oft it is that my life revolves around this word. It is a simple word, but it can mean the world to me. Be it being passionate about Victoria, or passionate about my work, or passionate about teaching, or passionate about my friends, the word is still, passion.

Today's OVA meeting really enlightened me on a lot of things. Things about Victoria, things about teaching, and on a side note, certain revelations, that I'm unable to talk about at this point of time... and the thing is, it got me thinking... and I found myself yearning once again for somebody to talk to... this week, the holidays in general, I've been sleeping a lot, reading a fair bit, did some work, but mostly, I think that I'm still trying to find some sort of peace to my inner self. I've been talking a lot to Xiao Yuan (who seems to be rather preoccupied this period of time), ShuXin (who REALLY shouldbe taking better care of her ankle), Gayne (who needs to rest a little bit more), Jacob (working in KL at the moment...) and Hui Zhi (Who should be on her way home from her 2nd performance for Evocation 2007).

Somehow... talking to the above 5 just make me feel better... especially to Jacob and Gayne... I could just be totally free and open to them... more to Jacob of late, since Gayne's having her A Level year, so she's awfully busy... I try as much as possible not to disturb her. But yesterday, I told Jacob that I'm quite tired emotionally... and in the end, we started to talk heart to heart... of course, the puns would come in as is the normal case for the both of us, but in the end, I guess we actually talked about things that were really affecting us. It felt kinda good...

Well, as for today's meeting, I heard some things, and I started to think a lot a lot. About teaching, about Victoria. I realised how important it is to have your heart in the right place when you teach, and about how you approach the students... how you can encourage and motivate them to do better, how you can make their lives a difference. Because as a teacher, like it or not, the students are watching your every move, and they actually do, to a certain extent, listen to what you say. I dunno... but if you show that you genuinely care, they actually listen a little more. And I need to stop treating a lesson like a lesson, and try to take it as an opportunity to make a difference... How can I make a lesson come to life... that's something I think I have to really really reflect on... Even though I'm doing casual relief... how can I make the lesson worth the time... that's probably a challenge that I have to look at now, and one, I'm very certain, I will be happy to tackle.

About Victoria... I think that there's cause to fight not. I can somehow sense that the bitterness that has been building inside of me, has finally found an avenue to speak out. I'm glad that it may come soon... well, let's see where it goes.

I'll reflect about all these tomorrow... or on saturday when I'm at VJC... I'm just looking forward to my personal time and peace...

Dear Mandy,



Ok, I think that this is the Youtube one... :)

Anyway, The song is called "Don't forget to remember me" by Carrie Underwood. The lyrics are as follows:

"Don’t Forget to Remember Me
(Morgan Hayes, Kelley Lovelace, Ashley Gorley)

Eighteen years had come and gone
For Momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loadin’ up that Chevy
Both tryin’ not to cry
Momma kept on talkin’ puttin’ off goodbye
Then she took my hand and said
Baby don’t forget

1st Chorus:
Before you hit the highway you better stop for gas
And there’s a fifty in the ashtray if you run short on cash
Here’s a map and here’s a Bible if you ever lose your way
Just one more thing before you leave
Don’t forget to remember me

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep tellin’ me I’m on my own
Just like every Sunday I called Mama up last night
And even when it’s not I tell her everything’s all right
Before we hung up I said
Hey Mama don’t forget

2nd Chorus:
To tell my baby sister I’ll see her in the fall
Tell Mama that I miss her yeah I should giver her a call
And make sure that you tell daddy that I’m still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be
But don’t forget to remember me

Bridge:
Tonight I find myself kneelin’ by the bed to pray
Haven’t done this in a while so i don’t know what to say
But Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big old place
Yeah I know there’s more important things
But don’t forget to remember me"

Well, I think that the lyrics are awfully touching... I mean, it's not often I find a song that can put such emotions into words and into such a touching song as well... there's a lot of things that I think we can all relate to at some point of time... MOre importantly, the little things that we take for granted in everyday life... like "Telling your daddy that you're still his little girl", "praying to the Lord", and other things..

But to me, most importantly, don't forget to remember the people who you love and cherish each and every day... Hope you all like this song.

(P.S., if this doesn't work, I'll go and upload the youtube video instead...)

Dear Mandy,

I think that today's service was really good. This entire series on the book of Ephesians has been quite an enriching and visual one, what with Ps Khong doing all his actions to signify the two things: The Belt of Truth and the Breastplate of Righteousness, which are only parts of the Armour of God. As Warriors of Light, we all ought to put on the Armour of God in our quest to overcome Satan's hold on us. For in 2 Corinthians 2: 14 states "But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place." And as Warriors of God, the armour of God is an essential piece of defense.

Today, the 3 main pointers were to 1) Remove the old self, 2) Renew the mind and 3) To put on the new self. Ultimately, it's a step to make this year truly a year of Victory. So far, God has shown his powers in the numerous events he has made a success, and in answering my prayers also... though not all, but most of them. ANd I'm still trying to learn about His reasons as to why things happen, but I also know that sometimes, I won't know until much later, even a few years later. But I trust in God's plan... because I know that it is beautiful.

As the holidays loom up ahead, I feel that I need my personal time... sometime to seek God and feel God, and also some time to reflect on everything that has happened thus far. For quite some time now, I found myself pretty suppressed and everything... and it wasn't until that time that I started running and everything that I found out how suppressed I was. And how important personal time is. Ahh... looking forward to a run by the beach and then a talk by the beach with either close friends, or God... either way, I think that I'd feel much more refreshed after my personal time, and also some prayer time. I think that Joel is right.. I do need time to myself... :)

Dear Mandy,

I just finished watching 2 Korean movies and the 2nd disc of 7th Heaven Season 2... yay... I finally managed to get some time off to watch them... I didn't go for the NUS Openhouse in the end, I was so tired that I slept until it was about 3pm... so yeah, I technically missed cell as well, and feeling very guilty about that... :(

Though the first movie, "Bungee jumping of their own" was relatively weird, I did like the ending quote, that is now my sub-nickname on MSN. "It's not just because I love you... it's because all I can do, is love you." I think that's an awfully sweet line... but to mean it... well, that's another thing altogether... don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you'll never love someone? It's just... I don't think I've ever reached the stage whereby I love someone so much to the extent that everything I do, I do it for that person... Of course, no matter how much I love God, I can never love Him as much as He loves us... but to love someone mortal so much... I just cannot imagine how powerful and touching that must be...

But the 2nd movie, "Now and Forever" was really one heck of a good movie. I initially thought that the title of the movie was just about a guy loving a girl, that even after she dies, he would still love her forever. I mean, most Korean dramas are like that. So i watched it, and the story develops pretty nicely... A playboy falls in love... in real love for the very first time. And the lady is in the hospital for a terminal disease... and it's really touching, the things that he did... learning how to fish because she wanted to go fishing... driving his car and placing it at the bus stop because he knew that it would be too late to get a bus... recording a video clip and asking the phone company to send it to her phone at exactly midnight... buying her a new phone... and a lot more... and she's so strong as well... always putting on a brave front and being happy despite her condition. And well, they start going out and everything? And then, of course, there came the time when she refused to see or talk to him because she wanted him out of her life... At that point, i thought it was because he found out about her condition, that's why he was so upset... but that wasn't the case, as i found out much much later in the movie. So anyway, in order to win her back, he went to apologise to each and every one of the girls that he had hurt previously... and finally, one girl gave him the evidence that he had tried to apologise... and she got so touched that they started dating officially.

That started another sweet part, but the punch came when he suffered a very bad headache and ate medicine, and it was then that the audience would find out that he had been diagnosed with a brain tumour, and he won't live for much longer either... and at the same time, the girl was sent to the hospital for a relapse... then, they sneak out of the hospital to see this tree that she grew up with during her childhood. And they were originally 2 trees... but the trees loved each other so much that they intertwined their branches and eventually became one. And this kinda reminded me of what I had just read in the Bible... that when a man leaves his father and mother to be with his wife, they are no longer 2 separate people but they become one. I guess that tree personifies that particular fact.

On the plane ride home, the girl suffers a relapse, and upon touchdown, was sent directly to the hospital. While moving to the Emergency room, the guy suffers a relapse and he collapses as well...and the girl dies without seeing the guy, but she whispers "Saranghaeyo" which only the guy can hear... days after, the guy goes back to the tree, to receive a video sms that she had reserved for to send to him that very day. And in it, she talks about their past, and said that she wasn't going to Heaven alone, because she knew about his condition. And all along, she pretended that she didn't know... and the video ends off with her saying "Thank you so much for loving me." THus, the title, "Now and Forever"...

I know, I'm a romantic sap, but I can't help it. Hahaha... that being said, I also know that I have to set apart my boundaries right. I'm starting to get awfully close to my angels, and I read just now in Chicken Soup for the teenage Soul Journal this quote "I'm learning more and more that love plus attachment equals pain." and I think that this really applies... Because when I leave them, I think that I'd be quite sad... oh I dunno... but I do know that I have to be careful of the ground I'm treading on... and keep a mental note of the way I treat my kids as well. I guess I have to be more aware now that I'm a teacher, and that I'm almost 21... I have to be more responsible.

Weather these days has been rather humid... *grumble*... if only it snowed in Singapore. Hahaha... :)

Dear Mandy,

It's the end of Term 1 of Academic Year 2007. And I guess I ended on a high... Because I ended the day by talking to my angels, seeing their report cards, and also managed to squeeze in time to talk to Yuxiao, Yi Wei, Shereen, Serene and also Adeline... and they got me thinking.

Well, firstly, I talked to Yi Wei and Shereen first, and we had a talk about grades and entry to JC. Honestly speaking, this year's admission criteria has been really demanding and everything... Suzanne didn't make it to VJC with partial 6, so things are looking to be more and more stringent for everyone. And as a result, people have to work harder, and do better in order to make their admission a guaranteed thing. Is it necessarily good? Perhaps... it makes people work for what they want... but well... I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I managed to get a peek at my angels' report cards also. XY got 18, Carissa got 25, Shyn Yee got I think it's 16, Am got 11, and Asyiqin got 19. Hahhaa.. not too bad not too bad. Quite proud of them le. A lot of them have made significant improvements... when you look at their Pri Sch results, them attaining such grades have shown the amount of effort that they have put into their work, and it makes me as a teacher awfully happy and proud of my angels.

Then, I chatted to Yuxiao for quite some time also... and Yuxiao made me feel both paiseh and quietly happy at the same time. MIss Jia, as I call her, confided in me that she was quite unhappy cause all the good teachers that she had are all leaving... Miss Seet handed her class to MIss Mok, I'm leaving soon as well, as did her last year teacher. So, I dunno... it gave me the quiet confidence that I'm doing well. But paiseh also, because I'm kinda overshadowing certain perm staff... and it scares me to a certain extent, because I'm just teaching based on passion and inspiration... and it seems like God's showing me that a simple heart can do a lot, and that faith can move mountains... Praise God... :)

As the holidays loom ahead, I look forward to a break as well as training! I need to run... haha... training regime with Zhiyuan up ahead!! Haha.. onwards!!

Dear Mandy,

A lot of thoughts are flowing through my head at this moment, as we speak. I feel like there's really a lot of things that are falling on me, and I'm actually feeling kinda overwhelmed.

Be it ethics, work or just in general, emotions, there just seems to be something there that's bothering me, and though for some, I know quite obviously what it is, but for the others, I'm still trying to find out what exactly it is... for the ethics part, I think that I seriously need to reevaluate myself and how close I'mg etting with the kids... including a mental check each time I approach a student... not only the female ones, the male ones included. Avoid showing favouritism is also another thing. It's like, I cannot show a student that I don't like as much less concern than I do a normal student. Hmmm... I also dunno really. I think that that is one thing that I have to work on when I become a full fledged teacher... being less baised.

About work... hmmm... I dunno if being casual relief is really what I'm looking for. But I will stay in the school. If not for the kids, if not for 1D, I may consider moving elsewhere where I have a permanent teaching slot. But, I also realised that there are kids here that need my help, or whatever help I can offer them, given that I myself have limited powers. But sometimes, when I see the kids, I just feel like giving my all to help them. It even prompted Yue Woon and Val to say that looking at what I'm doing for the kids, they're not surprised I have no time for a gf. Haha...and that coming from Yue Woon means something... in any case, I am thankful for God for having placed me here... I learnt a lot, and seen a lot, and it further strengthened my desire to teach.

As for emotional issues. THat's the one I can't seem to decipher what's wrong. I mean, I was just letting my thoughts wander just now, and it kinda occurred to me that I have no idea what's making my heart so heavy... I think that it's maybe an emotional phase, and I think that the holidays will give me the time I need to clear my thoughts and do some reflection on the last term. It's no secret that being emotional is still my biggest flaw to date... and my mood swings, though considerably much lesser, is still present. In small doses, it becomes more bearable and easier to manage. But the question is still at large... why am I feeling this way? I guess I'll need to find out why.

Hmmm, well, today I saw Yi Wei and Shereen being called for detention because they missed lessons for the SC General Meeting. Was genuinely surprised, as of all the councillors, I look very highly upon Yi Wei, Adeline and Shereen... but well, sometimes, the best leaders also slip, that much I must admit. And it's through these slips that they learn and become better leaders.

Been sharing a lot of things with my kids these last few days as well. Took them for Eng remedial yesterday, and well, I introduced a couple of quotes to them as well...

"Yesterday's history, Tomorrow's a mystery, Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
"To achieve great things, one must not only dream, but also act, not only act but also believe." -Anatole France

Those were just a couple of the quotes that I shared, and I actually had fun teaching them about tenses and everything. Honestly, I do love teaching a class that I'm prepared for, and especially when the class is full of my lovely kids. Though some are definitely attitude problem and what not, but I guess that deep down inside, there exists a kid that's yearning to learn... I hope I'm right about that analogy.

I picked up a copy of the reading material for the Sec 1s, and I was deeply impacted by the story of the boy who would call his hometown information booth with regards to any question he had... be it geography, math, or how to spell the word "fix". And each time, the same operator would pick up, and before long, he established a friendship with the operator. Now, we all grow up, and so did he, and he moved away. But he'd stil yearn to call the information sometimes... So he did, and well, the same operator picked up, and they both realised how much they had impacted each other. A few months later, the operator passed away, but she left a note for the boy... on it, she wrote, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He will understand." And he did.

Question here is, as teachers, we deal with our students everyday, and like it or not, they look up to us as a teacher, as a role model... and more importantly, as a friend. And then, I found myself thinking... have I managed to impact my kids? And also, have I been an impact to my friends? I'd like to think the answer is yes. In a way, subtle or directly, I have played a part in someone's life... and positively, I hope. It does make you feel good, and very often, we find outselves in need to be appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking to be acknowledged, or appreciated, but I'd just like to tell my friends who're reading my blog that whatever you have done to impact me or leave a memory with me is greatly appreciated.

Well, it's going to be 2 more days... I hope that it'll be a good 2 days before the break... :)

Dear Mandy,

I was starting to write a post to you, but my kids started approaching me with their problems, so I had to log out before I could come back and carry on writing. Amazing how these 13 year olds have so many things to ask, and that Asyiqin is one girl who definitely needs to cultivate patience. The girl has the patience of an ant! Dun get me online only then spam my tagboard. *Grumble* Someday should force her to do 1 hour of quiet, silent reading.

And then that Xue Qi. Go and see my friends' blogs and then leave a tag asking them for my e-mail add. I think I got quite paiseh about it cause when u get e-mails and smses from ur close friends asking about a tag from a girl named Xue Qi, you kinda get pretty embarrassed cause it reflects that you can't seem to handle your class.

But that aside, this week thus far has been rather eventful, and if I may say so myself, full of God's grace and His work in me. Let me start with the preparation phase leading up to Victorians' Day.

Since I already talked about Tuesday, I'm just going to fast forward it over to Thursday first. Given that Thursday was the
day that the Elects were going to clear out the banner room and all, I went down to supervise them. As expected, they were released late from their meeting with the 23rd, and well, I couldn't supervise them as much as I would have liked to. And of course, the incident with Marc. I kinda get the idea that 23rd just don't want me around... haha... perhaps it's because I've been too blatant about their flaws and the flaws of their seniors. But I'm okay with it. Because, I kinda realised that there's really not much point in helping out the newer Council batches. I'm not keen to use my OVA authority and stamp it all over just so I can have a say in the Council development, and I have no other authority to do anything else. So, I'm thinking twice about returning for Elects camp, and though I appreciate the tactful approach by Marc, I also did tell him that his Council has loopholes to close.

Had a meeting with James after that, and the Elects surprised me when they finished clearing the room by 8.30pm! Super efficient manz! And of course,I used whatever opportunity I could to hone the Elects' leadership. But it wasn't a lot, definitely, and when I left school, I just kinda felt like 24th seemed to be performing better than 23rd at this point in time.

Friday saw a mad frenzy, and the A Level result release. Quite thankful that God answered my prayers that those that I care about like Gwen managed to secure grades that are relatively good. Also, quite glad that VJC did well. Then, Jacob came down, and we started the meeting with the SC and CT. Then the execution phase... Due to the rain, and the A Level result release, a lot of unforseen circumstances popped out of nowhere, and we found ourselves having to work on a reactivity phase. Of course, we did what we could, and were left with a couple of banners and the hall setup to go. THen, it was mass dance with the elects... that didn't go very well, cause I kept having to be somewhere else and everything... but overall, I think I had a good prep.

Had a meeting with James after that and talked things out with him. Victorians' Day was looming, at at that point of time, somehow, God seemed to tell me that the response would hit at most 300. So I told him so, but I think in the end, we both agreed that this event has been a relatively good journey thus far, and that we would leave everything to tomorrow. Then after that, Sanjay and I shifted to T11, where we had a long chat about the past and everything, before the gang reappeared and we had a quick closure.

THen, Aud, Jacob and I stayed overnight at VJC, and we had a fun time, if I say so myself. We did out own work, before we ended off with a long chat session that ended off with all of us finding out things that we never knew. Of course, I got suaned by Jacob lar... but I did enjoy catching up with Aud, and most importantly, bonding more with Jacob.

When we awoke the next morning, we packed up, and in no time, kickstarted the entire preparation phase at 7.30am in the morning. Efficiency and a sense of urgency were prevalent as we got the preparatory work done by 8.30am. I cannot remember clearly what else I was involved in, because everything just seemed to happen in a blur... I found myself being so engrossed in everything before I finally ended up waiting for Ser Luck at the porch. Ser Luck arrived, we went to the hall, and in no time, we started the event with the anthem, followed by a minute of silence for the VJC girl who passed away recently. Then, Ser Luck spoke a few words, and the exhibition game began! We lost 2-1 to the teachers, despite fielding a slip shot team... but in the end, what was important was that it was a good start, and then Ser Luck went over to the rock wall, where he attempted to conquer it. THen, he went for the prata breakfast, and I found sometime to actually walk around and savour the event itself.

The thing is... though the event was kinda sparse? But nevertheless, I could feel the VJC heartbeat pulsating slowly in the event. It felt like a mild awakening... the start of a rekindled fire... and I felt... suddenly... at ease with the college once again. It was like, all the college needed was us to return... the alumni to our alma mater... homecoming. Wow. The hall was the most vibrant... Chi Ching mommy was great! Haha.. she always is... but what touched me most was really, my committee and the way they rallied to get the event to fall where they may... everyone had a role to play... everyone fulfilled their role...

There was Sanjiv, the registration man. Sanjay, the logistician. Deepak the master of ceremony. Sanjee the sportsman. Shefong the pinch hitter. Audrey the stage manager. And of course, Jacob the troubleshooter. Of course, I have to thank Sangeeta and Zahida, who though could not be there for the event, were instrumental in the planning process as well. They made this V-Day the most successful thus far, and I'm awfully thankful. Of course, there were the VS Side to thank. Steven, Gim Sen, Lynal, Seng Huat, Edrei and Huei Siang. ANd my buddy, Zhiyuan.

The finale of mass dance had a less than anticipated response, but nevertheless, I had fun. Dancing friendship with Audrey... dancing mass dance with the members of 20th who were there. The mood ended pretty well... and well, I think that honestly, the event went well... especially the floorball and the prata! Hahhaa...

Of course, when I went home, I was already pretty tired, so I took a nap. I awoke only to find myself in cold sweat and shivering badly... Yeah... I fell sick, and as a result, I couldn't go to support Vee... I feel very bad... cause all along I had been unable to fulfill meeting Vee. Sigh... I could hardly down dinner cause of a bad sore throat and feeling queasy all over... but I managed to watch the Man U - Liverpool game, where Man U won. After which, I jus slept all the way till the next morning 9am.

Went to church, and well, God touched me in His amazing ways again. I was feeling really down and out, and I think it could be seen during worship. Then, Joel came to me, and asked me if there was anything he could pray for me for. And I said "To feel better?" And well, Joel just prayed. He started by praying that God would heal me, and of which, i felt better, and my cough subsided. But then suddenly, he paused. And told me "The Lord wants me to tell you that He loves you. Fall into His embrace and drink deep of His love. Don't judge your success but trust in His plan for me." Well, and it seemed that God was telling me all that. Because the next song was "From the inside out", and needless to say, I started to cry...

My thoughts actually started to wander from that point forth... and well, though I returned to my hyper self.. or rather, a shadow of it, my mind was elsewhere. Sure, I took notes on what Ps Khong was saying, and I felt that it did appeal to me, but inwardly, I think that I was honestly seeking for an answer to things... I didn't find it that day, but I could feel God telling me that in due time, He'd show me the answer.

We had a tribe meeting later... and it was a good meeting. Ps Jimmy challenged us to try to start the day with God... and I felt that God was gently calling me that I would be ready soon to try it, as I shared with our cell. And I believe that, once this school term ends, it's time to bring my devotion with God one notch higher.

Well, it's a new week, a new beginning. May the Grace of God see me through! :)

Dear Mandy,

How oft the fact that little minds run wild...
I always knew Xue Qi and Asyiqin were the more outspoken and rambunctious lot. I never expected Xiao Yuan to be so cheeky also. Hahaha... Tsk, tsk, Xiao Yuan teaching me not to read a book by it's cover alone... well, in case you don't know what these three lovely angels from heaven did, they spammed my tagboard with 107 tags, from like, 3pm onwards?! *Faint* Now perhaps it was a bad idea to give my blog address to my class... and I thought they'd be mature enough. Haha... well, Asyiqin, Xiao Yuan, Xue Qi, I'm not going to choose an angel amongst you three. You three are, to me, angels, just like everyone else in class... though yeah, there're some I'm closer to? But I care for you all the same... :)

Well, I watched the 3rd episode of 7th Heaven Season 2 today... (Yes yes, I finally managed to get in an hour to watch my ever increasing collection of unwatched DVDs... can hear all the laughter...) and this episode, though funny and everything, but spoke to me about one thing: how important it is to let your loved ones know that you love them, and how important it is not to say "I love you" to your significant other unless you're pretty certain that the relationship has become a commitment.. a commitment to marriage. I think that I was guilty of that before.. to say "I love you" to my ex girlfriends too quickly, too easily. I think overtime, those three words became oversaid, and lost its meaning... It kinda became a routine thing in the end, but I can say that when I was with Shi Ying, I meant it most of the time. I know it's not much, and may sound like an excuse. Ah... I guess that's why God hasn't sent the right one to me yet. I still need to learn the real meaning of saying "I love you" to someone who may be my significant other.

It's been kinda rocky for the Victorians' Day meetings thus far... seems to me that communication between the College and us have to be more clear... there're too many loopholes and everything already. *Sighs* It didn't help that yesterday, I was pretty stressed and all. I had to bite back for a good 15 minutes just to sit and compose myself before I could carry on working for V-Day and preparing CHemistry notes for my class. I think I'd been taking on too many things for my own good, and it didn't help that yesterday was a day of unhappy surprises... oh well, I'll take what I can... but I was really really thankful. Because God seemed to sense my breakdown, and He sent Gayne to me... haha...

Gayne and I were actually poring over Psalm 9, and she smsed me to ask me something about it. So I told her that I'm not in a very good mood. The next thing I know, I received an sms with this: "When the Oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father you are King above the storms, I will be still, know You are God." The exact same chorus I sent Gayne when God had first prompted me to do something. And Gayne, as for so often and for too long, became the one who encouraged me to go on. She said "Don't quite know what's bothering you, but keep praying for strength. I know you'll pull through." And I told her I know God's with me... for He gave His son for us, and I know that He loves us. And Gayne just smiled back at me. The next day, I got an sms from her :"You alright? Don't let it overwhelm you... You're sronger than all of this." The day suddenly seemed very optimistic... Hahaha...

Praise God for today as he gave me only 2 periods, so I managed to finish the notes. And I also switched off my phone for the entire day until about 2pm, because I felt kinda irritated that my phone keeps ringing or keeps getting smses... So I just switched it off. Though I got a lot of smses in the end, but I could do my work in school much better without that distraction, so Praise God... haha...

Well, let's hope tomorrow is a good day, because I think I'm going to have a long day. Haha... God bless you!

Dear Mandy,

Oh well, it's a new week and this week, it being the Chinese New Year week, I think I was sufficiently rested... haha... but how did I spend my time? Let's see...

On Sunday, I went visiting. First to Granduncle's house then to er.. Great Granduncle's house... then back to Granduncle's house... haha... then to Uncle Quek's house then to Ah Zhor's house then to 3rd Aunt's house before making one big U-Turn for home... I don't really know if it was as good as the previous days, but one thing is for sure, I felt rather awkward amongst my cousins whom I have kept minimal contact with, save Marjorie. Hahaha...

On Monday, I spent time at home marking papers.. before I realised that it wasn't Tuesday. -_- Yeah, u can imagine how peeved I was. Haha.. completely lost track of time and what nots. So I marked finished one set of Chemistry papers before I decided to take a break, and finished watching my 7th Heaven Season 1 tapes, and also hopped over to watch "Just follow Law" starring Gurmit Singh and Fann Wong. The movie was rather hilarious, and it did make sitting in Row A not so bad after all. After that, I went back to watch "The Lake House" and it reminds me now that I still have a bit of Red Wine left to finish off. Hahaha... oh wellz... but in any case, it was a good day... as you saw in my previous post, I really love "The Lake House". *Grinz* Romance has always been a personal favourite.

On Tuesday, I spent it at home marking papers and settling everything for Victorians' Day. It has been a roller coaster journey for Victorians' Day... and as much as I'm glad that the event is coming soon, I'm also quite worried about the event itself.

On Wednesday and also Thursday, I went to MOE Teachers' Network with Valerie for the Relief Teacher Course. Imagine how surprised I was to see ZhangHao there. Haha.. so of course, we sat together for the first day for the session. Well, this course has been a relatively good one. I learnt a lot of new things, and also had a whole new outlook on teaching in general. Sharing our experiences with teachers from other schools showed us that each school has their own problems, and that of different levels (primary and secondary) the teaching styles and the students are rather different. Naturally, it was very refreshing to learn new styles, and to hear real stories from not only our Facilitator, but also each other. Of course, I talked about my dear angels from 1D to them, and some of them were surprised that I had such a class. Pleasantly surprised, being the adjective that should be used. Haha... well, what can I say? My 1D is good wad... haha... of course, I dunno how they're like now, but when I took them, they were, without a doubt, a joy to teach.

Well, things took a sharp twist on the 2nd day when I shifted to sit with another group of teachers. This set was more vocal, so it was more fun working with them. Of which, Geraldine, Celina, Lily, Adeline and one more guy whose name I can't recall, had much fun discussing everything. Our sharing was also very interesting, since Celina was a Home Economics teacher, and I bonded pretty well with Celina, Geraldine and Lily.

However, a shock came just after lunch. ZhangHao asked me how tall I was. -_- I know I'm short la.. but I told him my exact height. Then surprise of surprises when he told me his colleague from the same school on the same course as us thinks I'm relatively good looking. Double -_-. Of course, my first reaction was that he's joking, but it turned out he wasn't. Ok, theory is: which part of me is good looking, pray tell? Unless I'm exuding the sweet aroma of God, which is the only possibility that I can think of at the moment. Ah.. why should I bother right? Hahha... but it was something of a surprise as well.

Thursday also saw me going to VJC for the Victorians' Day meeting, and I saw 23rd again. I dunno if I should be happy or not, but I was quite happy to see Sheena. Haha... she's one of the 23rd juniors that I think is great. Well, granted there aren't a lot, but oh well. Anyway, Shefong came for the meeting, and we kickstarted it off, hoping to end it within an hour or so. However, certain twists and turns caused us to end at 9pm, and it left me feeling a furore of emotions. Surprise, disappointment and sadness... not at my committee, my committee has been nothing short of wonderful thus far... but more towards the college and their help. I realised that I had been taking things for granted, and I need to be more proactive. James was right. Being in OVA really is just a voluntary basis. Working with the school, who think they don't stand to get anything from the Alumni has really woken me up. I needed to be more assertive, and to that, I will.

I returned to BNSS on Friday, and I really felt quite happy to be back. I think that 1D were a bit surprised to see me. Haha.. but oh well. Kickstarted the day with 1H for Social Studies, but it really wasn't a good start at all... Though the resident trouble maker was relatively well behaved this time around, but in any case, the class in general was still noisy... sigh. Even resulted in a teacher coming in to scold them... ugh. The constant announcements for the teachers to go for photo taking was no help either... causing more of a distraction than anything else. The day flew by quickly with myself being assigned a new E Math slot for remedial for this Sec 5B boy... oh well... it's another challenge that God has sent me, so I gladly took it.

Towards the end of the day, I ended up chatting to my 1D girls again at the canteen, and also Yi Wei. Yi Wei's at Chapter 2 of "To Kill a Mockingbird" so yeah, it's not a bad progress... I can't really remember the story for "To Kill a Mockingbird", but I know that when i read it in Sec 2, I was pretty enthralled, so Yi Wei should be as well. Then, I played guitar to my 1D, and Julia, being Julia had to make a wise crack. But then of course, I kinda realised that I need to be more assertive also, and that I really should start watching my actions. Cannot afford to get too close to them anymore.

After that, I went home to rest for a while, then headed down to Redhill for Felicia's baptism and Victor's transfer. It was really a moment for celebration, and I was really quite happy that Victor's transfer finally came through. Of course, Feli's testimonial touched me, really, and well, I felt that God convicted me to pray to him during worship, which I did, and after that, just really felt better. Was so happy to see Wei Lin, and well, talked to Suzanne as well... hopefully she gets to stay at VJC... I'll pray extra hard for her. Then of course, I even got a chance to take a picture with Evelyn Tan. And then, God spoke when XiaoYun smsed me while I was on 147 on the way home that God had spoken to her to bless me... well... I really needed that, especially after Thursday's meeting, and the new predicament that had happened to VS... I went home, worked till late... and yar.

On Saturday, I went to Lincoln's house for New Year, and had a good chat with the people there. Lincoln, Wilson, Vincent, Ming Min, Yi Qiang and a lot of other people. It was quite disconcerting to know that the S3 Department is in such a mess, and I dunno if there's anything I can do about it. Sigh... well, left at about 3pm before I went home to rest... and then, I went out for dinner before I headed to Paya Lebar Coffee Bean for the meeting with VS. The result we decided on was rather disappointing. THat after so many days of brainstorming and planning, we had to convert VS to a recreation school. Sigh... luckily Man U won Fulham yesterday... hahaha...

Today, I went for Post Encounter. OFFICIALLY GRADUATED TO SOL 1! Hahahaha.. yay. But today's service was good... and well, I prayed for Sanjee today. I now remember that I want to include him in my prayers because... well, just because.

Well, been in a very off and on mood these last few days. Had a total emotional attack and got very confused.. especially when I chatted online to Sheena and to Jacob... Sigh... need to get a hold on my emotions, that much is certain... *Sighhz*

Okay, onwards to a new week with God's grace and His blessings!!

Dear Mandy,

I just finished watching "The Lakehouse" and, my goodness, it is one of the sweetest and most touching shows I've watched thus far. Add on "A Walk to Remember", "The Notebook", "ElizabethTown", and all my Korean movies, this movie has to stand out as one of the better ones I've seen thus far...

I know I know... I'm really slow, taking like half a year to watch "The Lake House" since it was released ( I can just hear people laughing... :S), but I like to take my time and savour all these shows... u know, letting the hype of how good a movie it was die away before I take my time to slowly break it down and bask in the romantic ambience of everything. Though yeah, I'm not the one involved in it per se, but it's nice to know and try to think about where the romantic inspiration comes from... and it does give the entire moment a stronger and more real feel... call me a sap, but I really like doing that.

It's been so long also since I last felt like doing something romantic for people, and the amazing thing is, of late, I feel that my romantic tune is playing again... There's that feeling of wanting to do things for people again, and to make the extra effort to make people feel special... It all started when I decided to get the "Hugs for Teachers" books for Wei Lin, Ps Bel and YanXi, and then subsequently birthday presents for Yi Wei and Adeline, and then the individual hp chains for my angels. And of course, re attempting to write poetry when I wrote one for Valentine's Day inspired by the V-Day poetry challenge, but I didn't submit my entry in the end. Haha.. lame right?

Okay, in any case, I'm quite glad for the fact that I have this huge break. As much as I'm going to miss my kids because I won't be able to see them for close to 1 week, but I think the distance will give me some time to do some reflection and thinking... especially so about how I want to approach my lessons, and also re-assess myself as a teacher. I think I have renewed vigour this week... especially after that talk with Joel, after having gone through Fiesta with 1D, after having received the letter for my course at MOE, and most importantly, because of all my quiet time with God through reading the Bible, prayers, and also "Hugs for teachers". Honestly speaking, I never expected "Hugs for teachers" to be so accurate in all their chapters... they seem to know what happens when... and the chapters seem to be so aptly placed... because at a point when I felt very desolate and in need of some sort of encouragement, I found it when I opened that book. They understand the challenges that teachers go through... and they too seem to know when we need it...

I think it's becoming increasingly difficult to find perspective at the moment... and for some reason, I'm immersing myself in work... or trying to immerse myself in work. Because I can seriously tell you that when I don't, my thoughts start to wander and I end up seriously wondering where life's going to take me in a few years' time. (Yes Jacob, I know what you're thinking about, after we had that discussion), and most importantly, my outlook on life then. I think I'm going to be a stubborn, self-opinionated and adamant guy in the future... and I told Gayne that. And I was so touched when she said "Well, you keep praying that you don't inherit those traits. Plus, I'm sure I'd tell you if you ever became like that." Haha, it's nice to know you have friends like these... Gayne has been a wonderful blessing to me... haha... She's always there, and never afraid to tell me what she thinks, even if it means a major dent on my ego. Hahaha... but that's why Gayne's special and one of my closest friends about. She's definitely not fake.

Realised a lot of people are going away for exchange... Dom, Pris, Kyle.. and especially so, after I met Jenna today, that I realised that it's a lot on personal effort to keep in touch with everyone. And I think that's one of my objectives this year... especially since Pris and Kyle are going off for one entire year! Sigh... the older we grow, the less time we have, the more we realise we need friends. And for me? An increasing need to hold on dearly to all my memories.

Fiesta @ BNSS was a blast... I really enjoyed working with 1D, and I bonded specifically with Am, Shyn Yee, YongJun and Asyiqin. I also managed to see who has leadership potential, and who are just there for the sake of being there. I'd definitely push for a select few to go in... but there are some that I know that no matter what, at this point of time,they're definitely not slated for leadership in the SC. Maybe in the near future, but at the present moment, they have to hone themselves before anything else can happen.

Alright, that's all... for today... been thinking a lot and too much for my own good... sigh...

Dear Mandy,

How oft it seems that fatigue can make one lose his mind. In the case of myself, I become hyperactive, and perhaps, in the case of today, went overboard with my teasing and sarcasm. But I guess that that's no excuse to begin with, because as a teacher, and a 20 year old, I ought to have more control over myself and my actions. But that's otherwise said as well... I'm beginning to wonder where the line stands you know? The line of where I need to watch where I should refrain myself from saying or doing too much lest I become inappropriate as a teacher... I wonder.

I guess for too often until now, I've been trying to control my actions, that in moments of craziness, I go totally overboard and become what they term, hyperactive... either that, or I've been working and immersing myself into my studies or CCA too much, that when I have a chance to let loose, I just go totally and completely bonkers. But now, as a soon to be adult, I guess I have to be more reserved, more disciplined, more strict and more mindful of the things I do. *Well, too bad for my students then... this MAY just be the new me... *

Today, I kinda pissed off 2 of my 1D Angels. One of them was cause I teased her too much about a boyfriend that's not exactly her boyfriend, and the other was cause he wanted me to help him solve a problem that was not within my scope and capacity to do so. So, I became rather sarcastic and overbearing on him, and I think he lost his cool in the end... I know I ought to feel sorry for what I've done, especially to him, but in a weird sense, I think that though I should be less sarcastic, but I feel that I was right in doing what I did. I cannot afford to please everyone, and especially not so when students become over reliant and start becoming overly dependent. Ok, so I will watch my language and my sharp words, but I should also look at certain traits that I wanna inculcate in my students while I still can.

The fun fair at BNSS is coming soon, and seriously, I was disappointed in my kids when a certain new restriction on their water game let me see clearly the attitudes and characters of a group of my students. Why I'm disappointed, I shan't say. But it clearly let me know that leadership is still a distance away for them, and in general, my class as well. Honing them will take time, but though there are potentials, let's just say that it's still early and that I'll need to see things out. But no matter what, I still am very thankful to God for having let me take this class. I think they're not bad, and a good class.

Leadership... It seemed that today is a day for talking and observing about leadership. I started the day with a discussion on leadership with Adeline, and it did bring me back to days of being a leader. In VS, in VJC and in the army, before I realised that at the moment, I'm still very much a leader, just in a different respite. Because instead of leading, I'm guiding. And that is much harder than before, but I also realised that I enjoy and like what I'm doing. I told Jacob this yesterday "Teaching. It became more of an anticipation than a job." And I realised that it's quite true. I look forward to each day, even if I slept late the night before, even if the day before was rotten because of a class I took, or even so much so as that the day before was a long day, I still look forward to teaching. And it soon dawned upon me that it's become a passion, and not a chore.

Amazing how God works, doesn't it? I'm still constantly in awe of all that He has done and told me... Praise God for his guiding light!

Dear Mandy,

Well, it's been another week, but in the last few days, I've been pretty tired out, and very very often, I could only just lie in bed at night, wondering what it is that I've gotten myself into. I also found myself being very very lost, and many a time, i just wished that there was a hug I could have from someone that would make me feel better. I turned to God many a time in prayer and in the Bible, and these last few days, reading the chapters on the book of Matthew, it seemed that each day, God would give me a subject title that would really make my day in school seem much much better, because it gave me something to turn to. Like on Tuesday, God imposed upon me this passage:

Matthew Chapter 11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

It struck me then that I really was tired, and needed much rest.. and that really really helped me throughout the day... because that very day, I was applied as an administrative assistant, who just had to do a lot of typing, and honestly speaking, it was, I realised, the first time I had no lessons, and was relatively free! But then again, typing took its toll on me as I attempted to speed type and managed to complete typing out 6 worksheets before feeling the fatigue. Praise God for his grace and mercy!

But as the days wore on, and I returned to teaching, it somehow struck me that I was still missing something... I was emotionally lacking in something. It didn't help that the next few days, I was very very involved in doing the planning for Victorians' Day, and my days in school were filled with periods of covering for teachers who were absent, or due to O level result release. I had as little as 6 periods a day, and as much as 11 periods a day, noting that a day only has 11 periods for lower sec and 13 for upper sec... and though I was my normal, happy self, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness when I look at the students... and I didn't really know why...

Friday was Yi Wei's birthday, also the most hectic day of the week in school thus far. Yi Wei is this Sec 3 Councillor who I think has a lot of potential, and she, together with Adeline, are 2 councillors I hope can make it into the SC Exco. So anyway, I spent the day running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and found out that there were a lot of discrepancies and administrative breakdown due to O level result release. I finally spent the last lesson in 3D, explaining mathematics to a guy, before I had the chance to read Yi Wei's personal account of an incident. Discovered her English is pretty broken, and Adeline also had voiced out to Yue Woon I think that the reading material I gave her was quite deep. So I decided to get a book for Yi Wei to READ. Cause I kinda deduced she either doesn't read enough or she reads the wrong kind of books.

On Thurs night, the OVA meeting, I voiced out that I cannot be the OIC for the Alumni Dinner because of myb pending exams, but they didn't seem to wanna let me off... sigh... But they'll discuss next week if they can change the IC to someone else. The meeting that day went awfully well... I really was happy that we started to shoot out our doubts and ideas, and we even despite everything, realised that student involvement was quite tied up by Mr. Kho, so we were much more ahead in our planning then we knew. The meeting ended on a high... and I thanked God profusely for giving me such a wonderful committee as well as a good meeting.

On Saturday morning, we had a meeting to finalise the planning stage details, and Praise God when we managed to find the CT Council Chairman to get all the details done! And after that, I had time to see the soccer boys play the old boys, where the old boys won 2-1. Then I also met Suzanne, and had a good chat with her. Also met up with Jacob's cousin! Before we met up with Edrei at Parkway.

We spent a good 3hours together... Jacob, me and Edrei, and we talked about a lot a lot of things. From council, to toilet sessions to our juniors... just reminiscing about the past. And the nostalgic mood probably carried forward when we met up with Joel and gang for Joel's birthday celebration. Sanjay, Sanjiv, Siva, Edrei, Deepak, Samuel, Jacob, Joel, Sara, Hui Yi, Hui Zhi and I just kept talking and talking, and a lot of secrets came out along the way, or rather, things we had never talked about. Sigh... I really missed my Council... and I can't put into words how I felt, but I was awfully awfully happy.

I went to tribe BBQ after that, only to launch immediately into a game of charades... haha... it was quite fun... acting out the whole topic on movies... :) I had fun. Then the BBQ went into full swing... we talked a lot and told lots of lame jokes here and there... haha... then we had the dessert making competition, which was a bit disgusting, but was a fair showing of our creativity. Andrew and I were the respective crappers for our teams, and we crapped well, to say the least. But full credit to Andrew's team for their creativity. :P

After that, I actually had a chat with Joel, and what started as being weary with all the Victorians' Day planning, eventually resulted in a revelation to why I've been feeling so lost. It became an unhappiness for being unable to do enough for the students to make their lives better in school, to prevent their information overload. I also wondered if I wanted to really be part of MOE, because I didn't agree with some of the policies and programmes that they were implementing. And most of all, I started to wonder if I was even cut out to be a teacher to begin with in the first place. And Joel helped set me straight. Firstly, he said that I had to pace myself. And then, he told me that we cannot change policies, but we can make changes to people's lives as a teacher. It's not so much changing a whole generation perse? But it's making changes to every individual... Be it the student pool, or eventually, the teacher pool, it's about touching individuals.. and making a difference to one person. It's somewhat similar to the story about the starfish... about how this guy throws starfish back to the sea. Even though there's like a million starfish, the guy is only concerned with making as much of a difference as he can. And Joel showed me that, to me, I may have only said a couple of things, but to the person I said them to, I may have indirectly impacted their lives. And lastly.... that God placed me there for a reason... and I realised that I had lost the view of the big picture. I started out wanting to be a teacher who can make a difference and also let my students achieve good grades. When did I lose sight of that? I wonder... But when Joel spoke to me, I felt released... as I finally found the reasons why I felt so lost. But my heart really felt refreshed and joyous when Joel prayed for me... It was a good way to end the day...

Of course, when Man U won Charlton 2-0, it had become the icing on the top of the cake.

Today, during Post Encounter, I smsed Shuxin, because she said she felt emotional... and amazingly, God spoke to me. In my notes, the words "Seek Counsel" and "Do not be hasty to act" immediately jumped out at me when Shuxin told me she was torn in a decision, and I told her to take more time and not rush a decision... God spoke to me, and I was really amazed that God answered my doubts so quickly! Praise God!

In today's service, it spoke to me... I needed emotional healing, but I didn't go to the altar to kneel down. Because I knew that I had experienced it yesterday with Joel, but it did strike me to remember Suzanne, and I guess God is prompting me to pray for her tonight. And until then, I will work hard and constantly remember the big picture I've painted for myself.

To God be the Glory!

Dear Mandy,

Just decided to randomly throw thoughts in at the moment... Looking at how things are at the moment, I know that I have every reason to be contented... but for some funny reason, I feel kinda empty... Hmm...

I gotta be honest, I'm really happy that my lovely angels from 1D have grown to like Mdm Tan. I honestly think Mdm Tan is a good teacher and one who will ensure that the discipline of the class and their maths grades will be of a certain standard. But I cannot deny it. I miss teaching the class. :) Being on Russian Roulette now doesn't really serve much of a purpose to me, but today, teaching chinese was a step closer to what I wish I could do. But I know that this is still an experience, and one that will be beneficial to my development to become a teacher, so I'm not complaining. I still have yet to find a reason to complain about my job at the moment, and I'm honestly thankful to God for having given me such an opportunity.

The Victorians' Day planning is going smoothly, and I must say, I'm encouraged by certain members of the committee... they really give me strength, and I thank God every day for these dedicated and committed personnel. Oh wellll.. haha... we're Victorian what... explains a lot of things...

Been spending more and more time as quiet time nowadays... setting it as every morning before I go for morning assembly, before I start work. I'll take time to read a chapter from the Bible, then take down some notes, then pray about it. And the thing is, I find that God speaks to me from the Bible... sure, He speaks to me sometimes in solitude and in prayer, but I find that the Bible tells me things. Phrases and words just jump out at me from the passages, and I find myself feeling more and more in awe of God's wondrous presence...

Okay, off to write my Valentine's Day poem... :)

S Club 7 - Say Goodbye

This song is just to all the friends that I've said farewell to in the past... Though we're all on our separate ways at the moment, please note that you're still somewhere in my heart... Take care... :)

Dear Mandy,

"Passage Deuteronomy 8:3-5:
3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you."

Yesterday was the last day of the sanctification week's messages, and the above passage was by and far the most impactful. But then again, this was one of the services whereby I felt that I was once again humbled by God, and brought to come to the harsh reality of the fact that, hey, I may have been neglecting Him even though I think that I'm not.

The worship segment was really more strong than normal. We started off with "One Way" and "King of Majesty" for the fast paced songs. It was rather refreshing to see Ps Eugene dancing on stage and rallying us like we were being warmed up for a concert, which I came to realise later, that it was a preparation for an audience with God. The slow songs however, were stronger and exceptionally meaningful... we sang "How Great is our God" before we transited to "Run to You"... I've always thought that "How Great is our God" is a very powerful ministry piece of music, but I never expected to feel that awesome presence of our God when it was merged with "Run to You"... it seemed to speak to me... and there and then, I could sense that today's message is going to come across very strongly, and there and then, I prayed that God would keep my heart tender and receptive to whatever was going to be said.

The ovation that we gave after the worship and praise was resounding and never ending. It kinda resembled the Kallang Wave at the National Stadium last Wed... the sea that kept pushing forth... and then, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for each other the chorus of "Run to You". Victor Ong and I just prayed for each other and then, we began the message for the day.

Ps Eugene talked about his revelations after coming back from the International G12 conference in Colombia, and specifically, he spoke of supernatural formation and Word passion. He also mentioned National transformation, but he ran out of time before he could even touch on that.

For supernatural formation, Ps Eugene believed that our walk with God is almost always a supernatural journey. And what touched me was that, to Him, we are always Work in Progress. Even if we are like, 50 years old, God is still beginning to form in us a great altar to serve Him, and to be a great blessing to others. If I thought that so far it was impacful enough, imagine how the congregation felt when Ps Eugene started on not forgetting God. God's work, as Ps Eugene said, is to test us and know what is in our hearts. And as we grow spiritually in Him, or hearts form a new understanding of who He is, and our faith in Him would grow. Personally, that applies very much to me, as the more I grow in my spiritual journey, the more I believe in God. And as such, we should set our hearts to seek God, and hat was when Deuteronomy 8:3-5 was read to us, and this particular passage teaches us that men does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. This is a life long lesson... and one I'm glad I heard.

For word passion, it touched on how the hidden meanings of scripture in the Bible actually gives life. The Bible holds all the answers to all our hidden problems, and that was when Ps Eugene shared on personal devotional life. And that was when he told us about Ps Richard, who would always find food from scripture before he has his meals. He constantly searched and maintained his covenant with God. The wonders of Agape love! Haha... but then, imagine the silence of the entire TC when Ps Eugene said this: God is telling you "I miss you." It struck me... that when we move away from God, being preoccupied with the hassles of everyday life and work, when we finally come back to be reconciled with God, all God says is "I've been waiting for you. I miss you." Wow.

After that, Ps Eugene asked us to bring our Bibles and come forward to the altar to kneel before God and make a commitment to Him... I took a split second before I moved out of my pew. I was joined by Victor Sim and after a short while, Alicia. Haha... so we went forward, knelt down and started to make our promises to God. I prayed to Him, that where I'm not strong, I will find strength from the Word and in Him, and that I would start progressively to make more time for God, and finally make it a habit. Starting from reading the Bible and praying before lunch, and gradually increasing it until I do it for all three meals. I know that God will be there, and He is holding me to my promise to Him. I pray that these will not be empty promises, and I know I have to put in effort to make it happen. I know I can through Him.

After our personal commitments, Ps Eugene asked us to pray for those around us, so Victor, Alicia and I formed a threesome and started praying. Victor started off, and he prayed about us hungering for the Word, and not to forget God... Alicia took over, and she prayed that God will watch over us. I didn't know what I was going to pray about, so I just let my heart take over and I spewed words of prayer out easily, like as though I had been doing it for eons. I prayed and felt a strong emotion welling up inside of me. It was that of gratitude, and of fervour. It was one of promise and optimism for the future. I think God is telling me He believes I can do it... and I know that I want to.

I remembered saying this "Dear Father, let us not forget you in all that we do. May the rising sun each day remind us of your grace and your light. And when the sun sets each day and the night comes. May the twinkling stars remind us of Your Angels working tirelessly throughout the night. Help us to remember, and that we will turn to You in everything we do. To share our joys, our sadness with you." Even I was awed by what I was saying... amazing, isn't it?

After service, JB Tribe met and Ps Jimmy and Ps Belinda shared on their own experiences, and I found myself thankful for these 2 wonderful pastors. For they were honest in telling us their experiences, and they didn't hide anything. And then the sharing by Serene, Felicia and Lynette, before we closed in prayer... It was an impactful night, definitely...

Victorians' Day planning has been progressing smoothly, and as we transit into the execution stage, I start trying to be more optimistic and integrated in the planning. I have a good committee, but I'm starting to see the fact that a lot of reality checks are in store. Not just for myself, but also for my members. Both personally and situationally... well, I pray that we will pull off a successful Victorians' Day... I really do.

Dear Mandy,

It's been a while, and I'm coming to the end of my one month stint as the official co-form of my lovely angels in Sec 1D. It's been a great one month, and looking back, I think that I've done what I can as their co-form and as their maths teachers to bring them into secondary school life.

Perhaps my biggest worry is whether or not they really understand what I teach them during Maths... they may do pretty well for their assignments, but what about an exam, and I think that that is sometimes, cause for worry... I mean... to me, what I'm explaining is definitely ok... but what about to them? They're only Sec 1s! I keep reminding myself that... it's sometimes awfully difficult to explain basic theories to them, but I find myself realising that it's also pretty difficult to explain complex theories as well. Hahah... oh well, I'll just stay neutral and do my beset. Tmr is a QUIZ! Given that I've only JUST completed the first chapter, so yeah! I'm going to give them a quiz... I hope I'm still on schedule though... :S

Then again, I think that I've grown awfully attached to these little angels of mine. Is that a good thing? I'm unsure... because that thin line of teacher and friend is still quite ambiguous to me... I just pray often that God will show me the right way. My prayer often these days are that God will keep my students' minds open and receptive to what is being thought, and that through me, I can speak clearly and teach concepts that they can understand easily. So far, God's grace has been predominant in my classes, and saying prayer before I go to class does help calm myself down and speak clearer.

These days, it seems to me that a lot of people have been going through lots of personal problems, and my heart goes out to them... I'll keep all of you in my prayers... I honestly will... May God be with each and every one of you, and may you find peace in Him.

"Dear father,

Bless me with eyes of Grace.

That even though I must assess and evaluate,

that I may still see the special talents of

Each and Every child.

Teach me how to show my students the

Beauty of Your image in their souls"

From "Hugs for Teachers"

Jenifer López ft, Marc Athony - No me ames

I got this off Gayne's website... and I can only say to all the broken hearted people out there, sometimes, it's better to let things go than to remain as it was...

This is one of the sweetest songs that I've ever heard... Hope you like it as much as I do. :)

"I'll Be"

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath.

And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth.

Tell me that we belong together,

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

[Chorus:]I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed.

You're my survival, you're my living proof.

My love is alive -- not dead.

Tell me that we belong together.

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus]

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.

I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

[Chorus:]

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your...

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life....greatest fan of your life.

Dear Mandy,

Well, it's been the end of the 3rd week, and I think I've finally had my first bad impression of my colleagues in the school. It could be called that perhaps, I'm emotional, but I honestly felt that professionalism was lacking, and it does seem to me that some teachers don't place the students as their top priority... feels to me that in order to make things easier for themselves, they'd just do what seems right to them, and forget what it means to teach... that even a Sec 1 N(T) student's viewpoints mean a lot to him/ her.

I read in "Hugs for Teachers" this: "How, I wondered, could an event that was only a momentary pause in my eyes have been such a momentous occasion in John's eyes? I guess it's a matter of perspective." And I reflected on that, and I realised that that's very much true! Though I don't know how much of it is applicable to Secondary School students, but the Lord showed me that every effort to know someone, every motion to impact someone, makes a difference to that person's life... the only question is, are we willing enough to try, and are we willing enough to accept failure and rejection from that person and to keep stepping forward to aid him/ her? I'm still not sure, but I believe that with God's grace, I can.

I'd like to believe that I'm doing as good a job as I can as a teacher at the moment, but I also know that there's a lot of room for improvement. I'm keen to use the next week to hold back students who are not so strong in their maths to go on a more personal level with them. But I'm also wary of the other members in the class, so I'll have to be really sensitive in handling this.

While everything goes on, I'm quite glad that we've started on the life of Jesus during cell. When I read the book of John, I was constantly in awe of what He had done for us, and all that He had gone through. Now, when Joel told our cell to read the firs few chapters of the four gospels, what struck me was how similar they are, yet different in their own aspects. The part I felt motivated by the most? Was when Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and was tempted by Satan... One of my biggest flaws is always to not really ahve more own opinion unless I'm pushed to it... I just go with the flow, and keep too much to myself... I probably should start to voice out.

Alright, I should just get ready to go for duty... :)

Dear Mandy,

Heyz... this is my third week teaching at Bedok North Secondary School. And after words of encouragement from Joel and Gayne, I'm quite encouraged to do the best I can...

I got my Sec 1s first homework assignment back today, and it gave me a subtle warning that I need to be more clear when I give homework. I'll need to write down specifically which question and when and how to do them. So that was a lesson I learnt. Subsequently, I started marking their assignments, and I started wondering if it's my teaching or that they're just a bit lazy in their assignments... I'll have to try that out tomorrow... maybe be a little bit more strict.

Then again, I was greatly encouraged by Gayne when she told me that most of the time, my best is enough. As long as I try and genuinely put in effort in the things I do, God will surely see it, and He will aid me as much as I can. Of late, my prayer requests are that my students will have a clear mind and be able to absorb as much as possible, and that when I teach, I can be able to put across what I'm teaching in a clear and concise way.

And then Joel too, gave me encouragement... and he said this to me "I believe you can touch many lives", and I was pleasantly surprised... Because it reminded me that this afternoon, HOD Sci for BNSS saw me talking to Angela in the staff room, and she told me that HOD Discipline says that I would make a good teacher. But it did set me thinking, and I started to wonder what makes a good teacher. Is it someone who produces a string of students with excellent academic track records, or is it someone who inpacts and influences the lives of his students? And the Lord just showed me that teaching isn't easy, and that it takes heart and passion to remain a good one. Joel said that a teacher that merely teaches remains but merely a memory... a teacher that mentors, builds a long term relationship that lasts a life-time... and I decided that I want, and that I can be both. So, I'll work towards that.

The Lord prompted me today to sms Gayne the chorus from "Still", and amazingly, Gayne had been having a bad day, so when that sms came in, she felt a calm and a peace come over her, and she felt reassured. And then, later that night, she felt better... well, what can I say? The Lord works in ways that can only be termed as amazing. Gayne, dear, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I hope you're feeling better. I'm here if you need someone.

Onwards to Maths lessons tomorrow!! :)

Dear Mandy,

I met up with one of my closest and dearest friends today... Grace Salim Natalia. And today officially marks the start of my 2nd week of teaching at Bedok North Secondary School. Haha... let's go slow.

Being at Bedok North has given me a really harsh wake up call... I was assigned to relief a teacher on maternity leave, and sort of had to take her form class as well, and I got a really nice form class! Ok, so it's still too early to pinpoint how they're all like and what not? But I hope that everything will turn out good for these young 12 and 13 year olds. They seem to have a lot of potential, and they are eager to learn. But the harsh reality checks came in when I found out more about my little angels' family backgrounds, and my heart does go out to them.

More often than not, I find myself lethargic at the end of the day, and just struggling to find time to prepare for the lessons, which by the way, isn't that good, cause apart from my math lessons with 1D, I don't really find the mood to prepare for the other lessons. It's kinda sad, because i know I've got a lot of commitments that are slowly coming up, like, Victorians' Day, OVA SDD, as well as my church commitments... I pray for God to grant me strength and grace to get through all these commitments... I'm thankful that Gim Sen, Meng Siong, Sanjee and a few other people have gamely stepped forward to aid in the coordination and planning for Victorians' Day for VS and VJC. Now all that's lacking is me to get the ball rolling. I'll need to get started and soon.

That's all for my teaching stint so far... apart from reality checks that I have gotten and a lot of wake up calls, I'm just keen to take a step back, and become a more mellow person... I'm changing, and I can feel it... I just need to harness it.

Meeting with Gracie made me feel loads better... It was the first time since A level result release that I had seen Gracie in real life, and we met at VJC today. We strolled the entire campus, and the conversation had a very calm and soothing effect of its own, pretty much like every conversation that i have with Grace. We talked about old times, we caught up on each others' lives, and I found myself telling Grace things I have not told people before... and I know, and I believed that she'd keep it to herself for me, without even me saying anything. Grace met a lot of the 23rds, and she also met David, and we had a really good conversation. With Gracie, it's always been about pouring out our souls to each other... pretty much the same with Kristy K and a few other people... and I felt better...

I miss 20th. I really do.

Dear Mandy,

Happy New Year! 2007 has come, and it is a year of Victory... from the moment we step into it, until 2359hrs, 31st Dec 2007, it should be a victorious year, and one that I resolve to make the most of all the activities that I will be organising, be part of, or just attending.

I promised to blog about Christmas @ Orchard, so I shall. Christmas @ Orchard was memorable in its own way. From the start, when we left EXPO to go to PUB Building, the air was filled with a sort of eager anticipation, and despite the rain, it didn't get our spirits down. However, the long wait at the PUB Building did affect us in some way, but after dinner was had, everyone was ready and revving to go. God blessed us then with great weather as the rain subsided, and we all made our move to Youth Park to begin the caroling. We spent quite some time there, first having a brief and a speech by Ps Eugene. Really, he showed us what it means to lead by example when he left the safety of being sheltered ands tood with us in the rain. What a leader we have got... I found myself impressed by this act of selflessness. We started some crowd breakers not so long after, and in a short while, kickstarted with the carols. Armed with bells, chopsticks and what nots, we soon got into the mood... Clarence and my Da Jie, Wei Lin were awfully good with their ice breakers, and we were quite encouraged by small groups of people who would stop in the slight drizzle and sing along with us. On a personal note, I was really encouraged by some parents who joined us with the caroling,a nd endured throughn the rain and everything with us. Praise God for these little nuggets of motivation!

We shifted to Paragon at about 2200hrs, and we gave our chocolates along Paragon. After a short while, we ascended the stage where we would do the countdown to Christmas- It was here that Da Jie and her friend wanted to go to the restrooms, so I accompanied them. It was quite a ride... the trip to the Lucky plaza restroom was fraught with smokers, drinkers and drunkards... so we were quite apprehensive. The way back, however, was fraught with people spraying their soap and confetti thingys, and jie's friend got hit in the back. It was a brisk walk back to the stage after that, and what an experience...

The caroling began at around 2330hrs, a 30 minute, non stop caroling process which included songs like Hark the Herald Angels sing, Away in a Manger, Jingle Bells, and so on... I spent most of the time with Wei Lin and her friend, and also my cell, and we had fun... reallyu... despite singing until we lost our voices and found ourselves relatively dehydrated, we had lots of fun. The countdown went well, and I am awfully heartened by the people I had this amazing journey with.

The trip back for dismissal was precarious. People were going crazy with the spraying of the soap and confetti thingys, and the guys formed an outer wall to protect the ladies from the sprays... It was kinda bad... cause everywhere, people just kept spraying, and I only wondere what a mess would be left when everything was over. We reached PUB building safely, and then I walked Vanessa over to meet Ps Eugene, before returning to join Wai Chong, Esther and this P5 girl to send them back home. That completed my Christmas @ Orchard... Here are a couple of photos.
















Left: The 4 VJC 20th Councillors
Right: My cell group (minus Isaac)















Left: Me with Felicia
Right: Me with Wei Lin

The next big event happened to be the 7000 laps challenge at the swimming pool. I was appointed to be the Master of Ceremony with Serene, and well, the day started with me waking up late and having to rush to Toa Payoh swimming complex. The set up was pretty smooth, except for the sound systems, which took some time in setting up, but we eventually got it down.

The event kickstasrted with a speech by Ps Jimmy and then a speech by Ps Eugene, before I took over for warm ups. A lot of people came down... Winnie, Feng Yi, Shane, Sam Soh... in total, about 130 people turned up. Wow... haha... there were also a couple of challenges... the 4 X 100m free style, 4 X 50m breast stroke, and the 2 X 50m float challenge, the paper challenge as well as the 4 X 50m float and ball challenge... as long as the challenges included the paper of the float, I came in champion, so it shows that I can only win when it's something funny. :S

Along the way, I managed to get some time to jump into the pool for a swim, and towards the end, I just spent all my time in the pool. I managed to clock 46 laps... haha... quite happy already... We managed to hit 7000 laps at about 1530 hours, 1.5hrs off out predicted timing. And what was heartwarming was that the National Water Polo Team came to swim laps for us as well. Wow... haha...

I had a good talk with Shane, and I was also complimented for my MC skills, but I honestly felt that I could have done much better... I will keep on improving, because I know that I don't want to stay stagnant. Add on the never ending flow of bananas and mineral water, and I daresay that it was a successful event in its own way.


BREAKOUT 2007! FCBC Youthnet's Countdown Party was held on 31 Dec 2006 from 2100hrs onwards, and this was the day taht we would see all our hard work and effort put into rehearsals come to fruition. We had a rehearsal, or to me, more of a warm up to the stage, before we kicked full swing into the event itself. I enjoyed myself quite a fair bit, actually... getting to know Charmaine, Michelle, hanging out with Shairull and the guys, playing around with hair glitter, face glitter, and changing my hair colour to pink! Hahaha... I did enjoy doing "Joyful Joyful", but I especially loved "Shine Jesus Shine" with all the candles and all. The 11year old kkid who sang solo was good, but I had never heard the Expo more quiet when Vanesa sang her solo. It was a powerful moment, and one where I really felt God's presence washing over me.

We ended off with "Tell the One Way", and I was really touched when during the debrief, Sarah revealed that she had prepared a card for each and every one of us, and also some chocolates... As Rachel and I walked away, I realised that this had indeed been anb enriching experience... and I thank God for having brought me on this journey.

After that, 14 of the JB Tribe went off for supper at Simpang Bedok at this HK Cafe with Prata. Haha... we had a great time, if I say so myself, laughing, joking, and sharing on the Countdown and many other things. I think that I'm very lucky that God gave me such a wonderful Tribe to be in, and so many wonderful friends... as we went home, Rachel, Isaac, Victor Sim and I shared a cab home. That night, as I prayed to God, I thanked Him for 2006... for everything that he had done for me.

As 2007 nears, I am optimistic about it... For my new job at Bedok North Secondary School, for OVA events, specifically VJC Victorians' Day and the OVA Alumni dinner, which I am to be in charge of. And also, for the many Tribe events that will be coming up, as well as the many 20th meetings we will be having before long... I'm thankful for everything. and I will work hard for what will come.

Thank you everyone, for a memorable 2006... let's work towards 2007 together!