Dear Mandy,

Happy Grandparents' day!!

As the 3 days of tumultous events came to an end... One thing is for sure, God's grace and presence was with me throughout. And despite running and executing events and duties, God still made sure I was ministered to, and that there will be breakthrough in my life.


Ask me how I feel right now? I feel like the picture above. A moment of peace, serenity and tranquility, but on the verge of tears, because God is so good, and so awesome. Let me run you through the last few days.

The whole challenge would begin come Friday, but leading up to it was a series of small events and incidents that needed to be completed in order for the weekend to run smoothly. So in addition to attending cell group, I scheduled PT with one of my cell members, and English classes at NYP, I also found myself scheduling short meetings and settling much administration to get things going. Not to mention, I had to milk what I could to study for a maths exams on Saturday.. it wasn't a very fun week to say the least.

But then I think that it is apt that some readings this week was about how suffering draws us closer to Christ, and so I thank God for Thursday, where I was not only able to study for the exam in a great measure, I also met a close sister for an impromptu lunch, and PT with my cell member. All this, and Friday came around.

That's Ming Na (in blue), or who I call Na Na, teaching the youths for the very first event of our GESL Intergenerational Programme. Sulogna (to Ming Na's right) is assisting her, and Kaie See (Ming Na's left), observing the students. While this all seems to be nice, cozy and smooth, behind the scenes, the leaders were scrambling a bit. I was frantically trying to tie down a location for Sunday, while Wei Biao was trying to discuss the possibilities of having some of the youths go later for an event so we can hold the Sunday event at that particular time. Imagine the relief when God came through. The youths could go later, so we had the venue, and it would set the stage for the catering orders to go through, and the house visits.

The youths seemed excited and keen, and I thank God, because He sent the right people to us. And so, we went for lunch. Then, we embarked on our house visits. I really thank God for my GESL team, because they are so committed to the cause. Yee Ying went around despite her heel injury as best she could, and then my members actually went around beyond their own blocks. Two of them even went around to ask people along the streets! That is how committed we are. And I truly thank God for them. But it was exhausting, and so I went to East Coast to study, explaining the picture of the beach. And it was a good session. A chance to relax, and breathe.

Then cell. Danny and Evelyn came, and it was a very fun time for us all. But Danny's word was very impactful, and I believe that it spoke to each and every cell member.

And then, Saturday, the day of my maths exam and BB SG, came.
The paper was ok, manageable, and I trust that God will make a way and pass me.
And then I went to BB SG. It is quite a huge event, being honest, and when I see how SP work, I cannot help, but marvel at their efficiency and creativity in anchoring the project. I ended up being the transportation and auxillary person, but it allowed me to see the bigger picture and scheme of things. But driving around is tiring, and as there was much to do, so we reached service 10 minutes before it began. I parked, and seeing no seats, went upstairs to sit.

The message by PS Eugene was on Extreme Delight.. delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart.. and one part that really spoke to me, was when PS Eugene talked about rejoicing even in our sufferings... and I think I realised just how exhausted physically and mentally I was, and emotionally, I was struggling too, because of the exhaustion. So I decided to humble myself, and asked Irving, sitting beside me, to pray for me.
There was much breakthrough, and indeed, a very apt prayer. It allowed me the peace and confidence to be able to minister to Edwin thereafter, and I thank God for His provision. There was breakthrough for me when I humbled myself to ask Irvin to pray for me, because I think I tend to keep to myself too much sometimes. =) God ministered even in tiredness and busyness. =)

Went home, did some admin, slept, and then woke up early this morning for GESL. I felt God's presence even in QT, and so, headed out from home at 9am. Went to pick up Wei Zhong, and we had breakfast at Burger King. We then headed out for our second round of house visits thereafter, and this time, we had more people, so we split. Some of us went to the coffee shops and residents' corner to ask them to come, and well, the turn out wasn't exactly fantastic, but little did I know what God had in mind.


This is the terrarium the elderly and youth constructed. Ice breakers led by Ming Na and Yee Ying was brilliant! And the terrarium project was also quite good. Definitely there was intergenerational engagement, but also, without a doubt, I also agree that it could have been better. But to see the elderly being so engrossed in building their terrariums, occasionally supporting and suggesting to the youths what they could do. I think it was a very endearing sight! And the high-tea was fantastic as well. Really quite thankful...

Felicia came, and she shared about how she thinks our project meets a certain need and direction that they are thinking about, and she would love to use our project idea. I was quite encouraged. And that was when I knew that our project was definitely something that taught me that it is important to focus on the process; sometimes more than even the outcome.


This turnout despite having house visited 100 over units, would be deemed by many to be a failure. But each of my GESL mates learnt so much through the house visits, and it was a huge step out of comfort zone for us. Actually, Singaporeans have their polite and kind sides too. Sure, they are reserved, but they are kind. But it is difficult to do community projects- that's my 2nd learning point and reflection from this. Without establishing proper rapport and bonds, it would be difficult to engage the people. I was pleasantly touched with the feedback my group came up with though. I think we all have the same heartbeat after seeing the effects of our project.

Felicia's visit made it all the more special for me, because she really took time out of her crazy schedule to come. Really love this sister of mine. =)

Above all, when Felicia shared that today is grandparents' day, I was sitting at LJS having my dinner, and I almost just cried there and then. Because FAMILIES came, not just single elderly, and it was a symbolic celebration for grandparents, wasn't it? So God provided what seemed like a bad result, to become a time of celebration and appreciation.

God is good. So.. at the end of the day...

I saw the power of human emotion.
I saw the tenderness of human relations.
I wept gratefully at the awesomeness of God and His provision.
Amen. =)

Dear Mandy,


I just finished reading "The Wednesday Letters" by Jason F. Wright, and I cried uncontrollably at the end scene (not revealing what it is because it'd be a spoiler".

The technical facts? This is a book that is a surprisingly easy read, and draws you deeper and deeper into a plot. It's fraught with raw human emotion, and yet teaches so many lessons. The language is moderate, very few advanced vocabulary, but the simplicity of the book just lends itself so much more the the simplicity of human emotion. It is raw, it is real, and at the same time, it is a choice.

On to the synopsis.
The story spans the events that happen among the three children of Jack and Laurel Cooper after both died in the same night in each others' arms: one from a heart attack, the other from cancer. And with the packing up and the unfolding of events, they discover that their father wrote to their mother every Wednesday. Every Wednesday, he would write, recapping, recalling, reflecting, and in most letters, tenderly expressing how much Laurel means to him, and how much God works in him so that he can be a better man and a better husband. This shocked their children, for they never knew. Each child discovers the things that their father did for them, and how much each of them mean and are loved by him. There is much healing, much reconciliation, and much tears that come. But with the joy, a hidden secret is revealed. One that rocks the family, one that has them grasping in thin air for something that they never expected nor imagined.

And that's where the lessons come in. It's a book that exemplifies extreme forgiveness and extreme love and humilty- and an unabashed complete abandonment of reliance on God. It's powerful in its own way. You would understand what I mean when you pick up the book and read for yourself, but one thing is for sure. A Godly man will impart Godly values to his children and the people who he leads and interacts with.

I want to be such a person. I really do. Someone who understands that he is constantly learning and growing and being moulded, yet lovingly reflecting the Lord's countenance and grace to others, and inspiring others to do the same. A loving husband, and a loving father, and a loving friend to all. There's indeed so much that I have to learn in this... but I know this much: quoting Malcolm Cooper, the youngest son of the Cooper family:

"I will fail. But I pray you will never give up on me, though I will surely fail again.
More than anything, I pray I will always deserve you."

The Lord will never give up on me. And I pray, someday, I will be married to a woman that I will say the same words to- meaning every word I say.

And I love that the epilogue requires me to open an envelope and read a final letter. =)

Dear Mandy,

Sometimes I wonder if growing up is a good thing. =)

The older one gets, the more one thinks, the more responsibilities one has. It's quite a routine, vicious cycle. 'ere go all the talk about perspective, choices and attitude. But I think the truth is such... we are all entitled to who we decide we are. I can be laid-back, heck care and laze around like a snoop, or I can choose to be anxious, worried and mull over every choice I have to make and essentially missing out on the moment.

Wait. The moment? What moment?

The moment whereby you just throw things to the wind and give your best, knowing that things are in God's hands.

One of the best things I love about being a Christian, is knowing that God provides what He knows is best and sufficient for us. The age-old saying "100% man, 100% God"... and something I read once in Jerry Sittser's book "When God doesn't answer Prayer"... it goes along something like we pray and give our all to God, but we also trust that His plan is the best. We don't hold on tightly expecting God to give us what we ask for, but we ask humbly and trust completely in what the Lord will eventually do. =)

In some sense, it seems like the paradox behind the Lord's Prayer, doesn't it? When we ask the Lord that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, essentially, we ask for His will, not our desires and our wills to be done. =)

And so, as tired and weary as we may get sometimes? I feel that there's more to it than expected, because God knows best. =)

Dear Mandy,

Even as the semester in NIE comes to a close, I find that the recent weeks have truly been quite a revelatory if not apprehensive season. I guess in part to the recent sermons on eXtreme Discipleship, and also the questions that keep going through my mind in addition to the responsibilities that have been increasing, I find myself suddenly thrown a curveball.

"Where is God in all that I do?"

That kind of struck me a bit hard. Because as Tuesday's cell group went, I realised in discussion with a sister in Christ, that when the going gets tough, we run more towards God and the Holy Spirit. But on the contrary, we tend to want to solve the issues and the problems that we face BEFORE we come before God. Meaning... we only turn to God as the end point after everything is done, or when we're at our wits end. But, then again, God wants to be the center of everything that we do. Just in Quiet Time this morning, the Lord told me:

"I am the Alpha and the Omega.. and every other letter in between."

And through it, the Lord seemed to be telling me that I am not just the beginning and the end, but I am also there in every aspect and every part of the journey from your creation to your end. And that really struck me. I started wondering how much of God is in my life- does the Holy Spirit permeate every pore and every page of the book of my life? Chances are, the answer is no. And I really like the call by Danny to pray in tongues every day for 20 minute slots. Rather than setting aside one full hour to pray, which is good, but taking time off in the midst of all the activity to pray for 20 minutes is actually more challenging for me, because it means that I cannot really draw up a plan in my regular 1 hour blocks that I do. I force myself to put God in my on-the-spot plans, rather than just my daily routine plan.

Which brings me to the revelation that I had this morning... (It feels like a thesis!! So excited!!) Now, as what God has said, He is not just the Alpha and the Omega, but every other letter in between. So, in essence, this is a fluid paradigm that can be applied in many different areas. Let me give an example:
A church has a beginning (when it is founded), and an end (maybe apocalypse), and in between, there are many chapters. Perhaps the milestone marker of its growth, or when it expands from being a local church to one that sends missionaries. That is the common directional growth of the church, and God should be in every aspect of its growth.
And then, there are the individual members of the church. Each member too has their own beginning (their creation) and their end (death), and all the growing up that takes place in the development of one's life. This is their own individual journey.
Does it not show how awesome our God is? He loves each of us so dearly, that He cares about each development of individual lives, and also, about institutions, countries and the World. That is how much God loves us, and that is how detailed He is about our development and our lives.


Jesus loves me, us, you and the World, just the way I/we am/are.
That's... how amazing our God is. =)

^"13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
-Psalm 139:13-14

And then I came across this in Philip Yancey's "Grace Notes", which is the reading for today.
And that was the 2nd question God threw me today: "If I know that God loves me so much, then what should I do for Him?" And this reading answers it succinctly.

And so, I prayed. =)