Dear Mandy,
As I write in to you today... after sending Isaac off for his exchange at the airport, I found myself wanting to just get on any flight, and just head off. As long as I can get away from SG, as long as I can temporarily put aside the responsibilities and work that I have on my hand, and just... escape.
But I know that's not a long term solution.
And I know that's not the way to go. Somehow, I'll have to come back and face them. Somehow.. it'll just resonate.
So I start to think... Ever since the TDA Competition on 16th Jan 2011, I haven't been able to go for dance. First was CNY SCHC, and then I had to get my work done... and the increasing need to find time to just stone, and get a breather... which makes me wonder...
Isn't dance my breather? Well, yes. It definitely is.. but the need to make sure I'm on schedule seems to overpower it. I think I can do a lot more than I think I can. As long as I sleep less, and I milk every moment for what it's worth. And exhaust myself in the process.
And then it all led me back to wonder what's the purpose of life. Some may say it's to do the things you love, some may say is to follow your heart, some may say that it's making a mark for yourself, making a difference, changing the world.
I think... life is about making a big deal out of God in everything you do.
I love to dance, but I know that I love God more.
So, I have to guard my heart, and be prayerful. To be patient, to remember why I do the things I do. I do them to glorify God.
And that's all I need to know. =)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Dear Mandy,
As week 2 comes to a close, at the back of my mind, it looms the fact that I've got 12 more weeks till my thesis needs to be completed.
At the back of my mind are all the modules and the workload that will come sometime in week 8 to 10.
And somehow..
I'm calm. I realise the need for me-time (yes, Kristy... I finally do. =D), and time with God.
And to live a life for God.
But it's hard.
So I try.
But many a time, I know.. I'm holding on because God is good, and He is gracious.
As week 2 comes to a close, at the back of my mind, it looms the fact that I've got 12 more weeks till my thesis needs to be completed.
At the back of my mind are all the modules and the workload that will come sometime in week 8 to 10.
And somehow..
I'm calm. I realise the need for me-time (yes, Kristy... I finally do. =D), and time with God.
And to live a life for God.
But it's hard.
So I try.
But many a time, I know.. I'm holding on because God is good, and He is gracious.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Dear Mandy,
Well, today's the first day back to school... and I think that I should be more like Hobbes than Calvin. =)
It was a nice start to the school year with lunch with the NUS-FCBC peeps from the Arts Fac! Samuel, Yew Luck, Zhaoliang, JianYong, Eddie, Charles, Daryl, Deborah, Nessa, Jia Yee, Shu Yan, JuLi, LiNeng, Hee Jhee and the Engine peeps that came along.. it was completely and totally refreshing. I like that we'll be meeting more often. =)
Then I went for Financial Accounting, and... mm... I think it's a bit dry? But I'm resolved to put in my best.. though doubts and worries plague me as I wonder if I should drop Syntax to focus on my HT and my 2 U/Es, but I think I want to try it out first before anything else... If anything, it's also probably a call to be extra disciplined this semester, if I do take everything that is on my plate. =) I'm resolved to try.
So, if I'm going to maintain that optimism, then I'll have to be like Hobbes. To be content with an open, sunny field, rather than all the riches and the power of the world. =) Make the best out of what I can. =)
The Lord is with me. =)
Well, today's the first day back to school... and I think that I should be more like Hobbes than Calvin. =)
It was a nice start to the school year with lunch with the NUS-FCBC peeps from the Arts Fac! Samuel, Yew Luck, Zhaoliang, JianYong, Eddie, Charles, Daryl, Deborah, Nessa, Jia Yee, Shu Yan, JuLi, LiNeng, Hee Jhee and the Engine peeps that came along.. it was completely and totally refreshing. I like that we'll be meeting more often. =)
Then I went for Financial Accounting, and... mm... I think it's a bit dry? But I'm resolved to put in my best.. though doubts and worries plague me as I wonder if I should drop Syntax to focus on my HT and my 2 U/Es, but I think I want to try it out first before anything else... If anything, it's also probably a call to be extra disciplined this semester, if I do take everything that is on my plate. =) I'm resolved to try.
So, if I'm going to maintain that optimism, then I'll have to be like Hobbes. To be content with an open, sunny field, rather than all the riches and the power of the world. =) Make the best out of what I can. =)
The Lord is with me. =)
Friday, January 07, 2011
Dear Mandy...
So much has happened in the last couple of days... I feel really thankful that God got me through, and I realise now that when God tests your faith or puts you through obstacles, He's always gracious to provide a way out. And if you remain faithful, then it will really be a beautiful journey.
Over the last few days, as we embarked on the year of Empowerment, I started it sick. And it was quite horrible, actually, and as I looked at the activities that I had ahead of me, I really just felt like crawling under the covers, and just not even popping my head out anymore. But I decided to press on, persevere... and have faith that God will provide.
So amidst all the planning meetings and the dance practices and cell groups and leaders meeting... I found out even before the NUS retreat started that I couldn't graduate without the additional 2 Unrestricted Elective modules. Ok, so I was devastated... Because I was left with 2 options: drop a module, or take 4 modules this semester in addition to my Honours Thesis. I was really considering taking all four, when in the midst of hearing PS Eugene Seow talk to us, I was convicted.
PS Eugene came to speak to us at the NUS retreat. And it was a very casual conversation, but there were so many points that I picked up from it. I really liked what he said about the correlation between value, thought and action, that they should all be in the same direction and aligned. And he shared about how one person has multiple mentors, and about a fluid, dynamic system of cell movement, and finally... about the balancing paradigm of everything that we had.
I think it's a prevalent question that we as Christian leaders, tend to face. We're still young adults, without the full freedom that adults might have, but having a need to balance ministry, church commitments, studies, personal lives and personal commitments. It's a whole lot. And how do we do it. To cut the long story short, PS Eugene talked about bringing the areas close together so they overlap, so that you are merging them together as best you can.
And as he said that, God asked me "Are your modules that important that you are willing to sacrifice a semester, and money just for it?"
Ok, so I was convicted. And when I went over to NUS to do my bidding as I was a station master for a food hunt, I dropped Language, Gender and Text (this being that I had printed the readings and bought the textbooks), and started bidding for Korean 1 and this huge leap of faith in taking Financial Accounting... Once I did so... I decided to do what God's command has always been: 'Love one another'.
So I contacted Min, and asked her if she wanted my readings, and asked Melissa if she'd like to borrow my textbooks. And when I had to leave for the next task, I committed my bidding into God's hands. Went over to HomeTeam NS at Bukit Batok, and had fun at laserquest and catching up with people, especially Shu Yan!
After that I left for cell, and when I reached, I asked Vette if I could check my bidding. God blessed me with Korean 1, and my bid point was the minimum bid. Which means that if I had one point less, I wouldn't have been able to get it! I believe that God blesses us if we're faithful, and according to your faith, it shall be done. When I chose to focus and honour God, and let go of my EL module... I think that God saw the heart? And He was pleased.
Then at cell, Jim spoke about waiting upon the Lord.. to adopt the attitude of waiting by serving, or by waiting in anticipation. Not idle waiting, and we spent time reflecting, and God spoke to me. The Holy Spirit visited our cell at worship yesterday... and all of us were crying, praying, and I felt His presence so strongly. .
So today... I met Prof A to talk about my thesis. AND PRAISE GOD! Hahaa.. I was so apprehensive about it, but Prof A was so nice about it, and she guided me, that now I have a clearer focus on my thesis and my question.
And then went over to NUS Retreat, and there, we were talking about what we can do about community, and I'm so glad that we're going to be meeting more often, and to form and norm more.. I love my NUS friends.. and I'm glad we're going to be more of a family!
And of course, praise God that I got my financial accounting module!!
So despite the big mess... God came through. =)
So much has happened in the last couple of days... I feel really thankful that God got me through, and I realise now that when God tests your faith or puts you through obstacles, He's always gracious to provide a way out. And if you remain faithful, then it will really be a beautiful journey.
Over the last few days, as we embarked on the year of Empowerment, I started it sick. And it was quite horrible, actually, and as I looked at the activities that I had ahead of me, I really just felt like crawling under the covers, and just not even popping my head out anymore. But I decided to press on, persevere... and have faith that God will provide.
So amidst all the planning meetings and the dance practices and cell groups and leaders meeting... I found out even before the NUS retreat started that I couldn't graduate without the additional 2 Unrestricted Elective modules. Ok, so I was devastated... Because I was left with 2 options: drop a module, or take 4 modules this semester in addition to my Honours Thesis. I was really considering taking all four, when in the midst of hearing PS Eugene Seow talk to us, I was convicted.
PS Eugene came to speak to us at the NUS retreat. And it was a very casual conversation, but there were so many points that I picked up from it. I really liked what he said about the correlation between value, thought and action, that they should all be in the same direction and aligned. And he shared about how one person has multiple mentors, and about a fluid, dynamic system of cell movement, and finally... about the balancing paradigm of everything that we had.
I think it's a prevalent question that we as Christian leaders, tend to face. We're still young adults, without the full freedom that adults might have, but having a need to balance ministry, church commitments, studies, personal lives and personal commitments. It's a whole lot. And how do we do it. To cut the long story short, PS Eugene talked about bringing the areas close together so they overlap, so that you are merging them together as best you can.
And as he said that, God asked me "Are your modules that important that you are willing to sacrifice a semester, and money just for it?"
Ok, so I was convicted. And when I went over to NUS to do my bidding as I was a station master for a food hunt, I dropped Language, Gender and Text (this being that I had printed the readings and bought the textbooks), and started bidding for Korean 1 and this huge leap of faith in taking Financial Accounting... Once I did so... I decided to do what God's command has always been: 'Love one another'.
So I contacted Min, and asked her if she wanted my readings, and asked Melissa if she'd like to borrow my textbooks. And when I had to leave for the next task, I committed my bidding into God's hands. Went over to HomeTeam NS at Bukit Batok, and had fun at laserquest and catching up with people, especially Shu Yan!
After that I left for cell, and when I reached, I asked Vette if I could check my bidding. God blessed me with Korean 1, and my bid point was the minimum bid. Which means that if I had one point less, I wouldn't have been able to get it! I believe that God blesses us if we're faithful, and according to your faith, it shall be done. When I chose to focus and honour God, and let go of my EL module... I think that God saw the heart? And He was pleased.
Then at cell, Jim spoke about waiting upon the Lord.. to adopt the attitude of waiting by serving, or by waiting in anticipation. Not idle waiting, and we spent time reflecting, and God spoke to me. The Holy Spirit visited our cell at worship yesterday... and all of us were crying, praying, and I felt His presence so strongly. .
So today... I met Prof A to talk about my thesis. AND PRAISE GOD! Hahaa.. I was so apprehensive about it, but Prof A was so nice about it, and she guided me, that now I have a clearer focus on my thesis and my question.
And then went over to NUS Retreat, and there, we were talking about what we can do about community, and I'm so glad that we're going to be meeting more often, and to form and norm more.. I love my NUS friends.. and I'm glad we're going to be more of a family!
And of course, praise God that I got my financial accounting module!!
So despite the big mess... God came through. =)
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