Dear Mandy...


Well, looking at this picture, I think that the metaphor for it is quite obvious...

But as I finished off reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, I somehow saw it. In the closing few pages, she talked about a time when she went to this island by herself for 10 days, so that she could come to terms with the hurt, the pain and the negative thoughts that had been plaguing here. On one night, she did this: She meditated for 4 to 6 hours, and in that meditation process, she went through three phases of confrontating her mind: all the hurt, all the anger, all the shame, and through it all, she let them come, and then accepted them into her heart.

Yes. The heart. The heart, where she ends off with, and I quote:
"When all this was finished, I was empty. Nothing was fighting in my mind anymore. I looked into my heart, at my own goodness, and even after having taken in and tended to all those calamitous urchins of sorrow and anger and shame; my heart could easily have received and forgiven even more. Its love was infinite.
I knew then that this is how God loves us all and receives us all, and that there is no such thing in this universe as hell, except maybe in our own terrified minds. Because if even one broken and limited human being could experience even one such episode of absolute forgiveness and acceptance of her own self, then imagine- just imagine!- what God, in all His eternal compassion, can forgive and accept."

And I was like "Yes!" because I think it's so very true. The forgiveness, grace and compassion of our Lord is so great and mighty, that truth be told, many a time, we belittle God's forgiving grace because we wonder if we ourselves are even worthy of being forgiven. That being said, we need to balance it out well also with knowing that we shouldn't take for granted that forgiveness.

But then, what about the outward actions of the heart? I started reading Max Lucado's "Cure for the Common Life", and came to remember one simple truth: All of us are created uniquely and all of us have what Max calls a sweet spot: A gift, an area, a niche, where we were uniquely created to excel in.

And God prompted me to think... do I know the niches of the people under me? Am I helping them to grow and be better in all areas, specifically in their area of expertise? Or am I simply just doing what I think is best for them, and moving in what has been declared as common place? And that really got me thinking...

One thing is for certain. We all have dreams. And most of the time, our dreams are related to our strengths... and then the question comes. What are we, as brothers and sisters, doing to help our fellow brothers and sisters in achieving their dreams? Do we encourage them as best we can, without being unrealistic? Or would that be a question of faith?

They're very gray lines... but I know that God knows. =)

Dear Mandy..

So much has happened in the last few weeks... it's been a very tiring, but fulfilling time.

From helping Victoria out at her camp, Priya getting married, to ICT and the momentary freedom, to being an Uncle, to dance and the EL Christmas party, and to BB Share-a-gift today... so many events, and yet... fulfilling, all of them.

I had so much time to do personal reflection at the camp, that I may not have been doing much, but I spent time with God... digging for the treasure chest that we forgot where we had hid it was another experience in itself. But truly truly, things like these really bond people, and though I wasn't part of their community, but it really led the 5 of us there to bond. It was a nice camp all in all.


Priya got married. 'Nuff said. Here's a picture of our lovely Councillor! =)

ICT was a mixed furore of feelings.. Sis gave birth while I was in ICT, and the rushing around from event to event, the various planning meetings and putting in place the proper procedures and chain of command... it was more of a housekeeping ICT than anything else. BUt I passed my IPPT, and bonded with my men.. so it was quite an experience in itself. =)


Dance was... great! And the EL Christmas party after that was even better. We had so much fun, and stay tuned for "EL's next top model", screening at graduation... the gift exchange, the charades... everything was so fun. =)

And today's BB SGB.. There were many things that happened, frustrations, conflicting instructions, but all in all, seeing the resilience of the Primers, the way they refused to compromise on their quest for excellence, and how they persevered on.. it was a very endearing sight to me.

I guess as Christmas draws nearer, there's much to see and experience. =)

Dear Mandy,

It's December... the year has flown by. Wow.

It's been quite a crazy year, being completely honest. From returning from Canada, to the whole covenant, to starting to serve in so many areas and picking up ballroom dance... it's... a very interesting year.

Would I have done things differently? Definitely for certain things.
Would I have changed anything? That's a hard question to answer.

In every season, there'll always be ups and downs, and as I endeavour to discover who I really am, and to stay true to what I believe in, I also see and realise that there's really much to do, reflect and contemplate about. Increasingly, I think that it's important to do what defines you. It's an amazing thing when you finally see where you need to be, and what really makes you feel like you belong... and in the process, you see who really are your true friends.

It's at times like these, that I wonder if being a linguist is a double edged sword. Trained to read indirect speech acts, and being a sensitive, sentimental being myself, I started to see beyond the locutions of people, and from there, start to realise that there're always so much illocutions behind it. Searle was quite amazing when he created speech act theory... Indirect speech acts cannot always be taken as it's primary form, just like human beings' actions do not always reflect their true nature of self.

I'm probably getting a bit disillusioned myself what with what's going on... but I guess that when I do finally find the courage to effect what I truly believe in, then it'd be a new ball game, but one that I'm hoping would really make changes. Don't get me wrong... I'm not going for a 180 degree change, but it's more of starting to let go when it's needed, and knowing when to be what. And that is something that sadly, I thought would never happen. But as it is with society, and with people, one cannot always be the same in all situations. As it says in Ecclesiastes: there is a time and a season for everything.

Well, what comes out of it, no one really knows. =)