Dear Mandy..

Life's a really funny thing at times... there are times when you feel like it can't get any worse than this, and you're at the pit bottom of this really huge hole... and there're times when the sky suddenly seems within reach, and you're soaring above the eagles.

Today... I spent time mugging in school... and I realised.. that God is gracious. I've heard stories of how the friendships in Uni are formal or superficial, but today, the Lord reminded me of the essence of friends.. I kinda remember this proverb that stood out for me when I read a chapter of "Clearwater Crossing" series... here it is..

"A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
- Proverbs 18:24

And how did the Lord show me of friends? He showed me friends that I only made when I came to NUS, and how close we've grown to become. Friends like Pearlyn, who I've really grown to cherish as a close friend that we share lots of experiences together, like Jasmine, where we can talk about God and share about our testimonies of God's grace and love. Like Isaac, who's a complete joker, but someone I am at ease with. Like Dennis, my crazy EL partner who though has a wacky sense of humour, is someone I can argue about EL with. Like Jaslyn, who despite only having taken one module together, tries to find time to have lunch with me and pray for me. Like LiXin, my mdm, who tries to make time to meet me. And the list can go on and on at times.

Why am I sharing this, because God has showed me that forging friendships that go beyond the superficiality of academics is entirely up to us. And with God's grace, it can go a long way. I can safely say for sure that I'll maintain the friendship I share with Pearlyn, Jasmine, Isaac and Dennis for as long as I can. I can safely say that I'll meet up with Jaslyn once in a while, and also with LiXin, Cindy, Siyun, Shi Hui and Yan Ying among others... and I really really feel, that this is all God's grace unto me.

All along my life, I've been blessed with wonderful friends. From young, people like Michelle, Amy, and most importantly, Abby. To secondary school where I had Bryan, Joel, the prefects, the NCC (Air) guys, and my tuition friends. I remember getting close to Jessie again, and making close new ones like Jennifer, Jasmine mei, and well.. a whole load of other meis.

VJC was perhaps the most happy and the most arduous moments of my life. But God blessed me with the 20th Students' Council, with people like Kristy K, Joel Lee, Hui Zhi, Hui Yi, Sanjay, Samuel, Siva, Edrei, Deepak, Gracie.. and a whole lot more. Not forgetting my class, 03S13, and the odd people like Anhua, SueAnn, Theodora, Chiew Mei, Tryphena, and sweet juniors like Kandy, MIn Xuan, Jing Yi, Santosh, Hazel, Jaclyn, Shi Ying and Audrey. Many fond memories were made here, and many challenges faced that I eventually overcame.

Then came the army... arduous days. But from BMT, Kenneth, Shane and Wei Cheng, who I still meet up with once in a while, are great. OCS.. not many memories there... but I loved my SOCE and 30 SCE days.. Zhiyuan, Samuel, Ervin, Gabriel... these people are wonderfully fantastic people that I don't mind spending time with, and even loved spending time with. All the late nights at the mess, or chit chat sessions.. gosh... wonderful.

And now, in NUS... time really flies... but the Lord has been gracious. I also have to add in my beloved JB TRIBE! haha.. This is one family I really cherish and love... =) For reasons that I just can't put into words... People like my cell, Felicia, Yvette, Audrey, Michelle, Xiaoyun, Cheryl, the Step Up crew, Wei Lin, Joshua, Clarence, Pastors and so much more... It's really really amazing how God brings people into my life.

Most of all, there's always God. =) For without Him, all these would not have been possible.

I'm starting to see more reasons why our God is so great... =) And I hope that I never lose sight of that. =)

Dear Mandy,

I came across perhaps one of the most touching songs that I've ever heard in my whole 22 years on this planet...

No surprises it's sung by Martina McBride. =)

Here are the lyrics...

God's Will

I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves
It hid the braces on his legs at first

His smile was as bright as the August sun
When he looked at me
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost
Made me hurt

Will don't walk too good
Will don't talk too good
He won't do the things that the other kids do,
In our neighborhood

(Chorus:)
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was until
I knew God's Will

Will's mom had to work two jobs
We'd watch him when she had to work late
And we'd all laugh like I hadn't laughed
Since I don't know when

Hey Jude was his favorite song
At dinner he'd ask to pray
And then he'd pray for everybody in the world but him

(Chorus)

Before they moved to California
His mother said, they didn't think he'd live
And she said each day that I have him, well it's just
another gift
And I never got to tell her, that the boy
Showed me the truth
In crayon red, on notebook paper, he'd written
Me and God love you

I've been searchin', prayin', wounded, jaded
I guess I would be still
Yeah that was until...
I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves

I really feel like crying when I hear this song, because it speaks so simply, and so innocently of how a kid diagnosed with cerebral Palsy can comprehend such a simple thing that God loves him... and God loves us. The video is on my sidebar, by the way... =)

How great is our God? Very... and I believe that this song, like some of the other songs that remind me of God's grace, will remain with me for quite some time...

Because of the simplicity of God's love.
Because in every difficult situation, God's love shines.
Because in all honesty, God is faithful.
Because... God sent His son to die for us on the cross.

And at the end of the day.. all I can say is... wow... =)

Dear Mandy..

Well, time really flies.. it's week 5 of the 1st Semester of my 2nd year as an NUS FASS student, and this semester feels the fastest of all the semesters thus far! And I have absolutely no idea why...! I wonder if it's because of the fact that this semester, I managed to have a 3 day week, but then again, last semester I also had a 3 day week!!! So why the change in feeling...?!?! I have no idea..

On a separate note, Project CLASS for my group officially ended, and I feel rather liberated. My group's toilet painting went relatively well, though the end product still requires touching up, but I'm already rather thankful that we managed to finish the project. Pictures are here!!

This is how the doors of the toilet look like...

This is found above the urinals...

This is where the sinks are.. I painted the rainbow!!!

Whenever I looked at the toilet, I felt quite a sense of achievement... given that this was completed with a group of about 6, and with some help from their friends, and they're only Secondary School students, I think that it's a good and positive result. Though there are many more things that are desired out of it... haha... =) Had my final debrief with them last Monday... =)

Encounter camp was next from 5th to 7th September, and it was a really wonderful experience there... God's grace and fervour was obvious throughout the whole encounter, and there were many a time where I myself was quite surprised at the things I could do. There was no explanation except that it was all due to God's grace, and His glory! From the start to the end... it was all, very simply put, surreal.

Back to school... and rushing assignments and tutorials and project research.. been in school since 9.30am till now.. going home at about 8pm only... I must get more work done if I want to be able to rest and to make time for more things to happen... oh well... =) Onwards!!!

Dear Mandy,

So many things are happening all at the same time that there are times when I find it rather hard to breathe.

What is freedom? This question just popped into my mind... a lot of people think that freedom is being able to do what you want, and to be who you want to be. But then, a lot of ambiguity pops in. Freedom is essentially a social construct. Many a time, when people say that they have the freedom, they overlook that one thing.

As for myself... I'm trying to come to terms with some stuff, and it'll take sometime, probably. Perhaps this is another example of dying to myself even as I attempt to set new boundaries, and have a newer mindset. Life really isn't all it's spruced up to be. And though we all want to be ourselves, I guess the truth underlying it all is that, what extent are we allowed to be ourselves? When what we are supposed to be are determined already by social situations?

Well... it's definitely a Philosophical question at the back of my mind even as I'm looking at the situation at hand, and attempting to reset and fine tune certain boundaries.

Once this week is over, I guess I'll take a major major back seat in certain things, and try to sort this question out amidst all the studying and assignments and tests that are coming up one at a time. I'll keep trying.