Dear Mandy..

And with Proposal Daisakusen's ending...

the tears that I'd never seemed to be able to let flow down my eyes... finally fell... and I cried badly...

I guess that I'm like Iwase Ken, or Yoshida Rei in some sense... but I doubt that the same thing will ever happen to me in the future. For many reasons that I think I shouldn't say.

Proposal Daisakusen is officially one of my most favourite tv shows. =)

Dear Mandy,

Proposal Daisakusen

I was watching this Japanese Serial entitled Proposal Diasakusen, starring Tomohisa Yamashita and Masami Nagasawa, and it's a really touching serial. The serial is about Iwase Ken (Tomohisa) who's witnessing the wedding of his childhood friend, Rei (Masami). However, he's always loved her, but he never confessed to her. So on her wedding day, he finds himself being extremely wistful, and wishing that he could turn back time to change what happened. A fairy living in the church that Rei's getting married, gives him the opportunity to change that. During the photo show of Rei's past, almost every picture that was taken with Ken and their clique showed Rei having an unhappy face. The fairy sends Ken back to a few hours before the picture was taken to salvage things, and also to give him a chance to profess his love for Rei. I'm at episode 4 now, and each turn, the things don't always go as planned, but he somehow manages to make Rei smile eventually, and make things work out, with the end product Rei's smiling face on what was supposedly a frowning picture, and an increase of Ken's importance in Rei's heart.

What this show taught me... is that very often, we don't realise that we're doing things that either hurt others, or that we've been misunderstanding people. Ken has a 2nd chance to make things right.. but what the fairy said in the closing minutes of Episode 4.. that a person's heart takes things that go beyond the limit to make a difference to it's feelings. And it made me extremely wistful.

At this point in time, or rather, after watching Episode 4, i felt extremely wistful. I wish that I had a close friend, someone that I could tell anything about everything, and knowing that I won't be misunderstood, or that I'd have to explain about stuff. And well, there's a lot of things that I think I'd have changed.. one of which would be making time to meet up with really close friends that might have become like how Rei is to Ken... knowing everything about each other... but minus the lack of understanding of Rei that Ken has...

There was a special someone that I though could have been that person... but after a certain journey.. it seems like our friendship isn't even... a friendship anymore. It's perhaps this that's the most hurtful of all that has happened thus far, but I didn't realise it until now... I really miss the times we had, the conversations we shared, and the unspoken understanding that existed... in short, I miss you as that extremely close friend that I share everything with.

The Lord has been faithful, and has provided for me more than once, and been my best friend of late... but there are times when I wish that there was a soulmate amongst one of my friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to all my friends, and to my closest of all, like Jacob, Zhiyuan, Cheryl, Priscilla, Deborah, and so on.. but more to an extent that I wish that... it was like that of how Ken is to Rei.

I don't know how to describe it, but if you watch the show... you'll understand what I mean... =)

Emotional person signing off. =)

Dear Mandy...

The picture that we took before we went for our first ever Open Water dive in Tioman

I just returned from my diving certification course in Tioman, and the experience is completely and utterly fantastic. There's completely nothing else like it, being perfectly honest, and when I went for the trip, I prayed to the Lord, asking Him to fill me with amazing awe and wonder at His creation: nature. Something that no man made object can exemplify, though we often admire the majestic and sturdy view of the skyscrapers which are man made contraptions.. to me, nothing beats the feel of nature, the peacefulnees and tranquility of relatively untouched habitats, and just revelling in the glory of God's wondrous creation.

Of course, the journey wasn't all that smooth sailing to begin with. The choppy waters in the middle of the night saw our boat ride resemble that of a mini roller coaster... we would rise up really high, come back down really low... and the whole trip just really made sleeping difficult as well. One of us, Hui Lin, being prone to motion sickness, ended up vomitting the whole of the 3.5 hour ride from Mersing jetty to Tioman island.. and yes, we reached Tioman at about 3am plus, where we got our rooms (which are quite nice actually) and just prompty concussed after changing out of our attire, brushing our teeth.

(From L to R) Meng Siong, ShuYu, Kathrine, myself - just before we descended to the sea bottom

Meng Siong and myself in the water posing during a skills session underwater

The first day saw us going out for our open water dive, which basically was 2 dives, swimming out to House Reef for a test on our basic skills, and even to have a glimpse of what Tioman promises... of course, at House Reef, it was really just the barest minimum.. and already, we saw Sea Urchins, Sea Cucumbers, Stone Fishes, and a lot more... really, it was already a breathtaking sight to behold.. God's amazing wonders.. and it really left me in awe of what God can really do. The underwater world.. =)

The Stone Fish

We had to study for our test at 6.30pm after that, and we spent close to 3 hours plus just studying. The heat of the day as well as the comfort of the location lulled me to sleep for 15 minutes.. but the test came soon enough, and well.. we all passed.. *yay* and the food there is really quite good actually. =) But of course, they had a BBQ buffet dinner, which ended in a heavy shower and a blackout that lasted from the night, 8.30pm all the way until the time we left, it hadn't been resolved yet.

We are Pro Muggers!!!

Well, we spent close to 1 hr just sitting outside on the verandah, feeding mosquitoes, listening to songs from our handphones, and talking, I started getting very reflective actually, and I think it was kinda obvious. Hahah.. the night didn't go very well, cause we slept with the windows open, and the mosquitoes had a field day coming in to feed. *Rolls eyes*

This was just before we descended on our first ever leisure dive!

THe next morning, we went for our leisure dive!!! YAY!!! Oh gosh, we did the "Giant Stride" entry into the water, and we saw so many things!!!! Corals, more sea urchins, beautiful colourful fishes, some eels, a big pomfret lookalike, Clown fish.... really wonderful things. THe best part of the dive for me, was feeding the fishes undewater with bread. THere were two awfully cute black and blue fishes that came to eat the bread off my hand... and they nibbled my fingers. Hhaha.. very ticklish sensation, but still adorable. =)

Lionel feeding fish with bread

Really beautiful corals

Fishes!! of unknown species

Sea urchins
A school of fish!!

At the end of the dive, a picture underwater!

The dive trip ended with the 2nd leisure dive... and we headed back to SIngapore. The company that I had with this trip, Simply Scuba, were really great instructors, and the friends that i went and got certified with... Shu Yu, Kathrine, Hui Lin, Zhiyuan and Meng Siong were relatively good company. Just glad abt it.

(From L to R) Kathrine, ShuYu, Yanto (DM), Meng Siong, Lionel (Instructor), ZhiYuan, HuiLin, myself

Really needed God's strength this period of time, and true to His promises, what I prayed for came true. I'll just revel in the wonders of God's creation, and plan my next trip! =)

Dear Mandy,

I guess that there comes a time when you realise that you've lost a part of yourself... the direction that you've always adopted, and of course, that startling realisation that you've kinda lost sight of a lot of things in your life.

Jacob pointed out to me the day before that I seem to be rather unhappy with stuff... that... well... there's a part of me that seems to have died away. He did catch some vibes from me... the truth being that I am still pretty much the happy-go-lucky person that I am, and still jovial and everything, but beneath all that, there's a underlying sense of unhappiness that seems to sap the genuine joy that I used to portray every now and then.

Perhaps I do know what's causing this unhappiness, and I just can't seem to muster up the courage to face it, or to even reflect about it, and spend time with God regarding it. But as what Kristy and Jacob say.. I can't keep hiding away from it forever. I guess I'm going to have to face up to it soon, and I somehow can sense the Lord beckoning me to come unto Him...

I've been keeping myself extremely busy of late... in some sense, not wanting to face up to what has come. But the Lord showed me that it won't work that way, using the Step Up programme and 2 consecutive weeks of mistakes to show me that even if my heart is there... if I'm using it to avoid from a problem.. then it still affects my performance. Many a time, it's the grace of God that leads me through it all.. but I know that I can't take it for granted, though I keep falling short of the mark.

Been busy with Project CLASS, STEP UP Programme and MAGICBOX merchandise sales.. so if anyone's interested in selling merchandise at Esplanade, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! =)I've got a few pictures to show...

My Project CLASS Group - RAINBOW

I love the sandcastles!!!

Nice huh? Hahaha.. i really like them! =)