Dear Mandy,

It's been a while, and I'm coming to the end of my one month stint as the official co-form of my lovely angels in Sec 1D. It's been a great one month, and looking back, I think that I've done what I can as their co-form and as their maths teachers to bring them into secondary school life.

Perhaps my biggest worry is whether or not they really understand what I teach them during Maths... they may do pretty well for their assignments, but what about an exam, and I think that that is sometimes, cause for worry... I mean... to me, what I'm explaining is definitely ok... but what about to them? They're only Sec 1s! I keep reminding myself that... it's sometimes awfully difficult to explain basic theories to them, but I find myself realising that it's also pretty difficult to explain complex theories as well. Hahah... oh well, I'll just stay neutral and do my beset. Tmr is a QUIZ! Given that I've only JUST completed the first chapter, so yeah! I'm going to give them a quiz... I hope I'm still on schedule though... :S

Then again, I think that I've grown awfully attached to these little angels of mine. Is that a good thing? I'm unsure... because that thin line of teacher and friend is still quite ambiguous to me... I just pray often that God will show me the right way. My prayer often these days are that God will keep my students' minds open and receptive to what is being thought, and that through me, I can speak clearly and teach concepts that they can understand easily. So far, God's grace has been predominant in my classes, and saying prayer before I go to class does help calm myself down and speak clearer.

These days, it seems to me that a lot of people have been going through lots of personal problems, and my heart goes out to them... I'll keep all of you in my prayers... I honestly will... May God be with each and every one of you, and may you find peace in Him.

"Dear father,

Bless me with eyes of Grace.

That even though I must assess and evaluate,

that I may still see the special talents of

Each and Every child.

Teach me how to show my students the

Beauty of Your image in their souls"

From "Hugs for Teachers"

Jenifer López ft, Marc Athony - No me ames

I got this off Gayne's website... and I can only say to all the broken hearted people out there, sometimes, it's better to let things go than to remain as it was...

This is one of the sweetest songs that I've ever heard... Hope you like it as much as I do. :)

"I'll Be"

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath.

And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth.

Tell me that we belong together,

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

[Chorus:]I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed.

You're my survival, you're my living proof.

My love is alive -- not dead.

Tell me that we belong together.

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

[Chorus]

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.

I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

[Chorus:]

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your...

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life....greatest fan of your life.

Dear Mandy,

Well, it's been the end of the 3rd week, and I think I've finally had my first bad impression of my colleagues in the school. It could be called that perhaps, I'm emotional, but I honestly felt that professionalism was lacking, and it does seem to me that some teachers don't place the students as their top priority... feels to me that in order to make things easier for themselves, they'd just do what seems right to them, and forget what it means to teach... that even a Sec 1 N(T) student's viewpoints mean a lot to him/ her.

I read in "Hugs for Teachers" this: "How, I wondered, could an event that was only a momentary pause in my eyes have been such a momentous occasion in John's eyes? I guess it's a matter of perspective." And I reflected on that, and I realised that that's very much true! Though I don't know how much of it is applicable to Secondary School students, but the Lord showed me that every effort to know someone, every motion to impact someone, makes a difference to that person's life... the only question is, are we willing enough to try, and are we willing enough to accept failure and rejection from that person and to keep stepping forward to aid him/ her? I'm still not sure, but I believe that with God's grace, I can.

I'd like to believe that I'm doing as good a job as I can as a teacher at the moment, but I also know that there's a lot of room for improvement. I'm keen to use the next week to hold back students who are not so strong in their maths to go on a more personal level with them. But I'm also wary of the other members in the class, so I'll have to be really sensitive in handling this.

While everything goes on, I'm quite glad that we've started on the life of Jesus during cell. When I read the book of John, I was constantly in awe of what He had done for us, and all that He had gone through. Now, when Joel told our cell to read the firs few chapters of the four gospels, what struck me was how similar they are, yet different in their own aspects. The part I felt motivated by the most? Was when Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and was tempted by Satan... One of my biggest flaws is always to not really ahve more own opinion unless I'm pushed to it... I just go with the flow, and keep too much to myself... I probably should start to voice out.

Alright, I should just get ready to go for duty... :)

Dear Mandy,

Heyz... this is my third week teaching at Bedok North Secondary School. And after words of encouragement from Joel and Gayne, I'm quite encouraged to do the best I can...

I got my Sec 1s first homework assignment back today, and it gave me a subtle warning that I need to be more clear when I give homework. I'll need to write down specifically which question and when and how to do them. So that was a lesson I learnt. Subsequently, I started marking their assignments, and I started wondering if it's my teaching or that they're just a bit lazy in their assignments... I'll have to try that out tomorrow... maybe be a little bit more strict.

Then again, I was greatly encouraged by Gayne when she told me that most of the time, my best is enough. As long as I try and genuinely put in effort in the things I do, God will surely see it, and He will aid me as much as I can. Of late, my prayer requests are that my students will have a clear mind and be able to absorb as much as possible, and that when I teach, I can be able to put across what I'm teaching in a clear and concise way.

And then Joel too, gave me encouragement... and he said this to me "I believe you can touch many lives", and I was pleasantly surprised... Because it reminded me that this afternoon, HOD Sci for BNSS saw me talking to Angela in the staff room, and she told me that HOD Discipline says that I would make a good teacher. But it did set me thinking, and I started to wonder what makes a good teacher. Is it someone who produces a string of students with excellent academic track records, or is it someone who inpacts and influences the lives of his students? And the Lord just showed me that teaching isn't easy, and that it takes heart and passion to remain a good one. Joel said that a teacher that merely teaches remains but merely a memory... a teacher that mentors, builds a long term relationship that lasts a life-time... and I decided that I want, and that I can be both. So, I'll work towards that.

The Lord prompted me today to sms Gayne the chorus from "Still", and amazingly, Gayne had been having a bad day, so when that sms came in, she felt a calm and a peace come over her, and she felt reassured. And then, later that night, she felt better... well, what can I say? The Lord works in ways that can only be termed as amazing. Gayne, dear, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I hope you're feeling better. I'm here if you need someone.

Onwards to Maths lessons tomorrow!! :)

Dear Mandy,

I met up with one of my closest and dearest friends today... Grace Salim Natalia. And today officially marks the start of my 2nd week of teaching at Bedok North Secondary School. Haha... let's go slow.

Being at Bedok North has given me a really harsh wake up call... I was assigned to relief a teacher on maternity leave, and sort of had to take her form class as well, and I got a really nice form class! Ok, so it's still too early to pinpoint how they're all like and what not? But I hope that everything will turn out good for these young 12 and 13 year olds. They seem to have a lot of potential, and they are eager to learn. But the harsh reality checks came in when I found out more about my little angels' family backgrounds, and my heart does go out to them.

More often than not, I find myself lethargic at the end of the day, and just struggling to find time to prepare for the lessons, which by the way, isn't that good, cause apart from my math lessons with 1D, I don't really find the mood to prepare for the other lessons. It's kinda sad, because i know I've got a lot of commitments that are slowly coming up, like, Victorians' Day, OVA SDD, as well as my church commitments... I pray for God to grant me strength and grace to get through all these commitments... I'm thankful that Gim Sen, Meng Siong, Sanjee and a few other people have gamely stepped forward to aid in the coordination and planning for Victorians' Day for VS and VJC. Now all that's lacking is me to get the ball rolling. I'll need to get started and soon.

That's all for my teaching stint so far... apart from reality checks that I have gotten and a lot of wake up calls, I'm just keen to take a step back, and become a more mellow person... I'm changing, and I can feel it... I just need to harness it.

Meeting with Gracie made me feel loads better... It was the first time since A level result release that I had seen Gracie in real life, and we met at VJC today. We strolled the entire campus, and the conversation had a very calm and soothing effect of its own, pretty much like every conversation that i have with Grace. We talked about old times, we caught up on each others' lives, and I found myself telling Grace things I have not told people before... and I know, and I believed that she'd keep it to herself for me, without even me saying anything. Grace met a lot of the 23rds, and she also met David, and we had a really good conversation. With Gracie, it's always been about pouring out our souls to each other... pretty much the same with Kristy K and a few other people... and I felt better...

I miss 20th. I really do.

Dear Mandy,

Happy New Year! 2007 has come, and it is a year of Victory... from the moment we step into it, until 2359hrs, 31st Dec 2007, it should be a victorious year, and one that I resolve to make the most of all the activities that I will be organising, be part of, or just attending.

I promised to blog about Christmas @ Orchard, so I shall. Christmas @ Orchard was memorable in its own way. From the start, when we left EXPO to go to PUB Building, the air was filled with a sort of eager anticipation, and despite the rain, it didn't get our spirits down. However, the long wait at the PUB Building did affect us in some way, but after dinner was had, everyone was ready and revving to go. God blessed us then with great weather as the rain subsided, and we all made our move to Youth Park to begin the caroling. We spent quite some time there, first having a brief and a speech by Ps Eugene. Really, he showed us what it means to lead by example when he left the safety of being sheltered ands tood with us in the rain. What a leader we have got... I found myself impressed by this act of selflessness. We started some crowd breakers not so long after, and in a short while, kickstarted with the carols. Armed with bells, chopsticks and what nots, we soon got into the mood... Clarence and my Da Jie, Wei Lin were awfully good with their ice breakers, and we were quite encouraged by small groups of people who would stop in the slight drizzle and sing along with us. On a personal note, I was really encouraged by some parents who joined us with the caroling,a nd endured throughn the rain and everything with us. Praise God for these little nuggets of motivation!

We shifted to Paragon at about 2200hrs, and we gave our chocolates along Paragon. After a short while, we ascended the stage where we would do the countdown to Christmas- It was here that Da Jie and her friend wanted to go to the restrooms, so I accompanied them. It was quite a ride... the trip to the Lucky plaza restroom was fraught with smokers, drinkers and drunkards... so we were quite apprehensive. The way back, however, was fraught with people spraying their soap and confetti thingys, and jie's friend got hit in the back. It was a brisk walk back to the stage after that, and what an experience...

The caroling began at around 2330hrs, a 30 minute, non stop caroling process which included songs like Hark the Herald Angels sing, Away in a Manger, Jingle Bells, and so on... I spent most of the time with Wei Lin and her friend, and also my cell, and we had fun... reallyu... despite singing until we lost our voices and found ourselves relatively dehydrated, we had lots of fun. The countdown went well, and I am awfully heartened by the people I had this amazing journey with.

The trip back for dismissal was precarious. People were going crazy with the spraying of the soap and confetti thingys, and the guys formed an outer wall to protect the ladies from the sprays... It was kinda bad... cause everywhere, people just kept spraying, and I only wondere what a mess would be left when everything was over. We reached PUB building safely, and then I walked Vanessa over to meet Ps Eugene, before returning to join Wai Chong, Esther and this P5 girl to send them back home. That completed my Christmas @ Orchard... Here are a couple of photos.
















Left: The 4 VJC 20th Councillors
Right: My cell group (minus Isaac)















Left: Me with Felicia
Right: Me with Wei Lin

The next big event happened to be the 7000 laps challenge at the swimming pool. I was appointed to be the Master of Ceremony with Serene, and well, the day started with me waking up late and having to rush to Toa Payoh swimming complex. The set up was pretty smooth, except for the sound systems, which took some time in setting up, but we eventually got it down.

The event kickstasrted with a speech by Ps Jimmy and then a speech by Ps Eugene, before I took over for warm ups. A lot of people came down... Winnie, Feng Yi, Shane, Sam Soh... in total, about 130 people turned up. Wow... haha... there were also a couple of challenges... the 4 X 100m free style, 4 X 50m breast stroke, and the 2 X 50m float challenge, the paper challenge as well as the 4 X 50m float and ball challenge... as long as the challenges included the paper of the float, I came in champion, so it shows that I can only win when it's something funny. :S

Along the way, I managed to get some time to jump into the pool for a swim, and towards the end, I just spent all my time in the pool. I managed to clock 46 laps... haha... quite happy already... We managed to hit 7000 laps at about 1530 hours, 1.5hrs off out predicted timing. And what was heartwarming was that the National Water Polo Team came to swim laps for us as well. Wow... haha...

I had a good talk with Shane, and I was also complimented for my MC skills, but I honestly felt that I could have done much better... I will keep on improving, because I know that I don't want to stay stagnant. Add on the never ending flow of bananas and mineral water, and I daresay that it was a successful event in its own way.


BREAKOUT 2007! FCBC Youthnet's Countdown Party was held on 31 Dec 2006 from 2100hrs onwards, and this was the day taht we would see all our hard work and effort put into rehearsals come to fruition. We had a rehearsal, or to me, more of a warm up to the stage, before we kicked full swing into the event itself. I enjoyed myself quite a fair bit, actually... getting to know Charmaine, Michelle, hanging out with Shairull and the guys, playing around with hair glitter, face glitter, and changing my hair colour to pink! Hahaha... I did enjoy doing "Joyful Joyful", but I especially loved "Shine Jesus Shine" with all the candles and all. The 11year old kkid who sang solo was good, but I had never heard the Expo more quiet when Vanesa sang her solo. It was a powerful moment, and one where I really felt God's presence washing over me.

We ended off with "Tell the One Way", and I was really touched when during the debrief, Sarah revealed that she had prepared a card for each and every one of us, and also some chocolates... As Rachel and I walked away, I realised that this had indeed been anb enriching experience... and I thank God for having brought me on this journey.

After that, 14 of the JB Tribe went off for supper at Simpang Bedok at this HK Cafe with Prata. Haha... we had a great time, if I say so myself, laughing, joking, and sharing on the Countdown and many other things. I think that I'm very lucky that God gave me such a wonderful Tribe to be in, and so many wonderful friends... as we went home, Rachel, Isaac, Victor Sim and I shared a cab home. That night, as I prayed to God, I thanked Him for 2006... for everything that he had done for me.

As 2007 nears, I am optimistic about it... For my new job at Bedok North Secondary School, for OVA events, specifically VJC Victorians' Day and the OVA Alumni dinner, which I am to be in charge of. And also, for the many Tribe events that will be coming up, as well as the many 20th meetings we will be having before long... I'm thankful for everything. and I will work hard for what will come.

Thank you everyone, for a memorable 2006... let's work towards 2007 together!