Dear Mandy,
It's coming to the end of July already. How fast it seems, and yet so long... I'm at the brink of my National Service tour, and it somehow feels like it couldn't have come any sooner. But despite my grievings about NS, I know that I'll miss the unique mess culture of 30 SCE, and the friends that I've come to enjoy working with, living with and being with in general.
All these aside, the new month seems to be busy and arduous, and there's still the case of my driving test, that I think will come pretty soon, I pray. I really hope I can pass my driving soon, so that I can stop relying on my parents to drive me to and fro from camp and to anywhere else that I need to go. It's been a long learning journey, and I am looking forward to ending it soon...
In camp, though, work seems to be taking it's toll on me. I'm adopting a more relaxed attitude towards my work, doing things at a more slow, and comfortable pace, instead of my usual work until I pengz attitude. Haha... and it has been good, except that I know that deep within, I'm unhappy at myself for not being able to be as committed as I once was... I just hope I find back my tempo, because under MAJ David, it's a new revamp of many procedures and SOP, and though good, is an increasing workload, which I suddenly feel happy to have, and will soon face.
Social Night is coming up... and I'm supposed to extend it to all ladies who are interested in free flow of drinks and free entry into MOX, where we've booked the entire Attic, so it's just that event only. Please contact me if you're interested, so I can tell you the details.
Okayz, so I finally managed to meet up with Maggie on Wednesday, and though the initial reason why we met up was cause I needed to go shopping, but the truth is, I wanted to catch up with her. Haha... so we had this huge hoohah about how MAJ David had a last minute meeting and I left camp an hour late, and how she went to Orchard to do an errand, and how we ended up miscommunicating and I was at City Hall and her at Orchard. It's so funny, coming to think of it now... haha. Then we went to Marina to eat Carl's Jr, and my goodness, the SIZE of the burgers! haha... we spent the rest of the outing there, looking through the pictures Maggie took when she went to LSE, and just catching up on what we've missed out on each other's lives. It's a good session, and after that, I walked her home, and thus ended a memorable night with one of my closest friends.
Recently, I've managed to catch up with Gayne, and her parents are so funny! Haha... and yup, it's still quite amazing how quickly we managed to breach the gap we had of about 2 years of hardly contacting each other to be close friends again. Haha... so interesting right? It's amazing how God works... so much so that I feel like everything is already mapped out, but how well we achieve our objectives depends on how hard we work for it.
I'll continue to work hard for VS 130 and for work and for my friends... I pray that you all will too.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Dear Mandy,
It's been 3 weeks since I last wrote in. And in this span of 3 weeks, I feel older. Much much older, and in some weird sense, slightly unhappier. Haha... is it always meant to be that weird? I wonder. Because despite having slightly lesser things to do, it seems that the environment I'm in causes me to still be stressed, if not, more stressed than I normally am. Perhaps God is telling me that I'm less busy in work so I have more time to handle the other commitments I have... so I guess that's his idea.
Alright, one thing I was happy about this week was my OFF DAY! Haha... I spent the morning sleeping in, before I went to VS to settle the tentage for VS130. Or rather, show the guy the area and request for his ideas on the tentage. He's a nice guy, and well, I do miss VS as much as I miss VJC... I mean, VS gave me my basic foundation and my character building... It's where I developed my leadership... Oh well, we'll come to that later.
After that, I went back to VJC and played floorball for a while... and then I met YuYun! Haha... my fellow Triton OGL! She's looking really good, and enjoying her education overseas... oh well. Following which, I went off to National Track and Field Championships. But before I entered the stadium, I rushed off for my Department Dinner at Jurong Point Fish and Co, where I had a happy, non work related chat with Lincoln, Daw Rui, Joel and gang. Hahaha... it was a happy occasion. Then, I rushed back to Choa Chu Kang stadium to meet up with 23rd, and well, due to some mess ups, there were only 10 of us there. Me, LuBin, Peizhen, Lay Peng, Shu Hua, Jireh, Terence, Darel, Shu Xie and Nikhil. And we had fun! Haha.. just chatting and cheering, and making fun of the sound systems... It's been too long since I last had that kind of fun... and I miss and crave it.
I realised that for too long, I've been having to keep up this image thing because of my rank, my positions, or just because I'm a leader. I cannot act overly childish and enjoy fun, and I felt stifled. It isn't like VJC... I let myself enjoy my mass dances and cheering.... It isn't like VS, where we are all a bunch of guys just out to have fun, and lead at the same time... and I let myself be carried away with my passion. Perhaps that's why I keep going back... I just can't let go. But I know I will have to do that soon... OVA will soon be my main commitment back to the College and the School... and I'll miss it all.
I wanna cry. Haha... I miss all the times we used to have... and I know deep down inside, that they cannot be sustainable in the long run... so I have been archiving them slowly, but surely in my heart... and that's why I've been distant to people. I don't know what's wrong, but it's perhaps that stage in life when you realise you need to be alone, and you feel better off that way.
I'm still struggling to find my identity, so yeah. I'm learning.
It's been 3 weeks since I last wrote in. And in this span of 3 weeks, I feel older. Much much older, and in some weird sense, slightly unhappier. Haha... is it always meant to be that weird? I wonder. Because despite having slightly lesser things to do, it seems that the environment I'm in causes me to still be stressed, if not, more stressed than I normally am. Perhaps God is telling me that I'm less busy in work so I have more time to handle the other commitments I have... so I guess that's his idea.
Alright, one thing I was happy about this week was my OFF DAY! Haha... I spent the morning sleeping in, before I went to VS to settle the tentage for VS130. Or rather, show the guy the area and request for his ideas on the tentage. He's a nice guy, and well, I do miss VS as much as I miss VJC... I mean, VS gave me my basic foundation and my character building... It's where I developed my leadership... Oh well, we'll come to that later.
After that, I went back to VJC and played floorball for a while... and then I met YuYun! Haha... my fellow Triton OGL! She's looking really good, and enjoying her education overseas... oh well. Following which, I went off to National Track and Field Championships. But before I entered the stadium, I rushed off for my Department Dinner at Jurong Point Fish and Co, where I had a happy, non work related chat with Lincoln, Daw Rui, Joel and gang. Hahaha... it was a happy occasion. Then, I rushed back to Choa Chu Kang stadium to meet up with 23rd, and well, due to some mess ups, there were only 10 of us there. Me, LuBin, Peizhen, Lay Peng, Shu Hua, Jireh, Terence, Darel, Shu Xie and Nikhil. And we had fun! Haha.. just chatting and cheering, and making fun of the sound systems... It's been too long since I last had that kind of fun... and I miss and crave it.
I realised that for too long, I've been having to keep up this image thing because of my rank, my positions, or just because I'm a leader. I cannot act overly childish and enjoy fun, and I felt stifled. It isn't like VJC... I let myself enjoy my mass dances and cheering.... It isn't like VS, where we are all a bunch of guys just out to have fun, and lead at the same time... and I let myself be carried away with my passion. Perhaps that's why I keep going back... I just can't let go. But I know I will have to do that soon... OVA will soon be my main commitment back to the College and the School... and I'll miss it all.
I wanna cry. Haha... I miss all the times we used to have... and I know deep down inside, that they cannot be sustainable in the long run... so I have been archiving them slowly, but surely in my heart... and that's why I've been distant to people. I don't know what's wrong, but it's perhaps that stage in life when you realise you need to be alone, and you feel better off that way.
I'm still struggling to find my identity, so yeah. I'm learning.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Dear Mandy,
Well, it's the end of another week, and I thank God for having brought me through this week. This week has been slightly better than most weeks... and I'll tell you as I go along ok?
Well, on Monday, I sort of developed a slight fever at night, cause I think I've overworked myself and didn't rest enough... so for the most part of it, I thought I was fine, but I had no idea why I felt so lethargic. So after our Field Initiation meeting, I slept, and when I woke up for Mess Initiation rehearsal, I was quite drained... which is something that doesn't happen often... but I just didn't bother abt it.
Of course the next day when we ran 7km, I couldn't even last 3km with my fever, and had to fall out. Felt quite unhappy abt it, but I guess I had to acknowledge it... there would also be a soccer game later too, and I had to go for that if not there wouldn't be enough players... So that was in the morning, and in the afternoon, we headed for the last and final game in the EPL, against RAFT, the leading team and last season's champions. Needless to say, we fielded a team that was quite the joker group, and we just played for fun. Haha... we got trashed 6 - 0. Haaha... and then, I went home!! So nice to go home after work. But I do like staying in camp... when there's actually something to do. So at about 9pm, I set off back to camp, and then spent the night chatting to Celestine and Lee Min... :)
Wednesday was slightly better... I slept a bit longer in cause there was no Bn PT, and managed to drag myself off to work. Work went pretty smoothly, and well, I was looking forward to after work, cause I'd be meeting up with Rachel and helping her move goodie bags in SMU. It was a really good feeling, meeting her and chatting with her... I guess she's still one of the few people who I can just talk about anything on everything. In the midst of shifting goodie bags, Sanjee came to help and the two of us operated like a 2-man section, just walking and working between the two of us felt so much like old times, and I relished that experience once again. I realised in that instant just how much I miss the gang of the motto "Nil Sine Labore", of the Victorian family; VS and VJ alike... Well, in any case, we saw Lauretta and Priscilla Li, and I did enjoy myself, despite aching quite badly after the whole fiasco.
Thursday placed me in quite a frenzy due to the pending Initiation that was coming up on Friday... the day went by, the only highlight being the EX BOLDCASTLE closing ceremony, which the attitudes of certain people turned me off. Later that night, we sat down for a meeting to finalise the details with each other before I left with Hui Chai to get the drinks. Apart from spending close to $85 on the drinks, we had fun buying the ingredients for the Bears' Cove Special. After which I went to OCS to collect Gabriel's uniform and also some much missed food. After which we had to conduct one more Mess Initiation Rehearsal and faced with a couple of attitudes I didn't really like.
That night, I called Maggie... she was busy when I called her, and I waited for about an hour before she called back, and I realised just how much I miss her! We talked for over 2 hours, just catching up on everything... and it dawned on me that I realised and understood a lot from her.
Friday was mess and field initiation. Field was quite bad... but from there, I learnt from LTA Lester Gwee, who showed me determination, and leadership and perseverance... But most importantly, leading by example. I respect him a lot from this field initiation. Of course, the more worrying part for us was Mess Initiation, and for good reason. I had to down 9 mugs of beer within the 3 hours of Initiation, and ended up puking quite badly as well... Ervin downed 11, Timothy, Hui Chai and Zhiyuan downed about 8, and Gabriel down 5, Samuel downed 3.5. It was quite a haul, considering that we are not drinkers and we were below strength.
I got quite drunk that night, but the sad thing was, I welcomed the hazy feelings and the euphoria of the effects of alcohol... I know that there have been a lot on my mind of late, and I had been stressing about a lot of things, so the being drunk took my mind off a lot of these thoughts, and for the first time in a long time, I managed to sms out a couple of hidden fears to a friend. Of course, the headache, queasy feelings and wobbly knees were givens, but I managed to stay awake long enough to watch Gemany win Argentina, before I knocked out in camp.
I woke at about 7 something, but only left camp around 9 plus, for I really felt quite out of sorts, and spent the whole day recuperating today. Other than that, Maggie flies off to LSE for her summer school for 3 weeks, so all the best and enjoy the break!
Well, it's the end of another week, and I thank God for having brought me through this week. This week has been slightly better than most weeks... and I'll tell you as I go along ok?
Well, on Monday, I sort of developed a slight fever at night, cause I think I've overworked myself and didn't rest enough... so for the most part of it, I thought I was fine, but I had no idea why I felt so lethargic. So after our Field Initiation meeting, I slept, and when I woke up for Mess Initiation rehearsal, I was quite drained... which is something that doesn't happen often... but I just didn't bother abt it.
Of course the next day when we ran 7km, I couldn't even last 3km with my fever, and had to fall out. Felt quite unhappy abt it, but I guess I had to acknowledge it... there would also be a soccer game later too, and I had to go for that if not there wouldn't be enough players... So that was in the morning, and in the afternoon, we headed for the last and final game in the EPL, against RAFT, the leading team and last season's champions. Needless to say, we fielded a team that was quite the joker group, and we just played for fun. Haha... we got trashed 6 - 0. Haaha... and then, I went home!! So nice to go home after work. But I do like staying in camp... when there's actually something to do. So at about 9pm, I set off back to camp, and then spent the night chatting to Celestine and Lee Min... :)
Wednesday was slightly better... I slept a bit longer in cause there was no Bn PT, and managed to drag myself off to work. Work went pretty smoothly, and well, I was looking forward to after work, cause I'd be meeting up with Rachel and helping her move goodie bags in SMU. It was a really good feeling, meeting her and chatting with her... I guess she's still one of the few people who I can just talk about anything on everything. In the midst of shifting goodie bags, Sanjee came to help and the two of us operated like a 2-man section, just walking and working between the two of us felt so much like old times, and I relished that experience once again. I realised in that instant just how much I miss the gang of the motto "Nil Sine Labore", of the Victorian family; VS and VJ alike... Well, in any case, we saw Lauretta and Priscilla Li, and I did enjoy myself, despite aching quite badly after the whole fiasco.
Thursday placed me in quite a frenzy due to the pending Initiation that was coming up on Friday... the day went by, the only highlight being the EX BOLDCASTLE closing ceremony, which the attitudes of certain people turned me off. Later that night, we sat down for a meeting to finalise the details with each other before I left with Hui Chai to get the drinks. Apart from spending close to $85 on the drinks, we had fun buying the ingredients for the Bears' Cove Special. After which I went to OCS to collect Gabriel's uniform and also some much missed food. After which we had to conduct one more Mess Initiation Rehearsal and faced with a couple of attitudes I didn't really like.
That night, I called Maggie... she was busy when I called her, and I waited for about an hour before she called back, and I realised just how much I miss her! We talked for over 2 hours, just catching up on everything... and it dawned on me that I realised and understood a lot from her.
Friday was mess and field initiation. Field was quite bad... but from there, I learnt from LTA Lester Gwee, who showed me determination, and leadership and perseverance... But most importantly, leading by example. I respect him a lot from this field initiation. Of course, the more worrying part for us was Mess Initiation, and for good reason. I had to down 9 mugs of beer within the 3 hours of Initiation, and ended up puking quite badly as well... Ervin downed 11, Timothy, Hui Chai and Zhiyuan downed about 8, and Gabriel down 5, Samuel downed 3.5. It was quite a haul, considering that we are not drinkers and we were below strength.
I got quite drunk that night, but the sad thing was, I welcomed the hazy feelings and the euphoria of the effects of alcohol... I know that there have been a lot on my mind of late, and I had been stressing about a lot of things, so the being drunk took my mind off a lot of these thoughts, and for the first time in a long time, I managed to sms out a couple of hidden fears to a friend. Of course, the headache, queasy feelings and wobbly knees were givens, but I managed to stay awake long enough to watch Gemany win Argentina, before I knocked out in camp.
I woke at about 7 something, but only left camp around 9 plus, for I really felt quite out of sorts, and spent the whole day recuperating today. Other than that, Maggie flies off to LSE for her summer school for 3 weeks, so all the best and enjoy the break!
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