Dear Mandy...
It's pretty amazing how I can go back to VJC and still feel it's home even though I've left the college for a good 2 years! Haha... and well, ironically, it's sad that I keep going back, because I know very well that this present council, the VJC 23RD SC will be the last council I'll oversee and guide for one full term.
And it's sad for me. All along, I've wanted to be a guide to the Councillors, especially in year 2 when there're no seniors to guide them through a new phase... And well, how much I've done or rather, I managed to do, is really not a lot... and sometimes, I can tell that my presence is not wanted... but I still do it. Haha.. call me thick skinned... oh well....
It's still pretty amazing how we can never get tired about talking about our past in VJC... from nominees onwards to the end of A levels, to life after VJC, to well, each other's progress in their respective fields... it's really something that I miss, and harbour inner wishes of it being more often than what it is now. But I'm harbouring wishful thoughts... how oft it is when a council graduates, we all go our separate ways, and meeting up becomes something of a distant memory, as each of us are busy, and unable to meet at the same time as others can! It's kinda saddening.. but well, maybe that's why I'm in VJC ever so often...
In any case... I love VJC...
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Dear Mandy...
Well, it's been another week, and it's left me feeling more confused and lost than I did when I first started out...
On Monday, S3 was still around, so we had this huge Pow-wow to settle all the Outstanding matters, and also the pressing matters... I guess he's right to say we're all fighting out own fires... I realise I have a lot of little campfires I have to attend to myself, and it doesn't take a scientist to know that I'd be in for a tough time without S3 around... For all of us actually... So, on Monday, S3 left. And I found myself feeling insecure... and very very lost... I had a call from Lee Min, to arrange for our meeting for her to pass me her birthday present. Apparently, Marcello fell sick, and it's suspected HFM, so I offered to go to the doctor's with her, and well, encountered what I must say, an appalling call from her boyfriend! Well, apparently, he's encountered some problems with Lee Min, and was so called, checking up on my relation with her... after reassuring him, well, things ironed out. But, I don't know... so it made Monday having 2 things to make me think about.
Tuesday saw the first day without S3 around... and no, it wasn't fun, to say the least. I had myself arrowed with a lot a lot of things, that well, normally isn't my jobscope, and I found myself, Lincoln and Wilson, running around just trying to bat down small fires that had escalated out of our reach. It wasn't fun, no... I find myself being overloaded with work... and then, looking at my other commitments as well, I found myself with more ambiguity and feeling ever so more lost than when I began.
Wednesday was a half day for me, not before we had Crescendo Coord meeting that I ended up being more than not, slightly miffed as I realised my role in that meeting was not very significant. After that, I took my half day off and I went to VJC to leave with the 23rd SC for National Schools' Cross Country Championship finals. Well, VS won the double champions for C and B div, and well, VJC won 3rd for A Boys and 4th for A Girls. It was quite a good day... but it was also the first match support of 23rd that I saw, and I was far from impressed... but I was still hopeful and optimistic of their potential and their talents, I guess they just needed more guidance and experience... 22nd however, felt that they needed to wake up. Seeing how it's their 3rd match support, well, I can understand why they feel pissed off with 23rd... but, well, I sincerely believe they can do better... I shan't dwell more on this, because, what's done is done, and I hope 23rd can improve on their match support.
I return over to camp on Thursday to find fires brewing that require immediate attention, including one that seemed to be not our problem, but something that we can rectify anyway... so we shot up and hopped around, and in the end, after a meeting with CPT Ricky, a discussion with Han yuan, and a pow wow with Lincoln and Wilson, we managed to bat down the fire to a manageable one, and I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief... being that the next day was Good Friday, I managed to get off work early and just relax as the DO, but that was until 2 recruits from CHarlie started to fight and were awarded 14 days SOL... so that warranted an incident report, and also the start of their reports... sigh... not much fun for them, I can assure you...
Friday saw me at home recuperating from DO duty at home... sleeping.. and I realised how sleep deprived I was when I took 6 hours of sleep straight away.
Today I went to school to run, and I did... had a long chat with Meng Siong, Santosh, Jing-Yi, Joel about NS and stuff like that, and then we had fun going to Siglap and buying lunch... following which, Shefong, me, Jing-Yi and Santosh had another long chat... and then I met Britney, went to 7-11 to have lunch with them, and then after that, I sat in for the 23rd SC Red Shirts meeting.. it was a long one, which is always the case for the first meeting of ECO... and I remembered that our first meeting to settle the basic structure was always with the seniors... and quite sadly, there were no real seniors there to teach them the roles... It's quite sad, honestly... and I realised that it would be very difficult for me to re create the dynamic and well organised working style of ECO as I'm in no position to say anything. But I'm glad and optimistic for this batch of Red Shirts to recreate that dynamic quality that the Red Shirts have always had, which was lost somewhere along the way... and to make that impact again.
But when I left, I found myself contemplating a lot of things... and I found myself even more confused... until Dommy dear put me back on track... I realise what she said is true... thanks Dommy... I owe u one...
I cannot turn back time, and I cannot recreate the past. I can only embrace the present.. and do whatever change I can do... I am me... and I ought to be happy with that fact... :)
Well, it's been another week, and it's left me feeling more confused and lost than I did when I first started out...
On Monday, S3 was still around, so we had this huge Pow-wow to settle all the Outstanding matters, and also the pressing matters... I guess he's right to say we're all fighting out own fires... I realise I have a lot of little campfires I have to attend to myself, and it doesn't take a scientist to know that I'd be in for a tough time without S3 around... For all of us actually... So, on Monday, S3 left. And I found myself feeling insecure... and very very lost... I had a call from Lee Min, to arrange for our meeting for her to pass me her birthday present. Apparently, Marcello fell sick, and it's suspected HFM, so I offered to go to the doctor's with her, and well, encountered what I must say, an appalling call from her boyfriend! Well, apparently, he's encountered some problems with Lee Min, and was so called, checking up on my relation with her... after reassuring him, well, things ironed out. But, I don't know... so it made Monday having 2 things to make me think about.
Tuesday saw the first day without S3 around... and no, it wasn't fun, to say the least. I had myself arrowed with a lot a lot of things, that well, normally isn't my jobscope, and I found myself, Lincoln and Wilson, running around just trying to bat down small fires that had escalated out of our reach. It wasn't fun, no... I find myself being overloaded with work... and then, looking at my other commitments as well, I found myself with more ambiguity and feeling ever so more lost than when I began.
Wednesday was a half day for me, not before we had Crescendo Coord meeting that I ended up being more than not, slightly miffed as I realised my role in that meeting was not very significant. After that, I took my half day off and I went to VJC to leave with the 23rd SC for National Schools' Cross Country Championship finals. Well, VS won the double champions for C and B div, and well, VJC won 3rd for A Boys and 4th for A Girls. It was quite a good day... but it was also the first match support of 23rd that I saw, and I was far from impressed... but I was still hopeful and optimistic of their potential and their talents, I guess they just needed more guidance and experience... 22nd however, felt that they needed to wake up. Seeing how it's their 3rd match support, well, I can understand why they feel pissed off with 23rd... but, well, I sincerely believe they can do better... I shan't dwell more on this, because, what's done is done, and I hope 23rd can improve on their match support.
I return over to camp on Thursday to find fires brewing that require immediate attention, including one that seemed to be not our problem, but something that we can rectify anyway... so we shot up and hopped around, and in the end, after a meeting with CPT Ricky, a discussion with Han yuan, and a pow wow with Lincoln and Wilson, we managed to bat down the fire to a manageable one, and I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief... being that the next day was Good Friday, I managed to get off work early and just relax as the DO, but that was until 2 recruits from CHarlie started to fight and were awarded 14 days SOL... so that warranted an incident report, and also the start of their reports... sigh... not much fun for them, I can assure you...
Friday saw me at home recuperating from DO duty at home... sleeping.. and I realised how sleep deprived I was when I took 6 hours of sleep straight away.
Today I went to school to run, and I did... had a long chat with Meng Siong, Santosh, Jing-Yi, Joel about NS and stuff like that, and then we had fun going to Siglap and buying lunch... following which, Shefong, me, Jing-Yi and Santosh had another long chat... and then I met Britney, went to 7-11 to have lunch with them, and then after that, I sat in for the 23rd SC Red Shirts meeting.. it was a long one, which is always the case for the first meeting of ECO... and I remembered that our first meeting to settle the basic structure was always with the seniors... and quite sadly, there were no real seniors there to teach them the roles... It's quite sad, honestly... and I realised that it would be very difficult for me to re create the dynamic and well organised working style of ECO as I'm in no position to say anything. But I'm glad and optimistic for this batch of Red Shirts to recreate that dynamic quality that the Red Shirts have always had, which was lost somewhere along the way... and to make that impact again.
But when I left, I found myself contemplating a lot of things... and I found myself even more confused... until Dommy dear put me back on track... I realise what she said is true... thanks Dommy... I owe u one...
I cannot turn back time, and I cannot recreate the past. I can only embrace the present.. and do whatever change I can do... I am me... and I ought to be happy with that fact... :)
Friday, April 07, 2006
Dear Mandy...
It's been 2 weeks... so long... so tired, and really have wanted to let go... just lie down low and sleep away my whole life... I don't know what exactly was wrong with this week, but it really drained me...
On Sat, 1 Apr 06, Me, Ken, Shane and WC had dinner to celebrate our birthdays... Shane was 27 Mar, WC 2 Apr, me 3 Apr and Ken 7 Apr... we had Kenny Rogers and Shane was so nice to make reservations for us! The servings were huge! I really ate till I couldn't down another mouthful... that was before we hit the arcade, and then we had a loong chat at Mac. Then WC drove the three of us home to S'goon Nth, and then he went off home to Tampines... so nice of them right? We're all BMT buddies, the 4 of us, and we're really quite close. We meet up once in a quarter year? And we just talk and talk... haha... it's a nice feeling.
On Sunday, 2 Apr 06, I watched Ice Age 2, and it is really cute... though not as stress relieving as Pink Panther, but the fact that I watched it with my beloved Councillors made it all the more worthwhile...
Monday, 3 Apr 06, my birthday. Thanks to everyone who remembered and took the effort to wish me happy birthday... Especially to Lee Min!! She even took the effort to get me a present! Gosh, and I didn't even remember to wish her happy birthday on hers! Sigh sigh... I really am thankful for her lorz... Of course, there were the people who I really didn't expect to remember, like Shi Ying, Kristy P... and well, there were the people who didn't remember... sigh. It's ok. I appreciate you remembering no matter how late. :) But then again, it may have been my birthday, but it didn't make any difference... I didn't have my birthday off, since it was the day of CO Conference, and there was also the Unit Safety Meeting, and also the rehearsal for the Army Mess Happy Hour.. so, I didn't really get to enjoy my birthday... oh well. I didn't expect much anyway... :)
Tuesday was IPPT for regulars, and well, after which I had to go to SISPEC's Rocky Hill Mess for the Army Mess Happy Hour. I spent almost a whole day there.. majority of the time I was doing nothing... until the actual event. Even then, I didn't do much. There were so many changes that kept being made... in the end? I just ended up standing around, eating, drinking, and being lost in my own thoughts. After the whole event, I spent an hour on the phone with Britney... Catching up on 23rd's progress, and finding out from Britney just what exactly was going on... I must admit, I found my junior a very fun person to talk to. Haha... But the day didn't end happily... Due to a major miscommunication, I found myself having to conduct battalion PT the next day... and unfortunately for me, the AI had so many errors that I found myself making as many corrections as the number of pages the AI had. In the end, Samuel said he'd conduct, so we spent a good half hour at the Ops Room printing a new AI, and making all the corrections...
Wednesday saw me being the safety officer of Bn PT, but as I felt I needed to run, I joined 'C' Coy for Speed Training, which by the way, was 2.4km worth of sprints and jogging... It was really physically demanding, and I'm quite happy i completed the whole thingy. Haha... after that, I spent the whole day in the office, finishing up the minutes for CO Conference, and then going out for a quick dinner, where I managed to get my karaoke CD and that night, I had a quick selection of song with Meng Kit, YC, Ah Hoe and JD... It was kinda fun!
Thursday kickstarted with another IPPT for regulars, and after that, I went to clear my e-mails in the office. After that, I went to rehearse somemore, before I went of to Ministry Of Sound, which is where we had the Engineer Idol Finals, and also the 39th Engineers' Anniversary Celebrations... The whole place was nice, but after a while, I realised that I'm not a clubbing kind of person... Our emcee was Caroline Cheong... and our judges included MC King and Margaret Lee of JCrew... That night, I sang ???????and I got a total of 26/40. MC King said I didn't have the idol image, Margaret said she found my voice soothing, and when she closed her eyes, she could actually find herself appreciating how it was. The next judge said I sing like Jay Zhou, partly because she couldn't hear what I was singing, but she said I had a nice voice. And the last judge said that he liked my performance... I was quite touched. Of course, I wasn't in top 3, but I'm already quite happy I tried.
I met Chiew Mei, and her friends, Michelle, Dalena and Zhiyi (I think that's the spelling) that night, and well, it was great seeing Chiew again... That night, well, I understood just how much I wished I had someone to hold me, and someone to tell me everything will be alright... Because that night, at MOS, Chiew took care of me, and well, I sort of took care of her as well... and we just chatted, and walked around, and well, it felt really nice to be able to not be the one that's strong... I just didn't need to be strong, and there was no stress... I didn't have to make anything happen... I just needed to be a normal person who's just giving and caring for another person... I miss that feeling so much... but I don't ever get it often.
Then that night, Gabriel and I went back to camp together. Thanks to his parents who drove us to pick up some ice cream and some drinks before we headed back to camp... where we enjoyed our ice cream over watching Wong Fei Hung on the TV... haha... then we went to sleep.
Today I was in the office for majority of the time, and once again, I found myself in another meeting... this time, a coord meeting for Crescendo... it was a long, boring meeting whereby I can honestly say I wasn't needed, but oh well... then I spent the day worrying about rounds for GPMG... sigh... I just wish I had a break...
It's been 2 weeks... so long... so tired, and really have wanted to let go... just lie down low and sleep away my whole life... I don't know what exactly was wrong with this week, but it really drained me...
On Sat, 1 Apr 06, Me, Ken, Shane and WC had dinner to celebrate our birthdays... Shane was 27 Mar, WC 2 Apr, me 3 Apr and Ken 7 Apr... we had Kenny Rogers and Shane was so nice to make reservations for us! The servings were huge! I really ate till I couldn't down another mouthful... that was before we hit the arcade, and then we had a loong chat at Mac. Then WC drove the three of us home to S'goon Nth, and then he went off home to Tampines... so nice of them right? We're all BMT buddies, the 4 of us, and we're really quite close. We meet up once in a quarter year? And we just talk and talk... haha... it's a nice feeling.
On Sunday, 2 Apr 06, I watched Ice Age 2, and it is really cute... though not as stress relieving as Pink Panther, but the fact that I watched it with my beloved Councillors made it all the more worthwhile...
Monday, 3 Apr 06, my birthday. Thanks to everyone who remembered and took the effort to wish me happy birthday... Especially to Lee Min!! She even took the effort to get me a present! Gosh, and I didn't even remember to wish her happy birthday on hers! Sigh sigh... I really am thankful for her lorz... Of course, there were the people who I really didn't expect to remember, like Shi Ying, Kristy P... and well, there were the people who didn't remember... sigh. It's ok. I appreciate you remembering no matter how late. :) But then again, it may have been my birthday, but it didn't make any difference... I didn't have my birthday off, since it was the day of CO Conference, and there was also the Unit Safety Meeting, and also the rehearsal for the Army Mess Happy Hour.. so, I didn't really get to enjoy my birthday... oh well. I didn't expect much anyway... :)
Tuesday was IPPT for regulars, and well, after which I had to go to SISPEC's Rocky Hill Mess for the Army Mess Happy Hour. I spent almost a whole day there.. majority of the time I was doing nothing... until the actual event. Even then, I didn't do much. There were so many changes that kept being made... in the end? I just ended up standing around, eating, drinking, and being lost in my own thoughts. After the whole event, I spent an hour on the phone with Britney... Catching up on 23rd's progress, and finding out from Britney just what exactly was going on... I must admit, I found my junior a very fun person to talk to. Haha... But the day didn't end happily... Due to a major miscommunication, I found myself having to conduct battalion PT the next day... and unfortunately for me, the AI had so many errors that I found myself making as many corrections as the number of pages the AI had. In the end, Samuel said he'd conduct, so we spent a good half hour at the Ops Room printing a new AI, and making all the corrections...
Wednesday saw me being the safety officer of Bn PT, but as I felt I needed to run, I joined 'C' Coy for Speed Training, which by the way, was 2.4km worth of sprints and jogging... It was really physically demanding, and I'm quite happy i completed the whole thingy. Haha... after that, I spent the whole day in the office, finishing up the minutes for CO Conference, and then going out for a quick dinner, where I managed to get my karaoke CD and that night, I had a quick selection of song with Meng Kit, YC, Ah Hoe and JD... It was kinda fun!
Thursday kickstarted with another IPPT for regulars, and after that, I went to clear my e-mails in the office. After that, I went to rehearse somemore, before I went of to Ministry Of Sound, which is where we had the Engineer Idol Finals, and also the 39th Engineers' Anniversary Celebrations... The whole place was nice, but after a while, I realised that I'm not a clubbing kind of person... Our emcee was Caroline Cheong... and our judges included MC King and Margaret Lee of JCrew... That night, I sang ???????and I got a total of 26/40. MC King said I didn't have the idol image, Margaret said she found my voice soothing, and when she closed her eyes, she could actually find herself appreciating how it was. The next judge said I sing like Jay Zhou, partly because she couldn't hear what I was singing, but she said I had a nice voice. And the last judge said that he liked my performance... I was quite touched. Of course, I wasn't in top 3, but I'm already quite happy I tried.
I met Chiew Mei, and her friends, Michelle, Dalena and Zhiyi (I think that's the spelling) that night, and well, it was great seeing Chiew again... That night, well, I understood just how much I wished I had someone to hold me, and someone to tell me everything will be alright... Because that night, at MOS, Chiew took care of me, and well, I sort of took care of her as well... and we just chatted, and walked around, and well, it felt really nice to be able to not be the one that's strong... I just didn't need to be strong, and there was no stress... I didn't have to make anything happen... I just needed to be a normal person who's just giving and caring for another person... I miss that feeling so much... but I don't ever get it often.
Then that night, Gabriel and I went back to camp together. Thanks to his parents who drove us to pick up some ice cream and some drinks before we headed back to camp... where we enjoyed our ice cream over watching Wong Fei Hung on the TV... haha... then we went to sleep.
Today I was in the office for majority of the time, and once again, I found myself in another meeting... this time, a coord meeting for Crescendo... it was a long, boring meeting whereby I can honestly say I wasn't needed, but oh well... then I spent the day worrying about rounds for GPMG... sigh... I just wish I had a break...
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