Dear Mandy...

I hate army... serious... these last 4 days of block leave have passed by so quickly, I don't even know what I've done! And suddenly, I'm about... five hours away from going to Brunei for a jungle orientation course... and I seriously am not looking forward to starting the 5 mths of training for pro term. It's another set of obstacles and stress... and to be honest, I really wish I was going to start university instead of heading back into camp for 1.5 years more of regimentation and immense stress... personally, I don't understand why I'm feeling so unhappy everytime i have to book in, and why I'm depressed each time I do book in... oh, i dunno... I just wish I knew why... I used to be optimistic even in the most saddest of situations... but now... I just hate the sight of that green uniform, hate the feeling of being stuck in camp, hate the fact that I'm still having to be assessed on stuff.... and well... life isn't easy, that I've known... but sometimes I just want to be able to take a really long vacation... just to refind the me that I've lost somehow... It just feels like... some sort of never ending camp which gets worse along the way...

Perhaps I just need someone to lean on, once in a while... ever since Yingz and I went on timeout and I entered my isolation state and everything, picking myself up myself... I remember back in JC... my grades were always so bad... and yet i still managed to pick myself up and move on. Then I had the support of all the study grp pple, Council, Anhua and Yingz... but now... all of us have our own paths to focus on, and the army pple I spend my time with, all too have their own problems. It's nice to see how pple rally arnd each other sometimes... :)

I met up with Ngee Leng and Yeow May and Siva on friday... and I really miss VJC... The school's undergoing loads of renovations now.. and it looks different... more zesty if anything, and it's a good sign of the things to come. Then yesterday, I went to witness Rachel's baptism... her church, FCBC is really a very unique church... they encourage people to let loose with their pain and unhappiness openly, and the topic for the service yest, forgiveness, is really appropriate for me this week... haha... I may not be a Christian, but the service is really a memorable one, and I rather liked it...

After that, 9 of us went over to Fish and Co to eat, and we had a blast of a time.. it was just like old times... chatting over dinner... that I really miss... :) I was sad when we all had to go home... but I also know we'll meet up soon, b4 the girls start uni... I hope at least...

Dear Mandy...

Haha... I just watched 2 korean movies: "A moment to remember" and "Love, so divine" and well, I'm really quite touched by the two movies... both talks about love, but they exemplify it in two different ways.

In "A moment to remember", the story starts with this woman, Kim Su-JIn, who's successful in her career, and with a silver spoon in her mouth, her dad being the head of a building company. Problem is, Su-Jin's absent minded, so while she's still getting a good job, she's sort of sent to do the ones that require the least memory work: men's formal wear. The male counterpart is a poor carpenter who starts off by working under Su-Jin's dad. His name is Choi Chul-Soo, and their story is sweet. It talks about their romance, how it develops, they get married, and they are really sweet and easy-going to each other. Through each other, they learn things they never did... like how Chul-Soo comes to forgive his mother for walking out on them, and to be a better carpenter, and how Su-Jin learns to be a better housewife. It seems as though Chul-Soo learns more right? But in the later parts of the movie, Su-Jin is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and gradually, as the day goes by, she loses more and more of her memory. Chul-Soo is devastated, but he still holds on strongly to their relationship. In the midst of a big project, he takes the time and effort to write down everything and displays them on the walls of their home. Things like "how to answer a phone call" and pictures of them together, identifying each other. And Chul-Soo even accepts being called by Su-Jin's ex-lover, as he knows that she can't tell the two apart. One day, Su-Jin remembers everything, and she's appalled by what she has done... calling him by her ex-lover's name and everything, so she pulls all the pictures down, and writes a long letter to Chul-Soo, saying that he's the one she'll always love, and that though he has never said "I love you" to her, she knows that he loves her a lot a lot... it's really sweet, that part, that I end up crying... Su-Jin then leaves the house and runs away to a hospital for people with Alzheimer's disease. Chul-Soo is devastated, to say the least. He doesn't know where to find her, and it affects his work greatly... until he receives a letter from Su-Jin, who recovers her memory for a short while and takes the opportunity to write a letter to him. He goes to find her, and realises she doesn't remember him anymore, though she repeatedly draws his picture in her sketch book. Chul-Soo then makes the effort to bring her back to the place they first met, and throws everyone she's related to inside... Su-Jin regains her memory, and the both of them drive off into the sunset. Along the way, Chul-Soo turns to Su-Jin and says to her what she has always wanted to hear: "Saranghaeyo".

The movie ends there.. its' quite sweet.. haha... will write about "love, so divine" next time... yeahz.

Dear Mandy...

Well, I've officially finished service term of OCS, so it's one third of my cadet life down... and I passed SOC 9.27... the passing time is 9.29... so I am quite relieved. Posted to School of Combat Engineers, and then I found out that I have to do SOC there again.. and I have to meet the passing timing again, and that the rundown is upslope... so well, it's another challenge... I hate SOC, but well, I'll just have to do it I guess... no choice. That's just life... I can only try to be optimistic, and take whatever challenges that come my way. :)

I was looking through the pictures of the VJC 20th SC... and well, I felt this wave of sadness rush over me, as I realise that we're going to be unable to meet up much... sigh... I miss 20th a lot a lot... Miss the days of mass dance, planning, match support and our own choreographed dances... and of course, the little bit and pieces that placed our council together... without a doubt... in VJC, they were my little world... my family, if I say so myself... I miss them dearly... albeit some more than others, but in some weird way, I miss that life...

I'm going to Brunei come Sunday night for ten days before I start in SOCE. To my friends, I'll try to meet up with each of u all k? Trust me... :)